Displaying items by tag: Fucking Machine

S2 Machine Gun Sex Machine

Another machine that proves the adage that you get what you pay for

Having recently reviewed the S1 Cheap Sex Machine Bundle for sexmachines.co.uk I was excited to see another machine arrive in the post.

This time it was one of the Machine Gun style fucking machines, the S2. I have heard lots of things about this type of device, unfortunately, none of it has been good.

"I did think the sticker on the side of the machine was almost as funny as the instructions, apparently, it's a Happiness Browser."

Joanne

I often get e-mails from people who own one asking if they are doing something wrong when setting it up, so it was nice to finally get my hands on one of them to see it for myself.

Unfortunately, this is going to be a review that may sound a little whiney as it was challenging to find any positives about this machine. So with a weary heart, it is on with the review.

S1 Cheap Sex Machine Bundle

A sub £50 fucking machine sounds too good to be true

I do enjoy my fucking machines and have quite a bit of experience with them now. I always relish the opportunity to try new ones out as that gives me an excellent opportunity to compare their features and performance with others that I have enjoyed.

Fucking machine reviews are so much fun to write, as usually, you can pretty much guarantee a good time while getting to know them (in the name of science of course).

That is, they are usually fun to write, this review is a little different as you will see. The problem with writing reviews is that sooner or later something is going to land on your lap (or between your legs in this case) that really stretches your ability to give it a fair evaluation.

The S1 Cheap Sex Machine is one such product, so settle back with a cup of coffee and a biscuit and let me tell you why I will not be recommending this particular cheap sex machine.

The Probe And Probe Beast Fucking Machines From Orgasm Alley

It's nice to see these fucking machines in the UK with sexmachines.co.uk

It isn't very often that I get asked to review two (yes you read that right) fucking machines at the same time. So you can imagine my excitement when Dave from Sexmachines.co.uk asked me to give him my opinion of the Probe and Probe Beast from Orgasm Alley in the USA.

These are two machines that I have often lusted over and have heard a lot about, and so it was fantastic to be given the opportunity to be able to get my hands on them.

"The Probe Beast has a fantastic motor that I couldn't stall no matter how hard I tried. This is the perfect machine for hard anal fucking although you may have to lock the legs down to something as Newton's third law states that thusting a massive dildo into a tight hole can make a fucking machine walk."

Joanne

As always I didn't have to wait long for the courier to arrive with the two machines from sexmachines.co.uk as their service is exceptionally quick.

I could hardly contain my excitements when I started to unbox them, so read on to find out how these two machines compare against each other and my other machines as well.

Yubo F1 Fucking Machine From Sexmachines.co.uk

Another fun fucking machine from the sexmachines.co.uk range

I do have the best job in the world I think, especially when Dave from sexmachines.co.uk gets in touch with me asking if I would be interested in reviewing another fucking machine for them.

This time they want me to review the Yubo F1. I had seen some of the other Yubo machines on their site, and they seem ideal for anyone new to fucking machines due to their simplicity.

"Fucking machines never tire, they never complain, and you can trust them not to wipe their cock on your pillow after fucking you (don't ask LOL)."

Joanne

Of course, I agreed to review it for them as you know how much I enjoy my sex machine action. Fucking Machines are just so versatile, and it's always nice to try something new.

I went into this review with no expectations and having reviewed a lot of sex machines I looked forward to seeing how this one would compare with what I have reviewed in the past. So read on to find out where the Yubo F1 starts on my fucking machine starting grid.

Blue Balls XL 2.0 Fucking Machine Review

A machine that both surprised me and gave me a fantastic rodgering

I love my fucking machines and have used so many now that I am a bit of a connoisseur and I like to be pleasantly surprised by a machine's performance as that is definitely better than being underwhelmed.

Many years ago I tried a fucking machine called the Maestro, and it didn't really flick my switch having been spoilt by other better machines at the time.

"I love the way that fucking machines just never tire and they never give up. Believe me, you will be first to tap out when you can't take any more orgasms not the machine."

Joanne

I was delighted when Sexmachines.co.uk got in touch asking me if I would be interested in reviewing one of their new Blue Balls XL Version 2.0 fucking machines and I jumped at the chance to review it. Its design is very similar to the old Maestro, and I wanted to see if this one lives up to the hype about it as I have heard nothing but praise about the Blue Balls.

Sexmachines.co.uk have one of the most extensive selections of sex and fucking machines in the world, and they stock some of the best around. I really looked forward to seeing how this one performed, so read on to see what I think of it.

Caesar® 3.0 Love Machine - Fucking Machine Review

All hail Caesar. No, not the salad dressing, the Fucking Machine

This is a fucking machine that I have had my eyes on for a long time. It is now in its third design iteration, and improvements are continually being made to the design to improve its performance.

I was delighted when the lovely people over at sexmachine.co.uk got in touch asking if I would like to review one for them. As you can imagine, I almost fell off my chair in my haste to reply with a huge "Yes please".

"Once the dildo was inside me, I could just relax and enjoy the rhythmic fucking that I received, and on its highest setting, it ripped an orgasm out of me in quick order."

Joanne

This is the fourth machine that I have reviewed for them, you can see the others here. It was sent to me for free in exchange for a fair and honest evaluation of its performance and this will not affect the outcome of this review.

One of my primary interests in this machine is its unique leg arrangements which are unlike anything I have reviewed before. So read on to see what I think of this machines performance.

Hercules Silicone Vac-u-lock Dildo From Godemiche

A dildo from the Gods, the Hercules as its name suggests is power encarnate

There aren't that many dildo artisans in the UK, but Godemiche is one of them. Run by Adam and Monika they produce a fantastic range of dildos and butt plugs in body-safe silicone.

I have been fortunate in the past to have reviewed the Adam Silicone Dildo and The Peg Anal Dildo for Godemiche, the Peg is also a fantastic beginners butt plug by the way.

"A feature I love about this dildo is the fact that it is uncircumcised. This is the first dildo that I have owned that has an apparent foreskin, it's half withdrawn, and this makes the head fascinating to look at."

Joanne

I was delighted then when Ian from fmachinefun.co.uk asked if I would be interested in reviewing a Hercules for Godemiche. A version of the Hercules with a Vac-u-lock hole in flesh is now in stock at FmachineFun, and Ian thought it would be nice to hear my thoughts on it.

So as you can imagine, I was delighted to be able to review this behemoth of a dildo, and I was even more surprised when I got to see its fantastic colours when it arrived. So without further ado, here are my thoughts on the Hercules Dildo.

uFUC PRO v.2 Fucking Machine Review

A fucking machine that was so much fun to get to know - intimately.

With a myriad of fucking machines on the market, it is always hard to work out what is good or merely a waste of money. I love reviewing sex machines as it means that there is more information out there for customers to make informed decisions before parting with their hard-earned cash.

I was therefore delighted when Sexmachines.co.uk got in touch asking for another impartial review of one of the best selling machines, the uFuc Pro.

"It has a lot of power, even managing to start a double ended dildo slowly when it was fully inserted after I had stopped it on purpose. Some cheap machines don't have the torque to do that, and you go from stop to high speed, but this one is smooth and fantastic. I was genuinely impressed."

Joanne

I jumped at the chance of reviewing another machine for them, and they sent me this one in exchange for a fair and impartial review.

So without letting anything out of the bag read on to find out if this one is a keeper or just a wannabee performer.

Willie Wanka mk II Fantasy Fucking Machine Review

The Willie Wanka is a pussy and ass pleaser

As you can tell by the domain name of my site I have a real passion for fucking and sex machines. There is something magical about using one and feeling the raw power and unwavering performance that will outlast even the most ardent rider.

The biggest problem with sex and fucking machines are their cost which was one of the reasons that I set up my site. I wanted to review sexmachines so that people could make informed choices before spending their hard earned money.

"It takes a lot of torque to overcome the resistance of a buried dildo and this machines copes with that in its stride."

Joanne

But the high costs mean that it isn't often that I get to review a new fucking machine, but it's always a huge treat when I do so. I have reviewed some of the most expensive sex machines on the market. However, it is the cheaper machines, the entry ones if you like that interest me as they are affordable options to enter the world of mechanical sex.

I was therefore delighted when the lovely people over at sexmachines.co.uk got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing the Willie Wanka mk II fucking machine for them. I jumped at the chance (obviously), and they sent me this machine for free in exchange for a fair and honest review of it. So here are my thoughts on this fun looking machine.

Sex and Fucking Machine Wishlist

As you will probably be aware, I have a thing for sex and fucking machines and love playing with them. Either using them on someone, playing on my own with them or being teased with them by someone else. I would love to be able to review more to give you all the benefit of an honest and detailed review but they cost a lot of money so in real terms sex machine reviews will be few and far between.

I am constantly saving up for new toys and fucking machines and when I have enough I will be working my way through this list of delights. If you fancy chipping in to help me buy one then I will be forever in your debt, just get in touch with me to help me review these incredible products.

If you are a retailer or manufacturer and want me to do a review of them then please do get in touch I would love to be able to review something for you. Well without further ado, here is a wishlist of the machines that I would love to be able to experience and review for you all.....


Love Rider - Funky Rocker Clone

Loverider Monkey RockerAvailable from: sexmachines.co.uk
Price: £190.80

It sounds like a great concept, you use your own muscles and body movements to literally fuck yourself as hard and as fast as you want.

You sit on the Love Rider and thrust yourself forward and backwards, the linkage on it then translates that movement into the up and down thrusts of a dildo mounted on it.

With a maximum stroke length of eight inches I can't wait to be able to ride it to some great orgasms. Whilst enjoying the exercise.


Tango Fucking Machine

Tango Fucking MachineAvailable from: sexmachines.co.uk
Price: £2,700

This is state of the art fucking machine and I like the fact that you can program it to create unique fucking sensations. It offers a lot of potential for BDSM games and subbie fun.

It can deliver upto 300 thrusts per minute which should keep me happy and you can use vac-u-lock dildos on it as well as a male masturbator.

If you set it to short strokes you can get upto 1000 strokes a minute - WOW.

With a maximum stroke length of eleven inches I wont be complaining at all. This is the Daddy of all fucking machines and one day I hope to experience one.


The Cowgirl

The Cowgirl Sex machineAvailable from: sexmachines.co.uk
Price: £1,260

This looks like a fantastic Sybian clone, I recently reviewed both the Sybian and the Motorbunny and I would love to see how the Cowgirl performs alongside them both.

It is a ride on sex machine that you straddle and it vibrates at an amazing rate with incredible power. I would love to see if it could drag orgasms out of me like a Sybian and make me squirt like the Motorbunny did.

This style of sex machine is amazing and they put wand style vibrators to shame with their unbridled power.

I'm not sure if the machine or me yelling "Yeeeeha!" would be louder while riding it.


If you feel like donating to my sex machine fund or like my site then please consider sending some Bitcoin or buying me a coffee.

Feel free to make a donation to buy me a coffee of help me save up enough to buy my next machine.
My Bitcoin Address: 1M5JMQi8Bsh1o3h8aHCfqbo1wJqoSgjEyj

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