The arrival of a new sex toy to review always fills me with excitement but it isn't often that I am also filled with a sense of nervous anticipation as well. But that was the case when these big boys arrived from John Thomas Toys.
It isn't often that I get sent anal play toys, of shall we say, this magnitude. My comfort zone is a medium butt plug. Luckily though I'm fortunate to have a very anally talented female submissive, the lovely sub'r' so you can guess who took on the job of trying these behemoths out.
"I used the small one on the lovely sub'r' first vaginally and then in her ass. The sight of it disappearing into her was mesmerising. The sounds coming out of her when we used a fucking machine on her ass were almost animal."Joanne
So with a nervous look in her eye, she agreed to take one for the team, which is an excellent job as I would have been stuck with having to squeeze them into my own butt.
I decided to tackle some of the bigger ones vaginally while sub'r' got to test out the anal pleasure these can bring. So let me tell you all about the Anal Probe Dildos in all their eye-wateringly immense glory.
You can imagine my excitement when yet another delivery arrived from John Thomas Toys. I was sent another lovely set of lovely silicone dicks for me to use and abuse, all in the name of reviewing science, of course.
This is the third dildo design that I have reviewed for John Thomas Toys, and it's another cracker, or should that be crack stuffer? There are links at the bottom of this review to the others.
"The shaft carries some beautiful vein details that provide extra stimulation as you thrust. The base of the dildo features a vac-u-lock hole for the included suction cup adaptor. You can, of course, opt to fit this dildo to a fucking machine or strap-on harness for lots of kinky fun."Joanne
My first impressions of the new Billy Bunter dildo were excellent. I could hardly contain my excitement, and it wasn't long before I was enjoying them.
So please sit back, grab some popcorn and let me tell you all about the Billy Bunter body-safe silicone dildo range.
I love reviewing new toys and was thrilled when we were given a We-Vibe Moxie vibrator at Erofame.
We were asked to try it and review it, and of course, that is what we enjoy doing.
"When out I would either turn it down or pause the vibrations when someone stood close by, although once or twice I pretended it was my phone vibrating :-). I did find a sneaky way of adding pressure was to sit on a padded chair and tilt my pelvis to be able to push myself against the padding Mmmmm."Joanne
Having reviewed other remote control vibrators before I was looking forward to trying out this panty vibe.
This small intimate clit vibe looks unassuming and straightforward, but how does it perform? If you want to find out what I think about the little vibe, then read on.
While visiting Erofame in Hannover, Germany last year we were lucky enough to be handed some Uberlube to review.
We were given some samples along with a Good-To-Go Traveller Kit together with a 50ml Uberlube Bottle and some sample sachets and bottles.
"I now use it (a lot) due to its long-lasting properties. I especially enjoy using it when enjoying my fucking machines where I need an effective lube that will last. High-speed fucking sessions are so much fun with Uberlube."Joanne
This is a silicone-based lubricant that actually has some surprising features and uses. Having used it for three months now, I am confident enough in its performance to tell you all about it.
Now, as "Über" is German for over or above, I had high hopes for Überlube. So let me tell you why I like this lube and why I love it, especially for my butt plugs and sex machines.
When I was approached by Dreamlove to review a new clitoral stimulator before it has even been released in the UK, I was thrilled. So, of course, I jumped at the chance.
What is it? Well, it is a very nicely proportioned clitoral suction vibrator. It is new onto the market, and I couldn't wait to get my hands (and other bits) on it.
"I enjoyed playing with the vibrations to start with, then would switch to the suction for a while, before switching again. I found by changing back and forth I could fully enjoy the Shushu and prolong the fun I was experiencing."Joanne
It arrived quickly and safely packed securely in a plain box. As it has not been released yet, it came wrapped in paper and decorated with a bow, placed in a sealed gift bag. Having no product packaging, I not able to comment on the retail packaging in this review but I have obtained a picture of it for you all.
No doubt you are all more interested in how it performs though rather than what it arrives in. So here are my thoughts on the Ritual Shushu toy itself, please read on...
I always get super excited when Gvibe tell me they are sending me something in the post, and I was thrilled when I opened the box to find the new Gcandy.
I have reviewed lots of vibrators and but plugs from Gvibe, and I am always impressed by them, heck even the packaging gets my juices flowing.
"As a texture queen, I really enjoyed the deep ridges. They create genuinely great sensations when thrusting it in and out. While the soft texture allows you to squeeze the shaft without the discomfort, you might have with a solid toy. The silky feel of the silicone means that it slides in easily with only a small amount of water-based lube needed until your natural lubricants take over."Joanne
In a market place saturated with rabbit style vibes, I hoped that Gvibe would once again not disappoint.
So, read on to find out what I think of the Gcandy.
I still use it as a paperweight on my work desk, and it has raised some awkward questions on several occasions.
"I loved having it used on me, and I have used it a couple of times on my own now, and it does the job. Obviously having sub'r' utilising a cast of her own pussy on my cock was the highlight."Stunt Cock
Clone-a-pussy saw one of my social media posts about their kits, and they got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing one of their Plus+ kits.
Intrigued, I said yes, of course. I decided rather than clone my own pussy again, I would use this kit to clone my submissives pussy. I would then turn it into a masturbator for my partner to enjoy. So let's get cracking on this rather unusual review of this fun kit.
As a lover of sex and fucking machines, I do like to keep myself abreast of developments in the market place where both are concerned. HiSmith is a dutch based company that I have long had my eyes upon. They are creating some fantastic looking fucking machines that are receiving excellent comments and feedback.
I have met them a couple of times at trade shows, where I was blown away by their range of machines. I was therefore delighted when they got in touch to ask if I would give their latest fucking machine a thorough reviewing.
"It spent five days at Eurodisney helping sub'r' to get over hard days of walking and enjoying herself. I can attest that it is perfect for anyone considering taking a fucking machine on holiday."Joanne
Well, as you can imagine, I jumped at the chance, this is a fucking machine designed with travelling in mind. As luck would have it, I was about to send my Stunt Cock to EuroDisney with sub'r' for her birthday. So, it was the perfect opportunity to put this "traveler" to the test. No doubt they are both going straight to hell for using a fucking machine at Mickey Mouseland but live life to the full I say.
After taking this fucking machine on a real holiday and having used it myself upon their return, it is time to write up my thoughts about it. So, without further ado, here are my thoughts on the HiSmith Pro Traveler KlicLok Sex Machine.
Having recently really enjoyed reviewing the fantastic BEASTLI silicone dildo from John Thomas Toys, I jumped at the chance to review another.
When they got in touch saying they had an unusual dildo that I might enjoy, I have to admit being immediately curious and hooked. I hastily agreed, and they sent me the entire range of four Cleopatra's Candles.
"It's sort of like a Rubik's Cube for your pussy to try to solve. Wiggling back and forth getting the angle just right so it pops into you is a lot of fun, and it takes your breath away when it suddenly slides in."Joanne
Yes, you read that right 'candles'. This is a dildo designed to look just like a candle, complete with wax running down the sides to give it some nice textures.
I could hardly contain my excitement when the doorbell rang with this latest batch of dildos from John Thomas Toys, so let me tell you all about them.
You know it's a good day when a new rampant rabbit vibrator arrives through the postbox from Ann Summers.
They sent me the Moregasm+ Petite Rampant Rabbit, and my submissive fell in love with it when she saw it. Like me, she just loves rabbit vibrators, and so I decided that this review was going to be hers to write.
"You can use a rabbit is all sorts of positions, I like to lay on my side and insert it before clamping my thighs together to hold it in place. If I then thrust my hips, I can vary the penetration and also the pressure on my clitoris to good effect."sub'r'
She has now spent a few weeks getting to know the vibrator purely for reviewing purposes. I am sure she hasn't been enjoying herself too much.
She was, of course, delighted to be able to write another review on here for me. So without further ado, this is what sub'r' thought of this modestly proportioned rabbit vibe.
Well, it isn't often that I get approached by a completely new sex toy manufacturer that are producing the kind of dildos that I love right here in the UK.
To say I was delighted when John Thomas Toys got in touch would be an understatement. They wanted me to review one of their newest creations, the Beastli Platinum Silicone Dildo.
"Both sub'r' and I have had a lot of fun getting to know the Beastli dildos with her enjoying the small and as I like a challenge I have been using the medium and the large (that was a squeeze I can tell you)."Joanne
I obviously jumped at the chance to get my hands (and other parts of my anatomy) on these fantastic looking silicone fantasy dildos packed with really pronounced textures.
Looking like a cross between a Size Queen and a Texture Queens wettest dream, I could hardly contain my excitement as I waited for them to arrive.
It appears that several sex toy companies have concluded that my pussy loves large fantasy silicone dildos. No complaints from me though, as that's a pretty accurate assessment of my pussies dietary needs.
So when Uberkinky sent me this beautifully sculpted 100% platinum silicone Sinnovator Typhon dildo I was over the moon.
"The Typhon from Sinnovator is a dildo that will challenge you to take more and more. Indeed you will always want to take just a little bit more as it stretches you wide open. It awakens carnal instincts in me, and I love riding this beast of a dildo."Joanne
Silicone dildos are one of my favourite types of sex toys, and when a stunning dildo like this one from a new manufacturer arrives in the post, you can be sure that it makes my day.
So after spending a few weeks getting to know the Sinnovator Typhon, here are my thoughts on it.
I love Hankey's Toys silicone dildos, they are famous for being incredibly detailed and also larger than life. Fantastic for size queens or anyone wanting to stretch and train for huge dildos.
Recently they brought out their XS range of nine of their most popular dildos, shrunk down to more modest proportions. That means more people than ever before can enjoy the delights of Hankey's Toys.
"I can't take it anally but sub'r' loved the texture in her backside too and fucking her with a strap-on harness like that was very exciting. She also loves sucking on it deeply stating that every sub should be able to deep throat any cock. I have to admire her conviction on that is this is a really girthy dildo."Joanne
I was sent two dildos from the XS collection, this one and the XS BFG. After enjoying them myself, I sent the Dragon dildo to my submissive for her comments on this cracking little dildo.
So this review is a combination of both of our thoughts on this very nicely textured dildo. Read on to find out what we thought if it.
Stimulate your pussy and clit with the Moregasm+ Boost Rampant Rabbit from Ann Summers. I love it when I get asked to review rabbit vibrators, and so I jumped at the chance to review this one when Ann Summers asked.
Vibrators like this do get my juices flowing, as I love to feel the vibrations inside and out. I find internal and clitoral stimulations delightful so rabbit vibes work well for me.
"The curve of the toy means that it is not only easy to slide in and out, but with a small change of angle, it hits the g-spot amazingly well."Joanne
I didn't have to wait long for it to arrive and I couldn't wait to try it out. The first thing I did after taking the pictures was to charge it ready to play before jumping into bed with a bottle of lube and this rabbit.
So, read on to find out what I think of this particular rabbit vibe.
I am so excited to be revealing this review to the world. You see, I have never seen a gold plated vibrator before in my life, so I was blown away by this one.
So before I get all giddy, let me fill you in on the background to reviewing this sex toy. In ealry October, I sent my partner and our submissive to Erofame to represent me, and they dropped by the stand of one of my favourite companies Gvibe.
"The Gmini Gold is not only a fantastic looking vibrator, something that "Gold Member" from Austin Powers would no doubt love, it also performs very well, indeed."Joanne
Anyway to cut a long story short, sub'r' won a Gvibe T-shirt in a fun game involving some dildos and a Nerf gun - nice. She was also presented with a limited edition 24kt Gvibe MINI GOLD to review, and as you can imagine, she still can't wipe the smile off her face.
So read on to find out how sub'r' got on with the most expensive vibrator that either of us has ever seen or used. Would it be a golden opportunity for some incredible orgasms, or would it turn out to be fools-gold? Read on to find out.
I love dildos that have lots of textures, and so does sub'r'. We both relish the delightful sensations that they generate as you thrust them in and out of any waiting orifice.
We were both delighted when Mr Hankey sent us something from the new Xtra-Small Series. It was the BFG which is a silicone dildo covered in delightful textures.
"Thrusting with it is sublime. The combination of the textures, changes in diameter and the constant pressure on my g-spot means I can get myself off quickly with the BFG. I also enjoy long slow lady-wanks with it too, it is a very versatile dildo."sub 'r'
The BFG is more commonly known as the Big Fucking Genital. It is available in four huge sizes as well as this more modestly proportioned one.
The Xtra-Small Series is fantastic as it opens up the great Mr Hankeys designs to a broader audience, so let me tell you how much fun this dildo can be.
I am such a lucky reviewer. Ann Summers sent me two of their latest vibrators to review, and this is the second one. I also had a lot of fun reviewing their Whisper Bullet Vibrator, which has just been released as well.
Like its cousin, this one comes in a delightful storage bag that I adore.
"For a rabbit that is compact as this one, it is surprisingly powerful. I love the way that you can set different power levels in each motor, and these can combine to deliver some serious pleasure."Joanne
Now, everyone likes some rabbit time, and I really enjoy rabbit vibes, so I was excited to get to grips with this one.
It is nice and compact, not at all like some of the larger rabbits that can often be offputting to anyone new to sex toys. So, let me tell you all about the Whisper Rabbit Petite Vibe.
I was delighted when Ann Summers sent me one of their newest vibrators to review before its launch. It is so lovely to be one of the first people to try out a new toy.
They sent me two vibrators to review, this one, the Whisper Vibrator and also the Whisper Rabbit Vibrator.
"I really like pressing the tip on my clitoris and relishing the deep vibrations, circling it also feel great too. I also tend to "dip" when using bullet vibes. As the clitoral stimulation becomes almost too much, I push the vibe into my vagina to enjoy some deeper vibrations."Joanne
I decided to review the bullet vibe myself and have let my sexy submissive review the rabbit vibe as she adores rabbits.
So after a couple of weeks playing with this one, I'm ready to tell you how I got on with it. So, sit back and let me tell you all about the Ann Summers Whisper Vibrator.
Woohoo! I have found another fantastic purveyor of silicone pleasure stick (dildos) that produces some fabulous creations.
I have been fortunate to have been able to recently run a competition to win one of their fantastic creations, the Silicone Anteros Dildo.
"Slowly thrusting with the Rhea feels divine, but it is when you really give yourself a hard pounding that you really enjoy the combination of girth changes and texture."Joanne
Now when Ylva & Dite sent me that dildo to giveaway in a competition, they also sent me another sublime dildo to review and this one in the Rhea.
So read on to find out about this fabulous company and their creations. In particular, how my pussy got on with the Rhea silicone dildo.
I love my So Divine sex toys. So I was delighted when they got in touch with me asking if I would review their new Black Juju real feel silicone dildo for them.
Result, I love silicone dildos for the reasons stated later in this review, and I looked forward to receiving and reviewing this lovely looking phallus.
"When masturbating, I like to be filled even if just rubbing my clitoris. I love having something inside me to clamp down upon as I orgasm and the Black Juju is perfect for this role."Joanne
I didn't have long to wait, and I set about getting to know my new silicone friend in the biblical sense, of course.
So read on to find out how my pussy got on with the Black Juju dildo.
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