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It's nice to see these fucking machines in the UK with sexmachines.co.uk
It isn't very often that I get asked to review two (yes you read that right) fucking machines at the same time. So you can imagine my excitement when Dave from Sexmachines.co.uk asked me to give him my opinion of the Probe and Probe Beast from Orgasm Alley in the USA.
These are two machines that I have often lusted over and have heard a lot about, and so it was fantastic to be given the opportunity to be able to get my hands on them.
"The Probe Beast has a fantastic motor that I couldn't stall no matter how hard I tried. This is the perfect machine for hard anal fucking although you may have to lock the legs down to something as Newton's third law states that thusting a massive dildo into a tight hole can make a fucking machine walk."
Joanne
As always I didn't have to wait long for the courier to arrive with the two machines from sexmachines.co.uk as their service is exceptionally quick.
I could hardly contain my excitements when I started to unbox them, so read on to find out how these two machines compare against each other and my other machines as well.
Additional Info
- Overall Rating 9.2
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Another fun fucking machine from the sexmachines.co.uk range
I do have the best job in the world I think, especially when Dave from sexmachines.co.uk gets in touch with me asking if I would be interested in reviewing another fucking machine for them.
This time they want me to review the Yubo F1. I had seen some of the other Yubo machines on their site, and they seem ideal for anyone new to fucking machines due to their simplicity.
"Fucking machines never tire, they never complain, and you can trust them not to wipe their cock on your pillow after fucking you (don't ask LOL)."
Joanne
Of course, I agreed to review it for them as you know how much I enjoy my sex machine action. Fucking Machines are just so versatile, and it's always nice to try something new.
I went into this review with no expectations and having reviewed a lot of sex machines I looked forward to seeing how this one would compare with what I have reviewed in the past. So read on to find out where the Yubo F1 starts on my fucking machine starting grid.
Additional Info
- Overall Rating 8.8
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A machine that both surprised me and gave me a fantastic rodgering
I love my fucking machines and have used so many now that I am a bit of a connoisseur and I like to be pleasantly surprised by a machine's performance as that is definitely better than being underwhelmed.
Many years ago I tried a fucking machine called the Maestro, and it didn't really flick my switch having been spoilt by other better machines at the time.
"I love the way that fucking machines just never tire and they never give up. Believe me, you will be first to tap out when you can't take any more orgasms not the machine."
Joanne
I was delighted when Sexmachines.co.uk got in touch asking me if I would be interested in reviewing one of their new Blue Balls XL Version 2.0 fucking machines and I jumped at the chance to review it. Its design is very similar to the old Maestro, and I wanted to see if this one lives up to the hype about it as I have heard nothing but praise about the Blue Balls.
Sexmachines.co.uk have one of the most extensive selections of sex and fucking machines in the world, and they stock some of the best around. I really looked forward to seeing how this one performed, so read on to see what I think of it.
Additional Info
- Overall Rating 9.6
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All hail Caesar. No, not the salad dressing, the Fucking Machine
This is a fucking machine that I have had my eyes on for a long time. It is now in its third design iteration, and improvements are continually being made to the design to improve its performance.
I was delighted when the lovely people over at sexmachine.co.uk got in touch asking if I would like to review one for them. As you can imagine, I almost fell off my chair in my haste to reply with a huge "Yes please".
"Once the dildo was inside me, I could just relax and enjoy the rhythmic fucking that I received, and on its highest setting, it ripped an orgasm out of me in quick order."
Joanne
This is the fourth machine that I have reviewed for them, you can see the others here. It was sent to me for free in exchange for a fair and honest evaluation of its performance and this will not affect the outcome of this review.
One of my primary interests in this machine is its unique leg arrangements which are unlike anything I have reviewed before. So read on to see what I think of this machines performance.
Additional Info
- Overall Rating 9.0
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Machine delivered corporal punishment
I learned something new recently; spanking machines are a thing! I was delighted when the good people over at sexmachines.co.uk got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing one of them.
The chance to review another sex machine was too good to miss and as I do enjoy a good spanking, and so does submissive 'r' I jumped at the chance.
"I have been on the receiving end of it a couple of times now, but it is submissive 'r' who has really tested this out under the steadying hand of my Stunt Cock."
Joanne
I was then left viewing the assembly video on the sexmachines.co.uk website to understand how it all goes together so that I didn't waste any time when it arrived.
I didn't have to wait long as sexmachines.co.uk are always very quick with their deliveries.
Additional Info
- Overall Rating 9.4
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A fucking machine that was so much fun to get to know - intimately.
With a myriad of fucking machines on the market, it is always hard to work out what is good or merely a waste of money. I love reviewing sex machines as it means that there is more information out there for customers to make informed decisions before parting with their hard-earned cash.
I was therefore delighted when Sexmachines.co.uk got in touch asking for another impartial review of one of the best selling machines, the uFuc Pro.
"It has a lot of power, even managing to start a double ended dildo slowly when it was fully inserted after I had stopped it on purpose. Some cheap machines don't have the torque to do that, and you go from stop to high speed, but this one is smooth and fantastic. I was genuinely impressed."
Joanne
I jumped at the chance of reviewing another machine for them, and they sent me this one in exchange for a fair and impartial review.
So without letting anything out of the bag read on to find out if this one is a keeper or just a wannabee performer.
Additional Info
- Overall Rating 9.4
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The Willie Wanka is a pussy and ass pleaser
As you can tell by the domain name of my site I have a real passion for fucking and sex machines. There is something magical about using one and feeling the raw power and unwavering performance that will outlast even the most ardent rider.
The biggest problem with sex and fucking machines are their cost which was one of the reasons that I set up my site. I wanted to review sexmachines so that people could make informed choices before spending their hard earned money.
"It takes a lot of torque to overcome the resistance of a buried dildo and this machines copes with that in its stride."
Joanne
But the high costs mean that it isn't often that I get to review a new fucking machine, but it's always a huge treat when I do so. I have reviewed some of the most expensive sex machines on the market. However, it is the cheaper machines, the entry ones if you like that interest me as they are affordable options to enter the world of mechanical sex.
I was therefore delighted when the lovely people over at sexmachines.co.uk got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing the Willie Wanka mk II fucking machine for them. I jumped at the chance (obviously), and they sent me this machine for free in exchange for a fair and honest review of it. So here are my thoughts on this fun looking machine.
Additional Info
- Overall Rating 9.2
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This piece of sextech is pretty impressive and delivers cracking orgasms
I was asked to review the MotorBunny sex machine by the amazing @CaraSutra as part of her Pleasure Panel Reviewer Program. I jumped at the chance to try this new entry into the marketplace as it isn't often that you get to try a new sex machine now is it?
The MotorBunny borrows its roots from the amazing Sybian sex machine, for those of you who haven't heard of the Sybian - where have you been all of your life? It's a veritable legend, a TV and radio star in its own rights and riding it caused me to squirt for the first time in my life. Oh, happy memories.
An orgasm on the Motorbunny is like someone has dropped a hand-grenade into a kettle. Yes, the water slowly starts to boil and then 'BANG' the grenade explodes and blows the kettle apart.
Joanne
Having thoroughly enjoyed a Sybian I was really keen to see just how well the MotorBunny would perform, as the Sybian is a hard act to follow.
Additional Info
- Overall Rating 9.2
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You Can Now Really Let Yourself Go On A Sybian
I have been dying to be able to review a Sheets Of San Francisco (SOSF) product ever since I bumped into their stand at the ETO show in 2016. I was blown away by the materials that they use. So you can imagine my excitement when the lovely Karen at Sybian.com got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing the new Sybian cover made in collaboration with SOSF. Not only was I going to get to enjoy a Sybian again with the help of Ian from fmachinefun.co.uk but I was finally going to get to review a SOSF product. After much grinning and clapping of hands together I sat back waiting for all of the pieces to fall into place for the review.
It doesn't get better than this, you can squirt with confidence, safe in the knowledge that you aren't going to ruin your Sybian investment and then you can just throw the fluid proof cover into the laundry and pour a glass of post orgasmic wine - sweet.
Joanne
I didn't have to wait long at all and I stood with excitement welling up inside me looking at a Sybian and a lovely black box containing the new cover for it. So after all this time and anticipation what do I really think of the materials produced by SOSF and more importantly is the cover worth the money if you already own a Sybian? Read on to find out.
Additional Info
- Overall Rating 9
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I Am One Lucky Reviewer (who could hardly walk after a week with a Sybian)
I was happilly tweeting away one day when Karen sent me a message asking if I would be interested in reviewing one of their latest creations - the silicone G-Egg? I replied that I would love to but I don't own a Sybian (unfortunately) as I got hold of one through @FuckMachineIan's rental service. To my delight Karen got in touch with Ian and they both worked some magic. Two weeks later a Sybian arrived with not just one new silicone attachment to review but three. I couldn't believe my luck and actually considered going out and buying a National Lottery ticket as my luck was running high. I was spoilt for choice with a G-Egg, an Orb and a Triple Delight attachment all in a stunning shade of purple (my favourite colour).
Now, for those of you that don't know the Sybian is a legendary sex toy and a star of TV and radio shows alike, it has the ability to literally rip orgasms from you again and again and can be an instrument of sweet bliss or absolute torture depending on whose hands the controls are in. I really enjoyed previously reviewing one and you can read that review HERE.
It was like an epiphany when I found the sweet spot and I just kept orgasming over and over again with it and for those of you curious, yes it made me squirt.
Joanne
I had been given a Sybian for a week so that I could get to know all three attachments intimately and can honestly say it was one hell of a week but I don't think the neighbours like me anymore LOL. So, what's the fuss all about with the new range of Silicone Sybian Attachments? Well read on to find out just how good they are and why if you own a Sybian you should consider getting some of them in to enjoy.
Additional Info
- Overall Rating 9.4
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