I was approached by John Thomas Toys to see if I would like to review their Pervy Patrick Dildo. Well, who am I to decline to review a sex toy, especially a silicone dildo with such a fun name?
I have to admit to really enjoying the John Thomas Toys dildos that I have reviewed so far with the help of my lovely submissive.
"One thing that I really like about the Pervy Patrick is the glans and its coronal ridge. The way the foreskin is retracted makes it almost look like a double coronal ridge, and this feels incredible against my g-spot."Joanne
They are all imaginative designs with some really nice features, and I looked forward to seeing if this one would live up to its predecessors.
So read on to find out what we thought of the Pervy Patrick dildo.
Hi, sub 'r' here again with another review, this time I am reviewing the fantastic Sampson Dildo from John Thomas Toys.
I have been really enjoying reviewing some of the dildos that John Thomas Toys has to offer recently.
"I love how full Sampson makes me feel so full, this is what I enjoy the most about big chunky toys. Sampson makes me feel very stretched open, a feeling that I adore. That stretching feeling really turns me on."sub 'r'
I was over the moon when Joanne asked me to review the Sampson for you all. I love dildos that have lots of girth and trust me Sampson has lots of that together with some fantastic features too.
This review is going to be of the medium Sampson as this is the size that best suits needs. So here's what I thought of it. I hope you enjoy my review xx.
I am such a lucky reviewer, John Thomas Toys asked if I would be interested in reviewing some of their newest dildos. Of course, I jumped at the chance to experience some more of their incredible designs.
Even better than trying just one new dildo, John Thomas Toys sent me three designs to review. Yes, you read that right, three designs and all four sizes of each.
"The thinner tip makes taking the head easy, and the glans stand out enough to make it almost pop as it fully enters you. Then you feel the first ridge, each one on the firm blend (which is the blend I was sent if you are wondering), are slightly squishy. This means they are soft enough to enter smoothly but firm enough to feel great once they are inside you."Joanne
Needless to say, the box when it arrived was huge, and it weighed a tonne. It was time to get the sack trolley to work to get these fantastic dildos to my office for photos. I then choose which ones I am going to take home to play with before doing the video review. Of course, it was only fair that sub'r' got her pick too.
Having just reviewed Spock's Cock, and the Parasite, it was on to the final in this batch of interestingly named fantasy dildos, the OGLIN. So let me tell you all about this silicone masterpiece.
I'm such a lucky reviewer, John Thomas Toys asked if I would be interested in reviewing some of their newest dildos. Of course, I jumped at the chance to experience some more of their incredible designs.
Even better than trying just one new dildo, John Thomas Toys sent me three designs to review. Yes, you read that right, three designs and all four sizes of each.
"I found this would hit my g-spot just right. I did not feel challenged by the head of the dildo, but I did still have that lovely feeling of being full. I could feel every bump, ripple and vein when I was fucking myself with this dildo."Joanne
Needless to say, the box when it arrived was huge, and it weighed a tonne.
Having just reviewed Spock's Cock, it was on to the interestingly named fantasy dildo, the PARASITE. So let me tell you all about this silicone masterpiece.
I get so excited when John Thomas Toys let me know that another new box is on the way to me.
The dildos and plugs that I have reviewed for them so far are all fantastic, I know that I won't be disappointed with anything they send this way to review.
"I really enjoy the way the girth fills out, and the whole feel of the veins and ridge on the shaft create fantastic stimulation together with the drag of the silicone blend."Joanne
This time was certainly no different, another hefty box meant another four new dildos to review.
I was thrilled when I opened the box to find all four of The Don dildos nestled inside. So after enjoying myself with The Don and in particular making sub'r' enjoy one on the end of a fucking machine, it's time to write up our thoughts.
Once again, I was delighted when a package arrived from John Thomas Toys, creators of some stunning silicone dicks and plugs.
Excited as I was, I wasn't prepared for just how amazing the contents of the box looked once I had ripped it open.
"The Alien Hooligan comes into its own on a fucking machine or secured firmly with the included vac-u-lock suction cup adaptor. On a fucking machine, you can just lay back and focus on the sensations that the veins and that head generate."Joanne
Inside I found four Alien Hooligan Dildos in stunning baby blue coloured silicone complete with their storage bags and a suction cup vac-u-lock adaptor.
After spending lots of 'intimate time' with the Alien Hooligan range of dildos along with my delightful submissive, the lovely sub'r', we are ready to give our opinion of this out of this world dildo from John Thomas Toys. So, read on to find out more about this lovely creation.
You can imagine my excitement when yet another delivery arrived from John Thomas Toys. I was sent another lovely set of lovely silicone dicks for me to use and abuse, all in the name of reviewing science, of course.
This is the third dildo design that I have reviewed for John Thomas Toys, and it's another cracker, or should that be crack stuffer? There are links at the bottom of this review to the others.
"The shaft carries some beautiful vein details that provide extra stimulation as you thrust. The base of the dildo features a vac-u-lock hole for the included suction cup adaptor. You can, of course, opt to fit this dildo to a fucking machine or strap-on harness for lots of kinky fun."Joanne
My first impressions of the new Billy Bunter dildo were excellent. I could hardly contain my excitement, and it wasn't long before I was enjoying them.
So please sit back, grab some popcorn and let me tell you all about the Billy Bunter body-safe silicone dildo range.
Having recently really enjoyed reviewing the fantastic BEASTLI silicone dildo from John Thomas Toys, I jumped at the chance to review another.
When they got in touch saying they had an unusual dildo that I might enjoy, I have to admit being immediately curious and hooked. I hastily agreed, and they sent me the entire range of four Cleopatra's Candles.
"It's sort of like a Rubik's Cube for your pussy to try to solve. Wiggling back and forth getting the angle just right so it pops into you is a lot of fun, and it takes your breath away when it suddenly slides in."Joanne
Yes, you read that right 'candles'. This is a dildo designed to look just like a candle, complete with wax running down the sides to give it some nice textures.
I could hardly contain my excitement when the doorbell rang with this latest batch of dildos from John Thomas Toys, so let me tell you all about them.
Well, it isn't often that I get approached by a completely new sex toy manufacturer that are producing the kind of dildos that I love right here in the UK.
To say I was delighted when John Thomas Toys got in touch would be an understatement. They wanted me to review one of their newest creations, the Beastli Platinum Silicone Dildo.
"Both sub'r' and I have had a lot of fun getting to know the Beastli dildos with her enjoying the small and as I like a challenge I have been using the medium and the large (that was a squeeze I can tell you)."Joanne
I obviously jumped at the chance to get my hands (and other parts of my anatomy) on these fantastic looking silicone fantasy dildos packed with really pronounced textures.
Looking like a cross between a Size Queen and a Texture Queens wettest dream, I could hardly contain my excitement as I waited for them to arrive.
It appears that several sex toy companies have concluded that my pussy loves large fantasy silicone dildos. No complaints from me though, as that's a pretty accurate assessment of my pussies dietary needs.
So when Uberkinky sent me this beautifully sculpted 100% platinum silicone Sinnovator Typhon dildo I was over the moon.
"The Typhon from Sinnovator is a dildo that will challenge you to take more and more. Indeed you will always want to take just a little bit more as it stretches you wide open. It awakens carnal instincts in me, and I love riding this beast of a dildo."Joanne
Silicone dildos are one of my favourite types of sex toys, and when a stunning dildo like this one from a new manufacturer arrives in the post, you can be sure that it makes my day.
So after spending a few weeks getting to know the Sinnovator Typhon, here are my thoughts on it.
I have long been a fan of Hankeys Toys, their silicone delights are a sight to behold. With a reputation for larger than life dildos, they are a size queens dream.
I was therefore delighted when they got in touch with me asking if I would like to review the Beowulf for them as well as two of their new XS range of dildos.
"It just gets better and better as you slide more inside with each inch of this dildo opening you up wider and wider until you feel you can't take any more."Joanne
As you can well imagine, it didn't take me long to decide on how to reply, the chance to enjoy some Hankeys Silicone is not to be missed.
So after a short wait, the doorbell rang, and I went to receive a box of dicks from the courier. Many bottles of lube later, I am ready to tell you all about the Beowulf and what I think of it. So read on to how I got on with it.
I am squealing with anticipation as Mr Hankey is sending me three new dildos to review. I absolutely adore his creations, and my pussy has already had the pleasure of these fantastic dildos:
Mr Hankeys Toys specialise in stunningly detailed body-safe silicone dildos in sizes that will tax any size queen out there. His dildos look amazing but are a real challenge filling you to the brin like no others.
I am excited to be reviewing two dildos from his XS range. Now XS (extra small) from any other dildo manufacturer would be tiny, but Mr Hankeys XS dildos are still big and filling.
I'm so pleased to have been given the opportunity to review the Uberrime Night King Fantasy Dildo Fire & Ice edition. This ladies and gentlemen is a dildo that went beyond my expectations.
From its stunning colours blending their way down its shaft to the deliciously rich textures, it is made for pleasure.
"When drawn over my clitoris, each ridge sends sparks through me that quickly have my free hand clawing at the sheets. A combination of clit play and deep penetration is precisely how I love to play, and it is an easy task with the Night King Fantasy Dildo."Joanne
With a broad base with the most sublime design on its bottom, it is also a thing of beauty.
Let me tell you why I think this dildo definitely deserves the title of King and why you should add one to your play box.
Blush Novelties are on a roll as far as I am concerned with their range of sex toys. I am loving everything I have seen and tried from them, and the Jammy is no exception.
They sent me a purple Jammy to review and from the first time I cast my eyes on it I knew that I was going to really enjoy getting to know it.
"The Jammy is a lot of fun to use, I just love its girth. I relish thicker dildos as really enjoy that feeling of being opened and stretched at the same time as I push them inside my pussy."Joanne
Blush produce some stunning silicone dildos, and this one looks fantastic in terms of size and texture. I could hardly wait to start using it.
So let me tell you why the Jammy is a sex toy that everyone should have and enjoy.
Picture my delight when I was asked by Sexmachines.co.uk to review a Mr Hankey's dildo for them. I adore Mr Hankey's dildos and have reviewed four of them so far, and this one will be the fifth.
Sexmachines.co.uk has a fantastic range of dildos, and they recently added the Mr Hankey range of dildos to their repertoire, but unfortuntaly they are no longer stocking them but you can buy them in the UK from CloneZoneDirect.co.uk.
"I must admit though that when I finished the dildo was in a right state. All that texture certainly picks up lots of vag-goo and so when you clean it you need to pay lots of attention to the textures on it to clean them properly."Joanne
Mr Hankey is renowned for his incredible dildo designs that all feature fantastic detail as well as being larger than your average dildos. Indeed his dildo range is a size queens dream come true.
I couldn't wait to put the Alien Dildo to the test. So with all sorts of alien impregnation fantasies spinning in my head, I had so much fun getting to know it so read on to find out if this Alien will be a box office smash hit or nothing more than a cult B movie prop.
I do have a bit of a reputation for enjoying shall we just say "larger dildos", yes I am a size queen and love a good challenge.
I am quite proud of the ability of my Foof to tackle anything that I have so far thrown at it and so when Meo.de asked if I wanted to review their Eiffel Tower dildo you can guess what I said.
"It has a very bulbous head which you have to tackle first when inserting it. Once you get that inside you, then you can really enjoy the unique texture covering it. I love the rivest and rings down its length, they give just enough texture to feel amazing without being too much."Joanne
This is a beast of a dildo, and I was fascinated not just by the size but the texture of it as it looked so much fun. So with my Foof's enthusiastic approval, I agreed to once again to put myself to the test - in the name of reviewing science.
Now, this is definitely not a beginners dildo but for the lover of that feeling of being totally stretched it is oh so good. So, here are my thoughts on the Eiffel Tower dildo.
I have long been an admirer of the wares carried by Meo.de. Having enjoyed reading many reviews of their products from some of my favourite reviewers.
So I was delighted when they agreed to let me review some products for them. With great German efficiency, the selected products soon arrived and I couldn't wait to get started. They had sent me a whole host of kinky BDSM equipment to review together with this oh so special dildo.
The lube retention coupled with the texture makes it a formidable yet enjoyable anal or vaginal sextoy.Joanne
It's a size queens dream and it also appeals to my inner Goth. The skull at the base of it looks foreboding as well as adding a layer of dark kink.
I was sent this dildo for free in exchange of an honest review. I must admit though to under-estimating its size and my eyes popped out of my head on stalks in true comic book fashion when it arrived.
As you may already know I'm a bit of a texture queen when it comes to my dildos. I like something that is going to stimulate and challenge my vagina (or my anus) when I play. So you can imagine my delight when Mr Hankey sent me this incredible looking fantasy dildo to review.
This is the toy to get if you like your texture and prefer to actually feel a toy moving in and out of your holes. Smooth toys don't give you that intense level of stimulation. You can feel and savour every bump, ridge and indentation as you thrust it in and out.Joanne
I could hardly contain my excitement when I opened up the package to see what I had been sent to review. This has to be the weirdest and most textured object that my Foof has ever had the pleasure of tackling. I couldn't wait to get started with my review of it.
After three weeks of tackling this behemoth I'm ready to let you all know what it feels like. Together with whether or not it's worth recommending as let's face it, this is not a normal looking dildo by any stretch of your imagination.
Just when I thought I'd met my match when I reviewed the Anaconda from MrHankeysToys.com as it was shall we say a very nice and tight fit, I have yet again been given another challenge and that is in the form of the CutlerX silicone dildo. This mind-blowing dildo is actually a life-cast from the male pornstar CutlerX and to be honest I don't know how he stays conscious when he gets an erection as his penis is simply huge - as you will see in this review.
The trick is to warm up for it and to use lots and lots of lube replacing it as and when necessary. I know that a lot of guys will enjoy this one anally but it's just too big for me back there and so I'll just stick with having my pussy filled by CutlerX.Joanne
This is the third dildo that I have reviewed for Mr Hankeys Toys and I have another one tucked away to review once my vagina recovers from its onslaught by CutlerX. So read on to find out how much I enjoyed this phallus and you can then decide if you are upto the challenge that is the CutlerX dildo.
After I had reviewed the Centaur Dildo from Mr Hankey's Toys I was pretty confident that I would enjoy this dildo and more importantly that it would fit inside my Foof. This is another huge dildo and it's actually the small, this dildo is designed for, well shall we just say the lover of all things "fulfilling".
It's made in the USA by proud silicone dildo creator Mr Hankey's Toys and the Anaconda is one of many amazing examples of big dildos on his site that are well worth checking out. My eyes are constantly drawn to the CutlerX - swoon. If you crave the bigger and longer dildos then this site is definitely for you, some of the designs are fantasy ones and others are incredibly realistic, this one sits between those two genres of dildo.
This is my second dildo from Mr Hankey's Toys and I am blown away by the product, some of the other dildos on his site look incredible and the CutlerX which is a life-cast dildo has definitely caught my attention and lets just say that I have a soft spot for it.Joanne
So is this dildo with its tapered tip and squashed cross section something to rave or rage about? Read on to find out what I thought of it after spending a month getting to know it.
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