Latest Reviews

Joannes Reviews

I have a lot of fun reviewing sex toys and adult related products and I hope that you enjoy my reviews and find them useful. It is always good to see someone's opinion of an item before you consider parting with your hard earned cash.

Children categories

E-Stim

E-Stim (50)

I have a lot of fun reviewing sex toys and adult related products and I hope that you enjoy my reviews and find them useful. I started experimenting with e-stim in 2015 and have never looked back, I love it. I hope that you find these reviews useful as it is always good to see someones opinion of an item before you consider parting with your hard earned cash.

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Sex & Fucking Machines

Sex & Fucking Machines (27)

I love reviewing sexmachines and fucking machines as they are just so much fun. But they do carry a hefty pricetag so if you want to see my opinions on the machines that I have tried out then enjoy my reviwews.

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Dildos

Dildos (83)

I love dildo fun and games and I enjoy reviewing them. I tend to not leave much to the imagination when I write my reviews and I will give you the good points as well as the bad so that you can make an informed decision about future purchases.

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Male Masturbators

Male Masturbators (13)

I also enjoy revieiwing male masturbators with the help of my trusty 'Stuntcock'. I often get involved in the reviewing process to get a good feel for how well these sextoys perform. There is a growing number of amazing male masturbators around now so check out my reviews to see what I think of some of them.

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Lube Reviews

Lube Reviews (25)

Everyone should be using good quality lubricants in their sex play, you may think that you don't need it but trust me it can make things so much better if you lube up. It is essential if you are considering anal sex and highly recommended for vaginals ex as well.

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Vibrators

Vibrators (92)

Who doesn't enjoy some vibrator action when the mood strikes. I know I do and I have enjoyed reviewing all of these sex toys so that you can get an understanding of why they work and why some of them don't work as well as the others.

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Butt Plugs

Butt Plugs (14)

If you are here then you probably enjoy having your butt crammed full of lots of kinky sex toys like me. Well let me show you which ones are worth putting where the sun doesn't shine and which ones are just fit for the bin.

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BDSM Kit Reviews

BDSM Kit Reviews (64)

I like it kinky and love the whole world of BDSM and enjoy reviewing BDSM related equipment from some of the best manufacturers around. Check out these reviews to see if something takes your fancy.

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Bad Dragon Product Reviews

Bad Dragon Product Reviews (0)

I adore the range of products from Bad Dragon. All of their dildos and masturbators are 100% Platinum body safe silicone and that means they are latex and phthalate free. The designs are all so out of this world and kinky fantasy dildos really flick my switch. I hope that you enjoy these reviews.

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Other Reviews

Other Reviews (32)

These reviews are of products that don't readily fit into any of my other categories. If it's weird or unusual then it's probably in here but don't let that put you off there are some great pieces of kit reviewed here.

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Cock Rings

Cock Rings (4)

Cock rings can be a lot of fun, they also have a very real purpose in aiding and maintaining bigger harder erections and with the amazing array of different ones on the market it can be hard to choose a good one. So check out these reviews.

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ABDL Product Reviews

ABDL Product Reviews (10)

Adult Baby/Diaper Lover. This is typically a lifestyle choice (A fetish for some) where a adult acts like a baby for comfort reasons. Many people use this to deal with stress, traumatic life events, or just because this is how they chose to live their life. People who are into this might wear adult diapers, use pacifiers, and other various objects that one might use for a child or toddler.

This does not mean that they are attracted to children at all, it is purely a lifestyle and roleplay choice. These reviews are of ABDL products and a lot of them have a cross over use in more generally accepted BDSM practices.

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Sexy Shoes And Clothing

Sexy Shoes And Clothing (2)

These reviews are of sexy outfits, shoes and kinky fuck me boots. It is always good and fun to dress to impress and these items of clothing and footwear make sub'r' and I feel just so sexy. So check them out and see why we like them so much.

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A simple and very effective way to explore tri-phase play

I have decided to review the Tri-Phase Cable from E-Stim Systems. I have been reticent to review it as "it's just a cable", why does that need reviewing?

Well, I have noticed many searches on my site regarding tri-phase, and I get numerous questions about it by e-mail.

"Yes, you can make a tri-phase cable yourself, but I can pretty much guarantee that most DIY cables won't be as neat and reliable in use."

Joanne

I thought why not review this cable and discuss what tri-phase is and how it can add a new dimension to your stimming.

So, watch (in awe) as I manage to drag out a cable review to over 1000 words. Just kidding; hopefully, you will find this review very informative.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.4

IT is a silicone stretcher with both a funny background story and an unusual look

John Thomas Toys were worried that I might be getting bored throughout England's third lockdown, so they let sent me a couple of toys to keep myself "busy".

I was surprised when three heavy boxes arrived. As they were a new design, I was told the names but had no idea what they would look like.

"The whole dildo is stimulation heaven, it rubs my walls wonderfully as it goes in and out. Give it a little twist and my toes were curling."

Joanne

I had to really restrain myself not to open the boxes at home before filming the unboxing video for you to watch. I must say it was not an easy feat, and so Stuntcock just locked them away :-)

While John Thomas Toys were kind enough to package the dildo's into separate boxes, I still felt sorry for the postie. Each box weighs a lot, just imagine four hefty silicone dildos in each box.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.0

Forget the ring toss, challenge your ring

When John Thomas Toys asked if I would like some new toys to review while in yet another lockdown, of course, I said yes.

With so many weeks in lockdown, it is the perfect distraction for me. I was thrilled when I received three boxes of dildos.

"The Challenge shape is easy to start with, but as you can guess from the name, once you reach the first ring, the width expands dramatically, and the challenge begins."

Joanne

This review is for The Challenge. I am reviewing the dildos individually as I feel it would be too long to read a combined review.

Please get comfortable and get ready to hear what I thought of John Thomas Toys The Challenge dildo.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.0

Daddy's Cock has more than meets the eye

John Thomas Toys were worried that I may get bored during the countries third lockdown. So they asked if I would like to receive some new dildos to review.

Well, lockdown can get a little boring, so of course, I said yes, please.

"The stretch is virtually immediate and extremely enjoyable. The glans is angled slightly forward to make it easy to insert, and when you look down from the glans, you see how the back arch sticks up to create a delicious ridge"

Joanne

I was surprised when three heavy boxes arrived on my doorstep a few days after being notified they had been dispatched to me.

Although I did find a label placed on the top box rather amusing and had to send out a little tweet about it. How could I find a sticker that said "Do not split" on three boxes of large dildos not funny?

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.0

A Rabbit Vibe that would give Thumper a run for his money

So Divine got in touch with me to see if I would like to review some of their new range from the #Selflove selection. I think you can guess my response :) Of course, I said yes please, as I have thoroughly enjoyed their sex toys in the past.

I then had to sit and wait for the delivery, which I will admit would be pretty dull if I did not have other things to do to distract me.

"The silky-smooth texture makes it slide in smoothly, and the shape makes it almost effortless to hold and move."

Joanne

I did not have long to wait before the package arrived at my door. Placed on my doorstep by a cheerful post person who waved as they left.

It is always exciting when I get a box of items, not knowing exactly what products are inside. It's almost like Christmas, just without the wrapping paper.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.0

Title of the review

I am delighted to bring you a guest review from RubberStimmer, a long time stimmer and rubber fetishist. I love hearing about new pieces of sex tech and the SPT, and V2K conversion kit has me experiencing a little bit of penis envy. I can only imagine how good they must feel.

This kit is designed to improve the performance of the Venus 200 and Tremblr male masturbators and I hope you enjoy this guest review as much as I did.

"If you like long edging sessions, this is an excellent addition to your toy bag. Unlike the SK system, a column milker is easier to use solo, and cleanup effort is just the receiver."

RubberStimmer

Guest Reviewer - RubberStimmer

The Serious Kit Electro STP or receiver was designed for their now iconic, milking system.

A piece of kit that I suspect plays a part in the fantasies of many, but more often than not it is out of reach.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.0

The MASTER is a hole stretchers dream of a dildo

Once again, I was delighted when John Thomas Toys got in touch to ask if I would like to review some of their very newest items. I didn't even have to think about it.

As this dildo was new, they had not even placed the pictures on their website before sending them to me. Because of this, I had no idea as to what to expect until a very heavy box arrived.

"You get the slight pop as the whole of the glans slide fully inside you. That is a feeling I always enjoy. As you sink more of the shaft inside, you get to enjoy the slight stretch from the widening shaft."

Joanne

Having already reviewed a selection of dildos and stretchers from John Thomas Toys, I was excited to see what their designers had created now. The names certainly did not give me any ideas.

Knowing only that they were called Master and Essex Geezer, I said yes I would love to review these for you and then I just sat back and waited for them to arrive. This review features the Master dildo.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.0

Essex Geezer, a diamond bloke with a huge cock

I do love reviewing and get very excited when I am asked to review something before it is even advertised on the companies website.

Well, this happened again with the John Thomas Toys Essex Geezer dildo. Even though I knew the name, I had no idea what it would actually look like when I agreed to review it.

"Essex Geezer is a chap that you will want more than a one night stand with. I can understand why Essex girls always seem to have a smile on their faces now."

Joanne

If you check out their website, you will see that it's impossible to guess what a product will look like until you can see it. But one thing I knew for sure was it was going to be larger than life.

I never have long to wait for John Thomas Toys to arrive after they say they are sending me something and I could hardly contain my excitement.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.0

They say that all good things come in threes and that is true of the Tom, Dick & Zoltok dildo

Reviewing can be hard work, but it does have its fun moments. After all, I have to play with the item before I can write an honest review.

When asked if I would like to review the Tom, Dick and Zoltock toy from John Thomas Toys. It was not even live on their website, so I had no idea what it would even look like. After thinking about it for say, um a whole 5 seconds I said yes.

"Once I wiggled it inside, I found that the three separate heads rubbed along my walls beautifully. The sensation caused was terrific, then to add the three different sides was almost like adding fuel to the fire."

Joanne

I didn't have long to wait for the delivery to arrive after being told it had been dispatched. I was so excited when the doorbell rang that I nearly beat the dog to the door lol.

I will admit to being extremely surprised at the size of the box, as it was much larger than the standard ones I have received in the past.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.4

Slip into something very comfortable this Christmas

I am delighted to be able to bring you a Christmas competition with a difference. While not being seasonally or even politically correct, I do have something for penis owners out there that will put a massive smile on their faces.

Forget stuffing the Turkey, I have something much more fun to "stuff".

Get yourself off in style with this amazing masturbator called THE BOOTY CALL from the fantastic John Thomas Toys.

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