The MASTER is a hole stretchers dream of a dildo

Once again, I was delighted when John Thomas Toys got in touch to ask if I would like to review some of their very newest items. I didn't even have to think about it.

As this dildo was new, they had not even placed the pictures on their website before sending them to me. Because of this, I had no idea as to what to expect until a very heavy box arrived.

"You get the slight pop as the whole of the glans slide fully inside you. That is a feeling I always enjoy. As you sink more of the shaft inside, you get to enjoy the slight stretch from the widening shaft."

Joanne

Having already reviewed a selection of dildos and stretchers from John Thomas Toys, I was excited to see what their designers had created now. The names certainly did not give me any ideas.

Knowing only that they were called Master and Essex Geezer, I said yes I would love to review these for you and then I just sat back and waited for them to arrive. This review features the Master dildo.

Essex Geezer, a diamond bloke with a huge cock

I do love reviewing and get very excited when I am asked to review something before it is even advertised on the companies website.

Well, this happened again with the John Thomas Toys Essex Geezer dildo. Even though I knew the name, I had no idea what it would actually look like when I agreed to review it.

"Essex Geezer is a chap that you will want more than a one night stand with. I can understand why Essex girls always seem to have a smile on their faces now."

Joanne

If you check out their website, you will see that it's impossible to guess what a product will look like until you can see it. But one thing I knew for sure was it was going to be larger than life.

I never have long to wait for John Thomas Toys to arrive after they say they are sending me something and I could hardly contain my excitement.

They say that all good things come in threes and that is true of the Tom, Dick & Zoltok dildo

Reviewing can be hard work, but it does have its fun moments. After all, I have to play with the item before I can write an honest review.

When asked if I would like to review the Tom, Dick and Zoltock toy from John Thomas Toys. It was not even live on their website, so I had no idea what it would even look like. After thinking about it for say, um a whole 5 seconds I said yes.

"Once I wiggled it inside, I found that the three separate heads rubbed along my walls beautifully. The sensation caused was terrific, then to add the three different sides was almost like adding fuel to the fire."

Joanne

I didn't have long to wait for the delivery to arrive after being told it had been dispatched. I was so excited when the doorbell rang that I nearly beat the dog to the door lol.

I will admit to being extremely surprised at the size of the box, as it was much larger than the standard ones I have received in the past.

Meet the Dick Head, we all know one, and now you can ride one

I always love it when I hear that I am being sent a new toy to review. So when I was told that I would shortly be receiving a set of John Thomas Toys latest additions I could not wait.

With a name like "Dick Head" I just knew that this was going to be a fun one and I was right.

"If you are lucky enough, (or determined enough) to get past the head, you feel the ridge of the glans, then get to enjoy the ridges and bumps of the pulled back foreskin."

Joanne

This novel toy is a stretcher, designed to help you achieve the goal of taking bigger toys and for a size queen like me, it is perfect.

So, grab some popcorn and let me tell you all about my stretching fun with the Dick Head.

Meet the Barbarian, an extraterrestrial with an appetite

I am delighted to be letting you all know about another new John Thomas Toys Dildo. Both sub'r' and I have taken one for the team as it were to get to know this beast of a dildo.

Now while reviewing this stunning piece of silicone cock, I had a trip into hospital. That meant that sub'r' got first dibs on The Barbarian, and to my surprise, she opted for the large (good girl).

"The first and most amazing features of The Barbarian is its surface textures. They feel sublime when you thrust it in and out. The raised muscles and the snakeskin surface really do work well together creating a myriad of sensations that really get me going."

Joanne

Now the good news (for me) is that I am back on form and that meant I was also able to enjoy, and I really do mean enjoy, this silicone dildo.

So, grab a drink, sit back and get comfortable as I tell you all about The Barbarian from John Thomas Toys.

Prepare to have your holes hunted in the most delightful way

I love it when I get an email from John Thomas Toys asking if they can send me something else. I mean, come on why would I say no.

With their extensive range of body-safe silicone dildos and plugs, I am always breathless with anticipation as I wait to see what awaits my pussy and ass.

"With all these raised areas, the amount of stimulation is fantastic and very well received. Hand play with this dildo has me getting sooo wet, get it on a machine, and I am gushing."

Joanne

This time they sent me The Predator ;-) and I couldn't be more delighted.

I love my sex toys to have lots of texture on them, and The Predator definitely ticks that box, so let me tell you all about it.

The Boogeyman is about, lock your doors then spread your legs

I always love receiving something new to review in the post. So it goes without saying I was only too happy when I received some more dildos from John Thomas Toys.

For anyone who doesn't know about John Thomas Toys (where have you been hiding), they produce some fantastic dildos and plugs. The best bit is that they only use body-safe silicone for their toys which is fantastic.

"My favourite feature of this John Thomas Toys Dildo is definitely the veins. There are not lots of smaller ones, but several large pronounced veins that run down and across the shaft. With the medium firmness, these veins are reasonably rigid, with just enough squish to make them comfortable in use. The veins feel incredible against my tight walls."

Joanne

So, after grabbing a big bottle of lube, it was time to evaluate these ones to tell you all about them.

So, turn down the lights, put on some eerie music and let me tell you all about the Boogeyman Dildo.

Pervy Patrick is a dildo with some character

I was approached by John Thomas Toys to see if I would like to review their Pervy Patrick Dildo. Well, who am I to decline to review a sex toy, especially a silicone dildo with such a fun name?

I have to admit to really enjoying the John Thomas Toys dildos that I have reviewed so far with the help of my lovely submissive.

"One thing that I really like about the Pervy Patrick is the glans and its coronal ridge. The way the foreskin is retracted makes it almost look like a double coronal ridge, and this feels incredible against my g-spot."

Joanne

They are all imaginative designs with some really nice features, and I looked forward to seeing if this one would live up to its predecessors.

So read on to find out what we thought of the Pervy Patrick dildo.

The OGLIN is a dildo with lots of lovely textures

I am such a lucky reviewer, John Thomas Toys asked if I would be interested in reviewing some of their newest dildos. Of course, I jumped at the chance to experience some more of their incredible designs.

Even better than trying just one new dildo, John Thomas Toys sent me three designs to review. Yes, you read that right, three designs and all four sizes of each.

"The thinner tip makes taking the head easy, and the glans stand out enough to make it almost pop as it fully enters you. Then you feel the first ridge, each one on the firm blend (which is the blend I was sent if you are wondering), are slightly squishy. This means they are soft enough to enter smoothly but firm enough to feel great once they are inside you."

Joanne

Needless to say, the box when it arrived was huge, and it weighed a tonne. It was time to get the sack trolley to work to get these fantastic dildos to my office for photos. I then choose which ones I am going to take home to play with before doing the video review. Of course, it was only fair that sub'r' got her pick too.

Having just reviewed Spock's Cock, and the Parasite, it was on to the final in this batch of interestingly named fantasy dildos, the OGLIN. So let me tell you all about this silicone masterpiece.

The PARASITE dildo is enough to give you the 'Shivers'

I'm such a lucky reviewer, John Thomas Toys asked if I would be interested in reviewing some of their newest dildos. Of course, I jumped at the chance to experience some more of their incredible designs.

Even better than trying just one new dildo, John Thomas Toys sent me three designs to review. Yes, you read that right, three designs and all four sizes of each.

"I found this would hit my g-spot just right. I did not feel challenged by the head of the dildo, but I did still have that lovely feeling of being full. I could feel every bump, ripple and vein when I was fucking myself with this dildo."

Joanne

Needless to say, the box when it arrived was huge, and it weighed a tonne.

Having just reviewed Spock's Cock, it was on to the interestingly named fantasy dildo, the PARASITE. So let me tell you all about this silicone masterpiece.

Forget Live Long & Prosper, Live Fast & Kinky

I was delighted when John Thomas Toys asked me if I would be interested in reviewing a few more of their silicone dildos. Of course, I was not going to say no.

They not only sent me all four of the Spock's Cock dildo design and that is what I am reviewing here today, but they sent me the Oglin and the Parasite too. Lucky me - Woohoo!

"But it isn't just me who has been enjoying Spock's Cock, the lovely sub'r' has been enjoying the small and medium. Let's just say using them on a fucking machine in her shaven pussy looks and sounded amazing. The sight of her cumming hard while being ploughed by Spock's Cock was incredibly exciting."

Joanne

Check out their site as they have a new range of silicone male masturbators too that look fantastic.

So, let me get on with the review and tell you all about Spock's Cock.

Take your fingering fun to the next level

While in lockdown, the days can be very long and very dull. With lots of worrying thoughts, I needed something to take my mind of the current problems beyond my front door.

My prayers were answered when another package arrived from John Thomas Toys. I immediately knew who it was from for two reasons, firstly its size and secondly its considerable weight.

"I love the feeling of the fingers sliding inside, the fingers are flexible and so with some added pressure, in the right place, you can bend them to hit your g-spot. It also allows for your partner to finger or fuck one hole while this dildo fucks the other."

Joanne

I could hardly contain my excitement when I opened the box to find four more silicone dildos to try out and review.

I was delighted to have something to occupy my mind, hands and of course, other parts of my anatomy. So read on to find out what I thought of the John Thomas Toys The Extremity Silicone Dildo.

Another fine example of dick-smithing from Sinnovator

With the Coronavirus lockdown, I was starting to get worried that I would run out of items to review. Not having a queue of lovely sex toys to keep me amused would have been devastating.

Luckily for me, Uberkinky were kind enough to send me one of their Sinnovator range of dildos to review. I was delighted when they said they were sending me one with a vac-u-lock hole in the base.

"The veins add stimulation that really does help to send you over the edge. If you are lucky, you can get this dildo in deep enough to allow the balls to slap against you, which again feels wonderful."

Joanne

Uberkinky is still shipping out orders during the lockdown, which is fantastic for anyone currently bored and looking for a way of brightening up their sex life.

When the Sinnovator Sean arrived I was more than delighted when I laid my eyes upon it, so let me tell you all about this body-safe dildo.

The Don, a name with Mafia connotations brings a whole new meaning to "kissing his ring"

I get so excited when John Thomas Toys let me know that another new box is on the way to me.

The dildos and plugs that I have reviewed for them so far are all fantastic, I know that I won't be disappointed with anything they send this way to review.

"I really enjoy the way the girth fills out, and the whole feel of the veins and ridge on the shaft create fantastic stimulation together with the drag of the silicone blend."

Joanne

This time was certainly no different, another hefty box meant another four new dildos to review.

I was thrilled when I opened the box to find all four of The Don dildos nestled inside. So after enjoying myself with The Don and in particular making sub'r' enjoy one on the end of a fucking machine, it's time to write up our thoughts.

The Alien Hooligan Dildo gives me thoughts of the dancing elephants from Fantasia

Once again, I was delighted when a package arrived from John Thomas Toys, creators of some stunning silicone dicks and plugs.

Excited as I was, I wasn't prepared for just how amazing the contents of the box looked once I had ripped it open.

"The Alien Hooligan comes into its own on a fucking machine or secured firmly with the included vac-u-lock suction cup adaptor. On a fucking machine, you can just lay back and focus on the sensations that the veins and that head generate."

Joanne

Inside I found four Alien Hooligan Dildos in stunning baby blue coloured silicone complete with their storage bags and a suction cup vac-u-lock adaptor.

After spending lots of 'intimate time' with the Alien Hooligan range of dildos along with my delightful submissive, the lovely sub'r', we are ready to give our opinion of this out of this world dildo from John Thomas Toys. So, read on to find out more about this lovely creation.

A novel design that is good for any orifice, front or rear

The arrival of a new sex toy to review always fills me with excitement but it isn't often that I am also filled with a sense of nervous anticipation as well. But that was the case when these big boys arrived from John Thomas Toys.

It isn't often that I get sent anal play toys, of shall we say, this magnitude. My comfort zone is a medium butt plug. Luckily though I'm fortunate to have a very anally talented female submissive, the lovely sub'r' so you can guess who took on the job of trying these behemoths out.

"I used the small one on the lovely sub'r' first vaginally and then in her ass. The sight of it disappearing into her was mesmerising. The sounds coming out of her when we used a fucking machine on her ass were almost animal."

Joanne

So with a nervous look in her eye, she agreed to take one for the team, which is an excellent job as I would have been stuck with having to squeeze them into my own butt.

I decided to tackle some of the bigger ones vaginally while sub'r' got to test out the anal pleasure these can bring. So let me tell you all about the Anal Probe Dildos in all their eye-wateringly immense glory.

Don't be bullied by this lovely silicone didlo, put it in its place ;-)

You can imagine my excitement when yet another delivery arrived from John Thomas Toys. I was sent another lovely set of lovely silicone dicks for me to use and abuse, all in the name of reviewing science, of course.

This is the third dildo design that I have reviewed for John Thomas Toys, and it's another cracker, or should that be crack stuffer? There are links at the bottom of this review to the others.

"The shaft carries some beautiful vein details that provide extra stimulation as you thrust. The base of the dildo features a vac-u-lock hole for the included suction cup adaptor. You can, of course, opt to fit this dildo to a fucking machine or strap-on harness for lots of kinky fun."

Joanne

My first impressions of the new Billy Bunter dildo were excellent. I could hardly contain my excitement, and it wasn't long before I was enjoying them.

So please sit back, grab some popcorn and let me tell you all about the Billy Bunter body-safe silicone dildo range.

An adaptor kit with vagina and penis owners in mind

Hismith has been rocking the boat in the world of fucking machines. They have come up with some very lovely designs with great features and fantastic performance.

So, in December, when I received a package from them containing not just a fucking machine but also two attachment kits, you can understand my excitement.

"This is another fantastic attachment set, a lot of thought has gone into the selection of the adaptors. With it, you can pretty much mount anything to your machine."

Joanne

I have already reviewed the Pro Traveler KlicLok Sex Machine and the Attachment Kit For Females. It's now time to share my opinion of the Expansion Set For Men & Women, or penis and vagina owners.

So, let me tell you what you get with this expansion set and why it is good value for money.

A fantastic adaptor kit with vagina owners in mind

In December I was sent a HiSmith Pro Traveler KlicLok Sex Machine to review and along with it I received two adaptor sets (this one and the Lovers kit).

This is a review of the Expansion Set For Women.

"This is a great little attachment set that has had a lot of thought put into it. Each of the five attachments is useful, it isn't a case of a couple and others thrown in to bulk the set out."

Joanne

It is an expansion kit that contains lots of extra attachments so that you can mount some of your favourite sex toys on the business end of your fucking machine.

So let me tell you all about what you get in this expansion kit and what it will allow you to do.

A silicone dildo that will light up your masturbation sessions

Having recently really enjoyed reviewing the fantastic BEASTLI silicone dildo from John Thomas Toys, I jumped at the chance to review another.

When they got in touch saying they had an unusual dildo that I might enjoy, I have to admit being immediately curious and hooked. I hastily agreed, and they sent me the entire range of four Cleopatra's Candles.

"It's sort of like a Rubik's Cube for your pussy to try to solve. Wiggling back and forth getting the angle just right so it pops into you is a lot of fun, and it takes your breath away when it suddenly slides in."

Joanne

Yes, you read that right 'candles'. This is a dildo designed to look just like a candle, complete with wax running down the sides to give it some nice textures.

I could hardly contain my excitement when the doorbell rang with this latest batch of dildos from John Thomas Toys, so let me tell you all about them.

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