Latest Reviews

Joannes Reviews

I have a lot of fun reviewing sex toys and adult related products and I hope that you enjoy my reviews and find them useful. It is always good to see someone's opinion of an item before you consider parting with your hard earned cash.

Children categories

E-Stim

E-Stim (51)

I have a lot of fun reviewing sex toys and adult related products and I hope that you enjoy my reviews and find them useful. I started experimenting with e-stim in 2015 and have never looked back, I love it. I hope that you find these reviews useful as it is always good to see someones opinion of an item before you consider parting with your hard earned cash.

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Sex & Fucking Machines

Sex & Fucking Machines (27)

I love reviewing sexmachines and fucking machines as they are just so much fun. But they do carry a hefty pricetag so if you want to see my opinions on the machines that I have tried out then enjoy my reviwews.

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Dildos

Dildos (87)

I love dildo fun and games and I enjoy reviewing them. I tend to not leave much to the imagination when I write my reviews and I will give you the good points as well as the bad so that you can make an informed decision about future purchases.

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Male Masturbators

Male Masturbators (15)

I also enjoy revieiwing male masturbators with the help of my trusty 'Stuntcock'. I often get involved in the reviewing process to get a good feel for how well these sextoys perform. There is a growing number of amazing male masturbators around now so check out my reviews to see what I think of some of them.

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Lube Reviews

Lube Reviews (25)

Everyone should be using good quality lubricants in their sex play, you may think that you don't need it but trust me it can make things so much better if you lube up. It is essential if you are considering anal sex and highly recommended for vaginals ex as well.

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Vibrators

Vibrators (96)

Who doesn't enjoy some vibrator action when the mood strikes. I know I do and I have enjoyed reviewing all of these sex toys so that you can get an understanding of why they work and why some of them don't work as well as the others.

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Butt Plugs

Butt Plugs (15)

If you are here then you probably enjoy having your butt crammed full of lots of kinky sex toys like me. Well let me show you which ones are worth putting where the sun doesn't shine and which ones are just fit for the bin.

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BDSM Kit Reviews

BDSM Kit Reviews (68)

I like it kinky and love the whole world of BDSM and enjoy reviewing BDSM related equipment from some of the best manufacturers around. Check out these reviews to see if something takes your fancy.

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Bad Dragon Product Reviews

Bad Dragon Product Reviews (0)

I adore the range of products from Bad Dragon. All of their dildos and masturbators are 100% Platinum body safe silicone and that means they are latex and phthalate free. The designs are all so out of this world and kinky fantasy dildos really flick my switch. I hope that you enjoy these reviews.

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Other Reviews

Other Reviews (32)

These reviews are of products that don't readily fit into any of my other categories. If it's weird or unusual then it's probably in here but don't let that put you off there are some great pieces of kit reviewed here.

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Cock Rings

Cock Rings (4)

Cock rings can be a lot of fun, they also have a very real purpose in aiding and maintaining bigger harder erections and with the amazing array of different ones on the market it can be hard to choose a good one. So check out these reviews.

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ABDL Product Reviews

ABDL Product Reviews (10)

Adult Baby/Diaper Lover. This is typically a lifestyle choice (A fetish for some) where a adult acts like a baby for comfort reasons. Many people use this to deal with stress, traumatic life events, or just because this is how they chose to live their life. People who are into this might wear adult diapers, use pacifiers, and other various objects that one might use for a child or toddler.

This does not mean that they are attracted to children at all, it is purely a lifestyle and roleplay choice. These reviews are of ABDL products and a lot of them have a cross over use in more generally accepted BDSM practices.

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Sexy Shoes And Clothing

Sexy Shoes And Clothing (2)

These reviews are of sexy outfits, shoes and kinky fuck me boots. It is always good and fun to dress to impress and these items of clothing and footwear make sub'r' and I feel just so sexy. So check them out and see why we like them so much.

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All sorts of hurty stingy fun can be had with this "human-prod"

The Stinger from the Doc Johnson Kink Range is something that I have had my eyes on for a while. Having seen it and similar electro play wands used in porn films, I really wanted to put one to the test.

So you can understand how delighted I was when Betty's Toy Box asked if I wanted to review one for them. Yes, I was finally going to get my hands on a cattle prod for humans - woohoo!

"One of the things I really love about The Stinger is the bright flash and loud crack you get when it discharges on someone skin. That alone is enough to have the receiver jumping, and that's without the sting."

Joanne

My submissive, the delightful sub'r' on the other hand, was decidedly not too keen on my reviewing one. This, was of course, because she would be the one on the receiving end of it - for science (honest).

So we awaited its arrival. I couldn't wait, and sub'r' says she could have done with waiting for longer, LOL. So, let me tell you all about The Stinger from Doc Johnson.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.0

Jute rope play is a sensory delight, use it to tie and tease

As anyone who reads my blog will know, I have a keen interest in anything BDSM related. I suppose that is obvious as I even have my own submissive, the lovely sub'r' who is a delight to Dominate.

I am always keen to try out new BDSM products. I was delighted when Passion Craft Store (PCS) over in Ukraine got in touch with me to ask if I fancied reviewing any of their hand made creations.

"I found that sub'r' got incredibly aroused during our rope play sessions; she adored the added friction and the sensory nature of the rope against her skin."

Joanne

Obviously, I jumped at the chance, and with my delightful submissive at my side, we had a look through the PCS website to see what was on offer.

Settling on three items, PCS agreed to send them to us to review. This review is of their Jute BDSM Shibari Bondage Rope. So let me tell you all about it and PCS.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.2

A luxurious collar and leash set from Sportsheets International

I was delighted when Betty's Toy Box got in touch, asking me if I would be interested in reviewing some of their products.

I jumped at the chance, of course, as I have had my eyes on Betty's Toy Box for years now but never expected them to get in touch as they have their headquarters in Canada (but they ship globally from their warehouses in the USA).

"A collar means different things to different folk. My submissive, the delightful sub'r' loves wearing a collar as for her, it re-enforces her submissive role. Just wearing it is a constant reminder of her place. Wearing a collar is also a huge turn-on for her, and she does look good in one if I do say so myself"

Joanne

As a female-founded store, I love that they focus on sex positivity and body-safe materials, both subjects close to my heart.

They told me that they would be sending me some BDSM related products, and I knew I would have a lot of fun with my submissive, the delightful sub'r' when they arrived. So let me tell you all about the first product: the Saffron Collar and Leash Set by Sportsheets.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.0

Like its namesake, Godzillaz is a primal beast of a ride

John Thomas Toys asked if they could send me another dildo to review. I do love their toys, and I like working with the company as well. With that in mind, of course, I said yes please.

It definitely helped when they said the name was Godzillaz. I was hoping that they would be nice enough to let me review this dildo as it looks incredible.

"On pushing more of Godzillaz inside, I feel the shaft widening's girth, filling me up nicely. The spikes and the frills were adding different sensations to the dildo. John Thomas Toys really have designed a great dildo."

Joanne

The main question was, would it be as good as it looks. I mean, just look at the pics of Godzillaz; that is some eye-watering well-defined texture there. I do like the little comment on the product page on John Thomas Toys website:

"Godzillaz is a real creature feature from the Jurassic age. Boasting spikes, a curved scaled shaft that has lizard like fans, this dong truly is out of this world!"

So let me tell you all about my encounter with Godzillaz.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.6

The Colon Snake is both a challenge and a pleasure to use

John Thomas Toys were very concerned that I may get bored while still in lockdown and offered to send me two new dildos. This one, the Colon Snake and their Diablo's Finger Silcione Dildo.

Ok, so now I may need to get a much bigger storage area to hold them all, but I can never seem to say no.

"I have used it several times now, this is one of those sex toys that feels amazing to insert, and the feeling of fulness is hard to describe but highly arousing."

Joanne

I will admit that when John Thomas Toys said they were sending me Colon Snake, I had no idea what to expect. They had not added them to their website before I did my unboxing video. So I was stunned by what I pulled out of the box.

John Thomas Toys produce high-quality dildos of all shapes and sizes. Their designs are always unique and a heck of a lot of fun to review. Although I don't think I'll ever be able to take on the XL size of any of their range as the girth on them is incredible.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.0

A clitoral suction toy that had my toes curling

Hi, it's sub 'r' here again with another review of a So Divine sex toy. This time it's the Self Love Clitoral Suction Stimulator from their #SelfLove range.

Joanne decided that she would review the rabbit vibrator from this collection. I was going to get the suction stimulator - Woohoo!

"I tried to make myself last for as long as possible. When my orgasm came, it washed over me again and again. If you have problems cumming through your clit alone, then this may be a great toy to try. It is very intense and the sensations produced are not like those from a regular vibrator"

sub 'r'

The suction stimulator is part of So Divine's new Self Love range, and with us being back in lockdown, I've had lots of time to get to know this well-proportioned sex toy.

So let me tell you all about it. I hope you enjoy this review.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 8.8

The Devils finger will really press your buttons

As soon as I was set up in my new office, John Thomas Toys asked if they could send me some more dildos to review.

I am not going to say no to a chance at getting my hands on some new dildos to review.

"As I expected, I felt every single ridge and bump along my sensitive walls. If you get the angle and dildo size right, you can even rub the claw against your g-spot."

Joanne

I am given the name but have no idea what they look like until they arrive. This is because they often come before John Thomas Toys have put them on their own website. Luckily It was easy to guess which was which when I did the unpacking video.

I was excited to try out my new studio for both videos and photos. It also helped to identify a few things that needed rethinking.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.4

A customisable G-spot vibrator, bring it on!

Hot Octopus asked if I would like to review their new g-spot vibrator, the KURVE. I didn't need to think about the answer at all; of course, I wanted to try it out. You see, ever since reviewing the JETT from Hot Octopuss, I have been longing to feel the Trebble and Bass vibrations myself. Now was my opportunity.

I didn't have to wait for long before I answered the door to find a small box on the doorstep. After saying thank you to the delivery driver, I got my scissors out to carefully open the packaging.

"The shape is perfect for easily hitting my G-Spot while still being able to access the buttons. I love the soft part of the head as I rub it in place, but it also feels great against my internal walls and against my clit."

Joanne

I was really excited for two reasons. Firstly, I had a new vibrator to play with; oops, sorry, I mean to review, of course.

The second reason was; this would be the first review I would photograph with my new office's stone wall as the backdrop.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.6

A simple and very effective way to explore tri-phase play

I have decided to review the Tri-Phase Cable from E-Stim Systems. I have been reticent to review it as "it's just a cable", why does that need reviewing?

Well, I have noticed many searches on my site regarding tri-phase, and I get numerous questions about it by e-mail.

"Yes, you can make a tri-phase cable yourself, but I can pretty much guarantee that most DIY cables won't be as neat and reliable in use."

Joanne

I thought why not review this cable and discuss what tri-phase is and how it can add a new dimension to your stimming.

So, watch (in awe) as I manage to drag out a cable review to over 1000 words. Just kidding; hopefully, you will find this review very informative.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.4

IT is a silicone stretcher with both a funny background story and an unusual look

John Thomas Toys were worried that I might be getting bored throughout England's third lockdown, so they let sent me a couple of toys to keep myself "busy".

I was surprised when three heavy boxes arrived. As they were a new design, I was told the names but had no idea what they would look like.

"The whole dildo is stimulation heaven, it rubs my walls wonderfully as it goes in and out. Give it a little twist and my toes were curling."

Joanne

I had to really restrain myself not to open the boxes at home before filming the unboxing video for you to watch. I must say it was not an easy feat, and so Stuntcock just locked them away :-)

While John Thomas Toys were kind enough to package the dildo's into separate boxes, I still felt sorry for the postie. Each box weighs a lot, just imagine four hefty silicone dildos in each box.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.0

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