The Sex Blogging Community And Transphobia

Written by  Apr 15, 2020

The Sex Blogging Community Can Be So Much More

It's time for me to sit here and place my thoughts in front of the whole world as to what is currently happening in the sex blogging community.

The sex blogging community should be a beacon of mutual acceptance and understanding. But it is a beacon with a weak flickering flame, one that will not go out but still a beacon that falls short of its true potential.

As an open community, we had the opportunity to accept and welcome all genders, colours, sizes and shapes, but recent events have highlighted how this is not truly the case.

I hate confrontation, with my disabilities it drains me to the core, but I cannot stand by and let things slide by me. Placing my head in the sand is not an option. I know this post will drain me, but I don't care; I have to let my voice be heard too.

What has happened in the past is absolutely unacceptable. We are better than this. People have been hurt and as a community that is something that we need to unite to prevent ever happening again.

No-one should have to live in fear; no-one should have to fight every single day of their lives just to be accepted for who they are. This is a core value that we must never, ever lose sight of.

I am not going to mention names, that has been done, the damage is real, and we must address what has happened and come together as a community to learn from it and ensure that it never happens again.

Transphobia has no place in society, and it definitely has no place in our community. I will allow my voice to be heard in defence of trans folk or any other minority group no matter who they are.

If I do wrong, if I upset someone, then I expect to be called out for it. I will learn from it, apologise and ensure it never happens again. I will also go further and ensure that I try to educate others as to my failings so that they can learn too.

I may lose followers for my support of the LGBTQIAP+ (Lesbian; Gay; Bisexual; Transgender; Queer; Intersex; Asexual; Pansexual; + (meaning "not limited to")) community and Trans folk in particular, but that doesn't phase me one little bit. I will be better off without anyone who doesn't understand the damage that words can do and also the damage that turning a blind eye can do as well. Now more than ever, minority groups need support, they need their voices amplifying too.

To all of the Trans folk out there, I am sorry that you have had to go through this. I am sorry that you have to fight for your very identity and I am sorry for the time it has taken me to join in the conversation.

I believe we are stronger as a whole, we as a community are capable of amazing things, and we can change.

I can only speak for myself, but please don't lose faith in the community; you are part of it. You belong here, as you are valid, your voices matter and I see you.

I want to finish by pointing anyone reading this to two posts that touched me. One is from the ever so talented Quinn Rhodes - I do not have to be nice to people who misgender me

The second post that I want to highlight is this piece over on Queer and Confused - Transphobia in Sex Blogging

A section of this second article really struck a chord in me:

"Our position in the world of sex blogging is precarious, we are constantly reminded that this is not a space intended for us. We don't belong here, and our inclusion is a privilege that can be revoked the moment we make you uncomfortable."


This needs to be addressed. This needs to change.

We can and must be better than this; the status-quo is not an option. As a community, we need to acknowledge, listen, change and accept.

As a community we are capable of so much good, we need to stoke the flames to ensure our community is a beacon of hope for others in this world.

Published in Blog

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