Displaying items by tag: VacuLock

John Thomas® Cleopatra's Candle Platinum Silicone Dildo Review

A silicone dildo that will light up your masturbation sessions

Having recently really enjoyed reviewing the fantastic BEASTLI silicone dildo from John Thomas Toys, I jumped at the chance to review another.

When they got in touch saying they had an unusual dildo that I might enjoy, I have to admit being immediately curious and hooked. I hastily agreed, and they sent me the entire range of four Cleopatra's Candles.

"It's sort of like a Rubik's Cube for your pussy to try to solve. Wiggling back and forth getting the angle just right so it pops into you is a lot of fun, and it takes your breath away when it suddenly slides in."

Joanne

Yes, you read that right 'candles'. This is a dildo designed to look just like a candle, complete with wax running down the sides to give it some nice textures.

I could hardly contain my excitement when the doorbell rang with this latest batch of dildos from John Thomas Toys, so let me tell you all about them.

John Thomas® Toys BEASTLI Platinum Silicone Dildo Review

A texture lovers dream come true

Well, it isn't often that I get approached by a completely new sex toy manufacturer that are producing the kind of dildos that I love right here in the UK.

To say I was delighted when John Thomas Toys got in touch would be an understatement. They wanted me to review one of their newest creations, the Beastli Platinum Silicone Dildo.

"Both sub'r' and I have had a lot of fun getting to know the Beastli dildos with her enjoying the small and as I like a challenge I have been using the medium and the large (that was a squeeze I can tell you)."

Joanne

I obviously jumped at the chance to get my hands (and other parts of my anatomy) on these fantastic looking silicone fantasy dildos packed with really pronounced textures.

Looking like a cross between a Size Queen and a Texture Queens wettest dream, I could hardly contain my excitement as I waited for them to arrive.

Beowulf Silicone Dildo Review From Hankeys Toys

The Beowulf is a silicone dildo of beastly proportions

I have long been a fan of Hankeys Toys, their silicone delights are a sight to behold. With a reputation for larger than life dildos, they are a size queens dream.

I was therefore delighted when they got in touch with me asking if I would like to review the Beowulf for them as well as two of their new XS range of dildos.

"It just gets better and better as you slide more inside with each inch of this dildo opening you up wider and wider until you feel you can't take any more."

Joanne

As you can well imagine, it didn't take me long to decide on how to reply, the chance to enjoy some Hankeys Silicone is not to be missed.

So after a short wait, the doorbell rang, and I went to receive a box of dicks from the courier. Many bottles of lube later, I am ready to tell you all about the Beowulf and what I think of it. So read on to how I got on with it.

The Realm Draken Dragon Dildo with Sword Handle Bundle

A fantastic fantasy dildo and handle that is so much fun to use

I love it when I receive a sex toy (in this case a rather fetching dildo) to review, and when I lay eyes upon it I swoon, as it takes my breath away.

This ladies and gentlemen is what happened when I laid eyes upon The Realm Drago and Draken, a dildo and handle combination sent to me by PeepShowToys.com.

"The texture feels incredible in use, you can feel every bit of it as it opens you and you thrust with it."

Joanne

I couldn't believe my eyes, a dildo and sword handle combination using my favourite sex toy attachment system the Vac-u-lock system.

I knew right from the outset that this was something different, something I was really going to enjoy.

Yubo F1 Fucking Machine From Sexmachines.co.uk

Another fun fucking machine from the sexmachines.co.uk range

I do have the best job in the world I think, especially when Dave from sexmachines.co.uk gets in touch with me asking if I would be interested in reviewing another fucking machine for them.

This time they want me to review the Yubo F1. I had seen some of the other Yubo machines on their site, and they seem ideal for anyone new to fucking machines due to their simplicity.

"Fucking machines never tire, they never complain, and you can trust them not to wipe their cock on your pillow after fucking you (don't ask LOL)."

Joanne

Of course, I agreed to review it for them as you know how much I enjoy my sex machine action. Fucking Machines are just so versatile, and it's always nice to try something new.

I went into this review with no expectations and having reviewed a lot of sex machines I looked forward to seeing how this one would compare with what I have reviewed in the past. So read on to find out where the Yubo F1 starts on my fucking machine starting grid.

Mr Hankeys Alien Dildo Review

Time for some alien impregnation fun and games

Picture my delight when I was asked by Sexmachines.co.uk to review a Mr Hankey's dildo for them. I adore Mr Hankey's dildos and have reviewed four of them so far, and this one will be the fifth.

Sexmachines.co.uk has a fantastic range of dildos, and they recently added the Mr Hankey range of dildos to their repertoire, but unfortuntaly they are no longer stocking them but you can buy them in the UK from CloneZoneDirect.co.uk.

"I must admit though that when I finished the dildo was in a right state. All that texture certainly picks up lots of vag-goo and so when you clean it you need to pay lots of attention to the textures on it to clean them properly."

Joanne

Mr Hankey is renowned for his incredible dildo designs that all feature fantastic detail as well as being larger than your average dildos. Indeed his dildo range is a size queens dream come true.

I couldn't wait to put the Alien Dildo to the test. So with all sorts of alien impregnation fantasies spinning in my head, I had so much fun getting to know it so read on to find out if this Alien will be a box office smash hit or nothing more than a cult B movie prop.

Blue Balls XL 2.0 Fucking Machine Review

A machine that both surprised me and gave me a fantastic rodgering

I love my fucking machines and have used so many now that I am a bit of a connoisseur and I like to be pleasantly surprised by a machine's performance as that is definitely better than being underwhelmed.

Many years ago I tried a fucking machine called the Maestro, and it didn't really flick my switch having been spoilt by other better machines at the time.

"I love the way that fucking machines just never tire and they never give up. Believe me, you will be first to tap out when you can't take any more orgasms not the machine."

Joanne

I was delighted when Sexmachines.co.uk got in touch asking me if I would be interested in reviewing one of their new Blue Balls XL Version 2.0 fucking machines and I jumped at the chance to review it. Its design is very similar to the old Maestro, and I wanted to see if this one lives up to the hype about it as I have heard nothing but praise about the Blue Balls.

Sexmachines.co.uk have one of the most extensive selections of sex and fucking machines in the world, and they stock some of the best around. I really looked forward to seeing how this one performed, so read on to see what I think of it.

Caesar® 3.0 Love Machine - Fucking Machine Review

All hail Caesar. No, not the salad dressing, the Fucking Machine

This is a fucking machine that I have had my eyes on for a long time. It is now in its third design iteration, and improvements are continually being made to the design to improve its performance.

I was delighted when the lovely people over at sexmachine.co.uk got in touch asking if I would like to review one for them. As you can imagine, I almost fell off my chair in my haste to reply with a huge "Yes please".

"Once the dildo was inside me, I could just relax and enjoy the rhythmic fucking that I received, and on its highest setting, it ripped an orgasm out of me in quick order."

Joanne

This is the fourth machine that I have reviewed for them, you can see the others here. It was sent to me for free in exchange for a fair and honest evaluation of its performance and this will not affect the outcome of this review.

One of my primary interests in this machine is its unique leg arrangements which are unlike anything I have reviewed before. So read on to see what I think of this machines performance.

Hercules Silicone Vac-u-lock Dildo From Godemiche

A dildo from the Gods, the Hercules as its name suggests is power encarnate

There aren't that many dildo artisans in the UK, but Godemiche is one of them. Run by Adam and Monika they produce a fantastic range of dildos and butt plugs in body-safe silicone.

I have been fortunate in the past to have reviewed the Adam Silicone Dildo and The Peg Anal Dildo for Godemiche, the Peg is also a fantastic beginners butt plug by the way.

"A feature I love about this dildo is the fact that it is uncircumcised. This is the first dildo that I have owned that has an apparent foreskin, it's half withdrawn, and this makes the head fascinating to look at."

Joanne

I was delighted then when Ian from fmachinefun.co.uk asked if I would be interested in reviewing a Hercules for Godemiche. A version of the Hercules with a Vac-u-lock hole in flesh is now in stock at FmachineFun, and Ian thought it would be nice to hear my thoughts on it.

So as you can imagine, I was delighted to be able to review this behemoth of a dildo, and I was even more surprised when I got to see its fantastic colours when it arrived. So without further ado, here are my thoughts on the Hercules Dildo.

uFUC PRO v.2 Fucking Machine Review

A fucking machine that was so much fun to get to know - intimately.

With a myriad of fucking machines on the market, it is always hard to work out what is good or merely a waste of money. I love reviewing sex machines as it means that there is more information out there for customers to make informed decisions before parting with their hard-earned cash.

I was therefore delighted when Sexmachines.co.uk got in touch asking for another impartial review of one of the best selling machines, the uFuc Pro.

"It has a lot of power, even managing to start a double ended dildo slowly when it was fully inserted after I had stopped it on purpose. Some cheap machines don't have the torque to do that, and you go from stop to high speed, but this one is smooth and fantastic. I was genuinely impressed."

Joanne

I jumped at the chance of reviewing another machine for them, and they sent me this one in exchange for a fair and impartial review.

So without letting anything out of the bag read on to find out if this one is a keeper or just a wannabee performer.

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