This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

Winston Churchill

Nice quote and it probably applies to most people who find this page. That said though these rules and policies are set down so that there is no ambiguity regarding how I run my site and how I interact with others on the "T'internet".

Please take the time to read and digest these rules prior to making an offer of something to review or approaching me for any form of advertising or sponsorship opportunity. Striking a deal with me will mean that I will assume that you have read and agree to these terms and I will therefore not be able to issue any refunds for anything covered below if it proves that at a later date you didn't bother. These are very basic rules and I reserve the right to be able to change them at a later date. So on with the rules.....

Table Of Contents

These policies are broken down into three section for ease of comprehension. You can click on a heading to go straight to that policy:

Reviewing and advertising policies:

Email & other contact policies:

Personal policies:

Support Me:

Reviewing and Advertising Policies

Do you want me to review products for you or your company?

I will consider all offers of products to review. I prefer the more unusual toys to run of the mill bland products, inspire me. I enjoy writting in depth and informative reviews about products that really perform well and that fire up my imagination. If you send me a product to review it will be mine to keep at the end of the review process.

Reviews are written in the order that I receive the products. So your product will go the the end of the queue. I can bump your product to the top of the list for a fee. Yes, it's cheeky I know but a gal needs to pay for her lube somehow.My reviews are written after I have spent time getting to know the product and I will produce a fair assessment of my experiences with your product good or bad. I will not send a product back to you if you do not like the review or it is not as positive as you were expecting. I will not allow you to change the wording of my reviews as they are my opinion. That said if you have a great product you can expect a great review. Reviews can take up to four weeks from me receiving an item depending on my current work load.

I reserve the right to refuse to review a product so please ensure that we agree on what you are sending to me so that this isn't going to be a problem. I will only review products that fit in with my site, check out my past reviews to see the sort of things I have agreed to in the past.

I cannot believe that I have to add this but after a recent incident I just want to be clear that I will not review products that have been opened and removed from their packaging as I will not know if anyone has already used it. I will simply return products like that as I will not gamble with my health for obvious reasons.

If I agree to review a product for your and you send me more than what was agreed, I will assume that the rest of the products are gifts not needing any review.

I love reviewing sex machinesI prefer to review products for companies that have an affiliate scheme but I do make exceptions, that is purely a preference. I am happy to work with smaller companies so contact me if you think we can work together even if you do not have an affiliate scheme. I would be especially interested to work with you if you are looking for reviews of any of the product types listed below as they really interest me.

  • Sex or fucking machines
  • Violet Wands
  • E-Stim equipment - I get a lot of traffic on my e-stim reviews
  • BDSM products (in particular hoods, bindings and restraints)
  • Vacuum beds
  • Tele-dildonic or VR products
  • Sex toys made out of body safe materials such as Silicone, glass, metal or ceramics
  • New products on the market

I may include links to other peoples reviews of your product inside my review if I think it would be benficial to my readership, however I will never link to one of your competitors from within a review. I may also include links to other similar products that I have reviewed in the past.

Reviews contain links to both your sites front page and the product page. I promote my reviews on my social media channels giving your brand extra exposure.

Outbound links from a review will be nofollow links as per Google's paid content rules.

Back to table of contents

Do you want me to advertise your business/website/product?

I offer two advertising opportunities on my site - text links and banner adverts. I have limited space for advertisements and this subject will be covered in full in a seperate policy page.

All adverts must be paid for in full prior to me listing them on my site and I reserve the right to refuse an adverts text or image if I think it is abusive or offensive in any way. I will offer a refund if I refuse to list your ad or I will give you the opportunity to send a different one.

Back to table of contents

Do you want me to have a sponsored post on my site that links to yours?

I am open to the idea of writing sponsored posts but I will write them. A sponsored post will be 1000+ words and will include relevent links to your site or products.

The cost of one of these sponsored posts is £30 and this covers the time taken researching and writing the post. Banners and links can be included in the post page. After payment I will write the article and send you a draft for comment prior to publication. I will then make minor adjustments to it to suit you. Once published I will then promote it on my social media platforms.

Payment is for the article only, you are not buying a click through rate or conversions. More information on sponsored posts can be seen here. Outbound links from a sponsored post will be nofollow links as per Google's paid content rules.

Back to table of contents

Do you want to quote something I have written?

I welcome people quoting my work providing that I get a credit in the form of my name (Joanne Summers) and a do follow reciprocal link to my site. You may quote up to 200 words of text. If you want to use any of my images in your quote please ask me first. Failure to comply with these conditions will force me to contact you and or your host to file a copyright infringement notice. Your host will take offending material offline. Talk to me before quoting anything to avoid any confusion.

The reason that I do not allow more than 200 words from one of my articles being published elsewhere is that it's detrimental to my site as google considers it to be what they call duplicate content. If duplicate content is identified by google my site would receive a penalty against it which means it would feature lower in search engine listings which is detrimental to me and obviously you wouldn't want that to happen. If you like my work then I am happy with an attributed 200 word extract and a 'follow' link to my site as that would benefit not only me but also your readers as they can then see the rest of my work here.

Back to table of contents

Do you want to republish something I’ve written?

I insist that you get permission from me prior to reposting anything in excess of 200 words on your site or publication. Again failure to comply with these conditions will force me to contact you and or your host to file a copyright infringement notice. Your host will take offending material offline.

If my articles or reviews are being posted by you to benefit your business then get in touch with me as I would consider that to then be commissioned work and I will charge you a small fee for this.

If permission is granted to re-post my works then I insist that a credit in the form of my name (Joanne Summers) and a reciprocal 'follow' link to my site.

Back to table of contents

Do you want to write a guest post for my blog, or want me to publish an article you’ve written?

I would love to be able to post guest posts from other bloggers so get in touch if you want to look into that option. However I insist on no duplicate content, any guest posts written must be unique to my site.

I am willing to pay for guest posts from other bloggers as I understand the work that goes into them. However, I cannot afford to pay much and at the moment £20 is all that I can spare from my budget but hey it's better than nothing. As my bog grows I will increase this figure. I am a firm believer in paying for work and not free loading but as my blog doesn't earn much I have to start low.

Guest posts will include a short bio together with links to your site and social media account. Your site link will be a 'follow' link.

Get in touch with me an pitch your article idea to me. I have an article giving you more information about guest posts that may interest you.

If you are looking to promote your business in a guest post then contact me to discuss the possibility of me writing a sponsored post for you or to advertise you in other ways.

Back to table of contents

Do you want me to run a competition for you?

I am happy to run giveaway competitions so please get in touch if you want to look into that option.

I can run competitions for things that are relevent to my site and at the moment this service is free. I will consider competitions in which I will fulfill the delivery or ones where you will deliver the item to the winner.

Competitions will be promoted on social media giving your brand some great exposure.

Back to table of contents

Do you want me to join your affiliate program?

I generaly only join the affiliate programs of companies who send me products to review or who buy advertising space on my site. If you are thinking about sending me products to review then please do get in touch with me with details about your affiliate program.

It’s also important that your affiliate program offers at least a 10% commission, relatively low payout thresholds ($100/£50 or less), and pays out via Paypal.

Back to table of contents

What are your shop policies?

Cancellation - Purchased Goods. The UK Distance Selling Regulations advise that you have 7 days to cancel your order contract with me and I will issue a full refund. The 7 working days starts from the day after you receive your order. I will need written confirmation that you wish to cancel your order, which can be done via my Contact form.

If you have already received your order, you will need to return all items in the order unused and in their original condition and packaging. If I do not receive the cancelled order back I may arrange to have it collected at your cost.

Returns Policy - Purchased Goods.This returns policy sets out how I processes and accepts returns. Returns are only accepted with a returns authorisation number which is available from me by e-mail.

Due to the obvious health and hygiene implications with adult goods. For goods to be returned if they are not broken then the following terms have to be met:

  • The goods must be unused.
  • The goods must be in their original condition & packaging.
  • Items supplied in sealed packaging that have been opened are non refundable and non exchangeable.
  • The goods must be received back within 14 days from the day you received your order.
  • Returned goods will carry a 10% restocking fee, postage and packaging charges are non refundable.

If I suspect that the goods have been used or any of the above conditions are not met then I reserve the right to return the goods.

Back to table of contents

Legal Matters

I review products for manufacturers and retailers and as such I have a contract with them to provide a review. If you believe that an item is a copyright violation or patent violation then your disagreement is with the manufacturer. I will not take a review down because you want me to without being ordered to do so by a legal authority or by the company who commissioned the review. I could be held in breach of contract if I removed a review just because you contacted me and so I will wait until your legal procedings conclude or I hear from your legal representatives. Do not send me harrassing messages as my hands are tied in this matter and they will simply be deleted.

Back to table of contents

Email & other business policies

Contacting me

When you e-mail, tweet or send me messages through any other medium it comes straight to me. I don't have a webmaster or a team of minions. If you start your message with "Dear sir/madam" or "To whom it may concern" you are obviously spamming or using a shotgun approach to contacting reviewers and you haven't checked out this page. I will therefore probably not even read your message and won't take it seriously.

Back to table of contents

Do you want to interview me?

I am very happy to be interviewed. Please get in touch with me to let me konw the topics of the interview, where it will be published, your deadline and how long it will take. I will repsond with my availability. E-mail or chat interviews are my preference.

Back to table of contents

Newletter Information

I use MailChimp for my newsletter and as such it is run through a very reputable comany that has a zero spam policy. By signing up for my newsletter you agree to allowing me to send you occasional newsletters detailing new reviews. You can unsubcribe yourself at any time through the link contained in the e-mail and your e-mail address will never be sold or passed on by me to a thrid party.

Back to table of contents

Personal policies:

Do you want to flirt with me?

Please don't creep me out or obsess over me. Yes I review sex toys but that doesn't mean that I am "easy" or looking for sexual partners - trust me I can find my own fun.

Back to table of contents

Do you want to send me a sexual photo?

Don’t ever send anyone a sexual photo without their consent. I definitely do not need to see pics of your "Mangina" no matter how good you think it looks.

Back to table of contents

Do you want to meet me in person?

I occasionally tweet or blog about events or exhibitions that I’m attending. I'd love to meet my readers at these events but again please don't creep me out or start stalking me LOL.

Please, if you find out my “real name” at an event we’re both at, or through other means, I would ask that you still call me Joanne Summers or JS in any interactions we share on the internet. That’s the decent thing to do and I will offer you the same courtesy. Thanks!

Back to table of contents

Support Me:

Do you want to support me?

What I really need is help in growing my readership, so if you really want to support me then tweet and post about me and my blog. Doing that will help me gain backlinks to my site and increase my exposure and reach and for that I will be eternaly grateful.

Back to table of contents

Do you want to send me some money?

It's nice that you want to do that but it isn't really practical unless you want to support me on Patreon or donate towards my trip to London to go to Eroticon 2018. You could always get clandestine and send me some bitcoin to spend on fucking machines if you want.

The best thing to do is use my affiliate links and banners shown on my site before making a purchase to help me offset the costs of my site.

Back to table of contents

This Policy Page is here for my own benefit but I understand just how hard it is to come up with one so if you feel that you would like to use it please feel free to do so. You can Copy and Paste it in its entirety, changing whatever suits you or leaving it as is. However please credit me with a link back to my site.

Found Something Useful, Or Do You Just Like What I Do?
Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Latest Reviews

May 20, 2019

The Grabbit Luxury Rabbit Vibrator From Gvibe

in Vibrators
The Grabbit feels as good as it looks Gvibe is a UK based company who produce some fantastic vibrators and butt plugs. I have always had a great time reviewing their products and can highly recommend their Gplug Twist and Gbulb that I recently reviewed. So,… Read More
May 16, 2019

Wicked Jelle Water-Based Anal Lube

in Lube Reviews
An incredibly thick anal lube that is also good for pussy play Lube is an often overlooked bedroom accessory that is extremely useful, even I dare say essential for brilliant sex. I was delighted when Latex, Leather & Lace sent us a bottle of Wicked Jelle… Read More
Apr 28, 2019

Blush Temptasia Twist Silicone Dildo Review

in Dildos
The Temptasia Twist is a dildo designed to please any hole you want to pleasure I am… Read More
Apr 20, 2019

Temptasia Clitoris And Nipple Enhancement System Pump

in BDSM Kit Reviews
Doing the vacuuming has never been so much fun I was delighted when Blush asked me to… Read More

Recent Articles

March 24, 2019

Best Male Milking Machines

The best machines for hands free orgasms, or, a posh wank I am often asked which is the best male milking machine. I am going to tell you all about three that I know are out of this world. They ain't cheap, but with sex machines, you do indeed get what you… Read More
August 27, 2018

Experiencing Burning Or Stinging When Stimming?

Here are some pointers to smooth things out a bit Stinging or burning is often caused by either having too much power going through an electrode or having your electrode too small. Other things can also create this sort of problem, and I will cover those… Read More
Jul 05, 2018

What is a DDLG relationship?

You might be surprised by the DDLG scene when you learn more about it First off, I can… Read More
Jun 11, 2018

Male And Female Chastity Belts & Cock Cages

The thought of being locked in chastity really turns me one Chastity is a subject that… Read More

Latest Blog Posts

May 08, 2019

I Am Designing A Belt Clip And Holder For My 2B Estim Control Box

in Blog
If you enjoy stimming while walking around then this may be of interest to you The 2B E-stim Control Box is an absolutely fantastic piece of equipment, and lots of people enjoy stimming while being mobile. I decided to design my own 3D printable belt clip and… Read More
March 29, 2019

Friday, March 29th, is Boobday!

in Blog
Celebrate #BoobDay by whipping them out and admiring them It's finally here BrexitDay and what a cluster that is, so let's think about a much better day to celebrate and enjoy - Boobday! These pics aren't as grand as others posted on #BoobDay, but they do get… Read More
Mar 29, 2019

How To Support A Blogger Or Author

in Blog
Here are some quick ways to really help support a blogger/author This is an article about… Read More
Mar 13, 2019

I Am Reviewing The Python Electro-Compression System

in Blog
My Stunt Cock is going to be having lots of shockingly good fun After a very exciting… Read More