Reviewing can be hard work, but it does have its fun moments. After all, I have to play with the item before I can write an honest review.
When asked if I would like to review the Tom, Dick and Zoltock toy from John Thomas Toys. It was not even live on their website, so I had no idea what it would even look like. After thinking about it for say, um a whole 5 seconds I said yes.
"Once I wiggled it inside, I found that the three separate heads rubbed along my walls beautifully. The sensation caused was terrific, then to add the three different sides was almost like adding fuel to the fire."Joanne
I didn't have long to wait for the delivery to arrive after being told it had been dispatched. I was so excited when the doorbell rang that I nearly beat the dog to the door lol.
I will admit to being extremely surprised at the size of the box, as it was much larger than the standard ones I have received in the past.
I am delighted to be letting you all know about another new John Thomas Toys Dildo. Both sub'r' and I have taken one for the team as it were to get to know this beast of a dildo.
Now while reviewing this stunning piece of silicone cock, I had a trip into hospital. That meant that sub'r' got first dibs on The Barbarian, and to my surprise, she opted for the large (good girl).
"The first and most amazing features of The Barbarian is its surface textures. They feel sublime when you thrust it in and out. The raised muscles and the snakeskin surface really do work well together creating a myriad of sensations that really get me going."Joanne
Now the good news (for me) is that I am back on form and that meant I was also able to enjoy, and I really do mean enjoy, this silicone dildo.
So, grab a drink, sit back and get comfortable as I tell you all about The Barbarian from John Thomas Toys.
I love it when I get an email from John Thomas Toys asking if they can send me something else. I mean, come on why would I say no.
With their extensive range of body-safe silicone dildos and plugs, I am always breathless with anticipation as I wait to see what awaits my pussy and ass.
"With all these raised areas, the amount of stimulation is fantastic and very well received. Hand play with this dildo has me getting sooo wet, get it on a machine, and I am gushing."Joanne
This time they sent me The Predator ;-) and I couldn't be more delighted.
I love my sex toys to have lots of texture on them, and The Predator definitely ticks that box, so let me tell you all about it.
I always love receiving something new to review in the post. So it goes without saying I was only too happy when I received some more dildos from John Thomas Toys.
For anyone who doesn't know about John Thomas Toys (where have you been hiding), they produce some fantastic dildos and plugs. The best bit is that they only use body-safe silicone for their toys which is fantastic.
"My favourite feature of this John Thomas Toys Dildo is definitely the veins. There are not lots of smaller ones, but several large pronounced veins that run down and across the shaft. With the medium firmness, these veins are reasonably rigid, with just enough squish to make them comfortable in use. The veins feel incredible against my tight walls."Joanne
So, after grabbing a big bottle of lube, it was time to evaluate these ones to tell you all about them.
So, turn down the lights, put on some eerie music and let me tell you all about the Boogeyman Dildo.
Hi, sub 'r' here again with another review, this time I am reviewing the fantastic Sampson Dildo from John Thomas Toys.
I have been really enjoying reviewing some of the dildos that John Thomas Toys has to offer recently.
"I love how full Sampson makes me feel so full, this is what I enjoy the most about big chunky toys. Sampson makes me feel very stretched open, a feeling that I adore. That stretching feeling really turns me on."sub 'r'
I was over the moon when Joanne asked me to review the Sampson for you all. I love dildos that have lots of girth and trust me Sampson has lots of that together with some fantastic features too.
This review is going to be of the medium Sampson as this is the size that best suits needs. So here's what I thought of it. I hope you enjoy my review xx.
I am such a lucky reviewer, John Thomas Toys asked if I would be interested in reviewing some of their newest dildos. Of course, I jumped at the chance to experience some more of their incredible designs.
Even better than trying just one new dildo, John Thomas Toys sent me three designs to review. Yes, you read that right, three designs and all four sizes of each.
"The thinner tip makes taking the head easy, and the glans stand out enough to make it almost pop as it fully enters you. Then you feel the first ridge, each one on the firm blend (which is the blend I was sent if you are wondering), are slightly squishy. This means they are soft enough to enter smoothly but firm enough to feel great once they are inside you."Joanne
Needless to say, the box when it arrived was huge, and it weighed a tonne. It was time to get the sack trolley to work to get these fantastic dildos to my office for photos. I then choose which ones I am going to take home to play with before doing the video review. Of course, it was only fair that sub'r' got her pick too.
Having just reviewed Spock's Cock, and the Parasite, it was on to the final in this batch of interestingly named fantasy dildos, the OGLIN. So let me tell you all about this silicone masterpiece.
I'm such a lucky reviewer, John Thomas Toys asked if I would be interested in reviewing some of their newest dildos. Of course, I jumped at the chance to experience some more of their incredible designs.
Even better than trying just one new dildo, John Thomas Toys sent me three designs to review. Yes, you read that right, three designs and all four sizes of each.
"I found this would hit my g-spot just right. I did not feel challenged by the head of the dildo, but I did still have that lovely feeling of being full. I could feel every bump, ripple and vein when I was fucking myself with this dildo."Joanne
Needless to say, the box when it arrived was huge, and it weighed a tonne.
Having just reviewed Spock's Cock, it was on to the interestingly named fantasy dildo, the PARASITE. So let me tell you all about this silicone masterpiece.
I was delighted when John Thomas Toys asked me if I would be interested in reviewing a few more of their silicone dildos. Of course, I was not going to say no.
They not only sent me all four of the Spock's Cock dildo design and that is what I am reviewing here today, but they sent me the Oglin and the Parasite too. Lucky me - Woohoo!
"But it isn't just me who has been enjoying Spock's Cock, the lovely sub'r' has been enjoying the small and medium. Let's just say using them on a fucking machine in her shaven pussy looks and sounded amazing. The sight of her cumming hard while being ploughed by Spock's Cock was incredibly exciting."Joanne
Check out their site as they have a new range of silicone male masturbators too that look fantastic.
So, let me get on with the review and tell you all about Spock's Cock.
Once again, I was delighted when a package arrived from John Thomas Toys, creators of some stunning silicone dicks and plugs.
Excited as I was, I wasn't prepared for just how amazing the contents of the box looked once I had ripped it open.
"The Alien Hooligan comes into its own on a fucking machine or secured firmly with the included vac-u-lock suction cup adaptor. On a fucking machine, you can just lay back and focus on the sensations that the veins and that head generate."Joanne
Inside I found four Alien Hooligan Dildos in stunning baby blue coloured silicone complete with their storage bags and a suction cup vac-u-lock adaptor.
After spending lots of 'intimate time' with the Alien Hooligan range of dildos along with my delightful submissive, the lovely sub'r', we are ready to give our opinion of this out of this world dildo from John Thomas Toys. So, read on to find out more about this lovely creation.
Having recently really enjoyed reviewing the fantastic BEASTLI silicone dildo from John Thomas Toys, I jumped at the chance to review another.
When they got in touch saying they had an unusual dildo that I might enjoy, I have to admit being immediately curious and hooked. I hastily agreed, and they sent me the entire range of four Cleopatra's Candles.
"It's sort of like a Rubik's Cube for your pussy to try to solve. Wiggling back and forth getting the angle just right so it pops into you is a lot of fun, and it takes your breath away when it suddenly slides in."Joanne
Yes, you read that right 'candles'. This is a dildo designed to look just like a candle, complete with wax running down the sides to give it some nice textures.
I could hardly contain my excitement when the doorbell rang with this latest batch of dildos from John Thomas Toys, so let me tell you all about them.
Well, it isn't often that I get approached by a completely new sex toy manufacturer that are producing the kind of dildos that I love right here in the UK.
To say I was delighted when John Thomas Toys got in touch would be an understatement. They wanted me to review one of their newest creations, the Beastli Platinum Silicone Dildo.
"Both sub'r' and I have had a lot of fun getting to know the Beastli dildos with her enjoying the small and as I like a challenge I have been using the medium and the large (that was a squeeze I can tell you)."Joanne
I obviously jumped at the chance to get my hands (and other parts of my anatomy) on these fantastic looking silicone fantasy dildos packed with really pronounced textures.
Looking like a cross between a Size Queen and a Texture Queens wettest dream, I could hardly contain my excitement as I waited for them to arrive.
It appears that several sex toy companies have concluded that my pussy loves large fantasy silicone dildos. No complaints from me though, as that's a pretty accurate assessment of my pussies dietary needs.
So when Uberkinky sent me this beautifully sculpted 100% platinum silicone Sinnovator Typhon dildo I was over the moon.
"The Typhon from Sinnovator is a dildo that will challenge you to take more and more. Indeed you will always want to take just a little bit more as it stretches you wide open. It awakens carnal instincts in me, and I love riding this beast of a dildo."Joanne
Silicone dildos are one of my favourite types of sex toys, and when a stunning dildo like this one from a new manufacturer arrives in the post, you can be sure that it makes my day.
So after spending a few weeks getting to know the Sinnovator Typhon, here are my thoughts on it.
I love Hankey's Toys silicone dildos, they are famous for being incredibly detailed and also larger than life. Fantastic for size queens or anyone wanting to stretch and train for huge dildos.
Recently they brought out their XS range of nine of their most popular dildos, shrunk down to more modest proportions. That means more people than ever before can enjoy the delights of Hankey's Toys.
"I can't take it anally but sub'r' loved the texture in her backside too and fucking her with a strap-on harness like that was very exciting. She also loves sucking on it deeply stating that every sub should be able to deep throat any cock. I have to admire her conviction on that is this is a really girthy dildo."Joanne
I was sent two dildos from the XS collection, this one and the XS BFG. After enjoying them myself, I sent the Dragon dildo to my submissive for her comments on this cracking little dildo.
So this review is a combination of both of our thoughts on this very nicely textured dildo. Read on to find out what we thought if it.
I love dildos that have lots of textures, and so does sub'r'. We both relish the delightful sensations that they generate as you thrust them in and out of any waiting orifice.
We were both delighted when Mr Hankey sent us something from the new Xtra-Small Series. It was the BFG which is a silicone dildo covered in delightful textures.
"Thrusting with it is sublime. The combination of the textures, changes in diameter and the constant pressure on my g-spot means I can get myself off quickly with the BFG. I also enjoy long slow lady-wanks with it too, it is a very versatile dildo."sub 'r'
The BFG is more commonly known as the Big Fucking Genital. It is available in four huge sizes as well as this more modestly proportioned one.
The Xtra-Small Series is fantastic as it opens up the great Mr Hankeys designs to a broader audience, so let me tell you how much fun this dildo can be.
I have long been a fan of Hankeys Toys, their silicone delights are a sight to behold. With a reputation for larger than life dildos, they are a size queens dream.
I was therefore delighted when they got in touch with me asking if I would like to review the Beowulf for them as well as two of their new XS range of dildos.
"It just gets better and better as you slide more inside with each inch of this dildo opening you up wider and wider until you feel you can't take any more."Joanne
As you can well imagine, it didn't take me long to decide on how to reply, the chance to enjoy some Hankeys Silicone is not to be missed.
So after a short wait, the doorbell rang, and I went to receive a box of dicks from the courier. Many bottles of lube later, I am ready to tell you all about the Beowulf and what I think of it. So read on to how I got on with it.
Here is my next review of another amazing Uberrime creation for PeepShowToys.com in the USA. It has yet again been so much fun reviewing another fantastic Uberrime dildo.
Uberrime has quickly become one of my favourite dildo brands, up there with the likes of Blush, and that is high praise indeed.
"The Helios is so flexible you can actually fold it in half, and that flexibility makes it easy to thrust with from any angle or position."Joanne
The Helios Sun God Dildo is a fantasy dildo, and that means lots of delicious texture and some stunning colours, of course.
So while my pussy recovers from its last pounding by the Helios let me tell you all about this stunning dildo that will be a treat for any orifice.
This is a review of a dildo that could be from anyone's dreams or maybe nightmares if you don't like tentacles.
The Uberrime Xenuphora Tentacle Dildo was sent to us by PeepShowToys in the US, and all of us here were blown away by its bright, vibrant colours and its shape. It is stunning in every way.
"The Xenuphora is a dildo designed for intense stimulation as you thrust and the shape and textures ensure that its performance is top notch."Joanne
After spending some time getting to know it, I can say that it feels as good as it looks.
But, it doesn't have some drawbacks so read on to find out how sub'r' and I got on with this beautiful fantasy dildo.
I just love receiving packages from PeepShowToys in the USA. Whenever I get a delivery from them, it means only one thing, and that is that my pussy is soon going to be purring.
They stock a fantastic selection of body-safe sex toys, and their dildos are amazing. They sent me another Uberrime dildo to review, and I couldn't wait to get cracking with this one.
"The pearlescent pigments create a beautiful marbling effect that glistens in the light. It really is a beautiful colour option, and it looks so enticing."Joanne
The Uberrime Splendid Dual-Density Silicone Dildo looks and feels fantastic. It comes in four different colour options, and this one is the Pearl Blue. The way it shimmers is lovely, and it's a sight to behold.
So, what did we think of this dildo, is it another hit or an unfortunate miss? Read on to find out.
I'm so pleased to have been given the opportunity to review the Uberrime Night King Fantasy Dildo Fire & Ice edition. This ladies and gentlemen is a dildo that went beyond my expectations.
From its stunning colours blending their way down its shaft to the deliciously rich textures, it is made for pleasure.
"When drawn over my clitoris, each ridge sends sparks through me that quickly have my free hand clawing at the sheets. A combination of clit play and deep penetration is precisely how I love to play, and it is an easy task with the Night King Fantasy Dildo."Joanne
With a broad base with the most sublime design on its bottom, it is also a thing of beauty.
Let me tell you why I think this dildo definitely deserves the title of King and why you should add one to your play box.
I love it when I receive a sex toy (in this case a rather fetching dildo) to review, and when I lay eyes upon it I swoon, as it takes my breath away.
This ladies and gentlemen is what happened when I laid eyes upon The Realm Drago and Draken, a dildo and handle combination sent to me by PeepShowToys.com.
"The texture feels incredible in use, you can feel every bit of it as it opens you and you thrust with it."Joanne
I couldn't believe my eyes, a dildo and sword handle combination using my favourite sex toy attachment system the Vac-u-lock system.
I knew right from the outset that this was something different, something I was really going to enjoy.
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