Dildo Reviews - Joanne's Sex Machine Reviews

Beowulf Silicone Dildo Review From Hankeys Toys

The Beowulf is a silicone dildo of beastly proportions

I have long been a fan of Hankeys Toys, their silicone delights are a sight to behold. With a reputation for larger than life dildos, they are a size queens dream.

I was therefore delighted when they got in touch with me asking if I would like to review the Beowulf for them as well as two of their new XS range of dildos.

"It just gets better and better as you slide more inside with each inch of this dildo opening you up wider and wider until you feel you can't take any more."

Joanne

As you can well imagine, it didn't take me long to decide on how to reply, the chance to enjoy some Hankeys Silicone is not to be missed.

So after a short wait, the doorbell rang, and I went to receive a box of dicks from the courier. Many bottles of lube later, I am ready to tell you all about the Beowulf and what I think of it. So read on to how I got on with it.

I'm Going To Be Reviewing Some More Mr Hankeys Toys Dildos

I can't wait to play with the XS Dragon, XS BFG and Beowulf dildos

I am squealing with anticipation as Mr Hankey is sending me three new dildos to review. I absolutely adore his creations, and my pussy has already had the pleasure of these fantastic dildos:

Mr Hankeys Toys specialise in stunningly detailed body-safe silicone dildos in sizes that will tax any size queen out there. His dildos look amazing but are a real challenge filling you to the brin like no others.

I am excited to be reviewing two dildos from his XS range. Now XS (extra small) from any other dildo manufacturer would be tiny, but Mr Hankeys XS dildos are still big and filling.

Uberrime Night King Fantasy Dildo Fire & Ice Colours

A fantastic fantasy dildo, have some Night King fun as winter is coming

I'm so pleased to have been given the opportunity to review the Uberrime Night King Fantasy Dildo Fire & Ice edition. This ladies and gentlemen is a dildo that went beyond my expectations.

From its stunning colours blending their way down its shaft to the deliciously rich textures, it is made for pleasure.

"When drawn over my clitoris, each ridge sends sparks through me that quickly have my free hand clawing at the sheets. A combination of clit play and deep penetration is precisely how I love to play, and it is an easy task with the Night King Fantasy Dildo."

Joanne

With a broad base with the most sublime design on its bottom, it is also a thing of beauty.

Let me tell you why I think this dildo definitely deserves the title of King and why you should add one to your play box.

Jammy Silicone Dildo By Blush

The Jammy is a generously proportioned dildo with stunning texture

Blush Novelties are on a roll as far as I am concerned with their range of sex toys. I am loving everything I have seen and tried from them, and the Jammy is no exception.

They sent me a purple Jammy to review and from the first time I cast my eyes on it I knew that I was going to really enjoy getting to know it.

"The Jammy is a lot of fun to use, I just love its girth. I relish thicker dildos as really enjoy that feeling of being opened and stretched at the same time as I push them inside my pussy."

Joanne

Blush produce some stunning silicone dildos, and this one looks fantastic in terms of size and texture. I could hardly wait to start using it.

So let me tell you why the Jammy is a sex toy that everyone should have and enjoy.

Mr Hankeys Alien Dildo Review

Time for some alien impregnation fun and games

Picture my delight when I was asked by Sexmachines.co.uk to review a Mr Hankey's dildo for them. I adore Mr Hankey's dildos and have reviewed four of them so far, and this one will be the fifth.

Sexmachines.co.uk has a fantastic range of dildos, and they recently added the Mr Hankey range of dildos to their repertoire, but unfortuntaly they are no longer stocking them but you can buy them in the UK from CloneZoneDirect.co.uk.

"I must admit though that when I finished the dildo was in a right state. All that texture certainly picks up lots of vag-goo and so when you clean it you need to pay lots of attention to the textures on it to clean them properly."

Joanne

Mr Hankey is renowned for his incredible dildo designs that all feature fantastic detail as well as being larger than your average dildos. Indeed his dildo range is a size queens dream come true.

I couldn't wait to put the Alien Dildo to the test. So with all sorts of alien impregnation fantasies spinning in my head, I had so much fun getting to know it so read on to find out if this Alien will be a box office smash hit or nothing more than a cult B movie prop.

Eiffel Tower DIldo - La Tour est Folle Review

Get yourself on top of the Eiffel Tower for an amazing time

I do have a bit of a reputation for enjoying shall we just say "larger dildos", yes I am a size queen and love a good challenge.

I am quite proud of the ability of my Foof to tackle anything that I have so far thrown at it and so when Meo.de asked if I wanted to review their Eiffel Tower dildo you can guess what I said.

"It has a very bulbous head which you have to tackle first when inserting it. Once you get that inside you, then you can really enjoy the unique texture covering it. I love the rivest and rings down its length, they give just enough texture to feel amazing without being too much."

Joanne

This is a beast of a dildo, and I was fascinated not just by the size but the texture of it as it looked so much fun. So with my Foof's enthusiastic approval, I agreed to once again to put myself to the test - in the name of reviewing science.

Now, this is definitely not a beginners dildo but for the lover of that feeling of being totally stretched it is oh so good. So, here are my thoughts on the Eiffel Tower dildo.

Silicone Cock Skull Dildo Black

Today I'm redifining the term - getting Skull Fucked

I have long been an admirer of the wares carried by Meo.de. Having enjoyed reading many reviews of their products from some of my favourite reviewers.

So I was delighted when they agreed to let me review some products for them. With great German efficiency, the selected products soon arrived and I couldn't wait to get started. They had sent me a whole host of kinky BDSM equipment to review together with this oh so special dildo.

The lube retention coupled with the texture makes it a formidable yet enjoyable anal or vaginal sextoy.

Joanne

It's a size queens dream and it also appeals to my inner Goth. The skull at the base of it looks foreboding as well as adding a layer of dark kink.

I was sent this dildo for free in exchange of an honest review. I must admit though to under-estimating its size and my eyes popped out of my head on stalks in true comic book fashion when it arrived.

Review Of The Seahorse Dildo From Mr Hankeys Toys

This textured beast of a dildo will really make your eyes pop

As you may already know I'm a bit of a texture queen when it comes to my dildos. I like something that is going to stimulate and challenge my vagina (or my anus) when I play. So you can imagine my delight when Mr Hankey sent me this incredible looking fantasy dildo to review.

This is the toy to get if you like your texture and prefer to actually feel a toy moving in and out of your holes. Smooth toys don't give you that intense level of stimulation. You can feel and savour every bump, ridge and indentation as you thrust it in and out.

Joanne

I could hardly contain my excitement when I opened up the package to see what I had been sent to review. This has to be the weirdest and most textured object that my Foof has ever had the pleasure of tackling. I couldn't wait to get started with my review of it.

After three weeks of tackling this behemoth I'm ready to let you all know what it feels like. Together with whether or not it's worth recommending as let's face it, this is not a normal looking dildo by any stretch of your imagination.

CutlerX Silicone Dildo Review from Mr Hankeys Toys

This is the dildo that almost broke my pussy

Just when I thought I'd met my match when I reviewed the Anaconda from MrHankeysToys.com as it was shall we say a very nice and tight fit, I have yet again been given another challenge and that is in the form of the CutlerX silicone dildo. This mind-blowing dildo is actually a life-cast from the male pornstar CutlerX and to be honest I don't know how he stays conscious when he gets an erection as his penis is simply huge - as you will see in this review.

The trick is to warm up for it and to use lots and lots of lube replacing it as and when necessary. I know that a lot of guys will enjoy this one anally but it's just too big for me back there and so I'll just stick with having my pussy filled by CutlerX.

Joanne

This is the third dildo that I have reviewed for Mr Hankeys Toys and I have another one tucked away to review once my vagina recovers from its onslaught by CutlerX. So read on to find out how much I enjoyed this phallus and you can then decide if you are upto the challenge that is the CutlerX dildo.

Anaconda Silicone Dildo From Mr Hankeys Toys

The Phallic Shaped Vac-u-Lock Dildo That Will Make Your Eyes Water

After I had reviewed the Centaur Dildo from Mr Hankey's Toys I was pretty confident that I would enjoy this dildo and more importantly that it would fit inside my Foof. This is another huge dildo and it's actually the small, this dildo is designed for, well shall we just say the lover of all things "fulfilling".

It's made in the USA by proud silicone dildo creator Mr Hankey's Toys and the Anaconda is one of many amazing examples of big dildos on his site that are well worth checking out. My eyes are constantly drawn to the CutlerX - swoon. If you crave the bigger and longer dildos then this site is definitely for you, some of the designs are fantasy ones and others are incredibly realistic, this one sits between those two genres of dildo.

This is my second dildo from Mr Hankey's Toys and I am blown away by the product, some of the other dildos on his site look incredible and the CutlerX which is a life-cast dildo has definitely caught my attention and lets just say that I have a soft spot for it.

Joanne

So is this dildo with its tapered tip and squashed cross section something to rave or rage about? Read on to find out what I thought of it after spending a month getting to know it.

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