My Sex Life With Fibromyalgia

Written by  Apr 02, 2020

Fibromyalgia is a condition that causes widespread pain and extreme tiredness.

Ok, so the first thing I need to say is that most people with Fibromyalgia may have different symptoms. This post details my struggle with it and how I cope. There is no cure or easy solution to the constant pain, stiffness and other symptoms, and it's undoubtedly not something that I would wish on anyone.

In some respects, I am quite lucky though, while I'm on a lot of pain meds and do walk with crutches, or need to use a wheelchair over longer distances. I can still walk with crutches, and the pain meds do help slightly, and I also only suffer from mild fibro-fog (yes, that is a real term).

Luckily the fibro-fog is something that is not a constant for me, so I can just stop writing, and come back later to finish and edit what I am working on as needed.


Don't get me wrong I do have some terrible days, and then there are better days. I live for the better days, just day to day business contributes to making my condition worse.

I have learnt how to best try to reduce making things worse though. I do this by pacing myself on the good days, making sure I take my meds and a variety of other coping techniques that I am not going to bore you with. Unfortunately, this does not stop my symptoms.

One very annoying factor to the treatment for Fibro is the pain medication that does actually list "loss of sex drive" as a side effect. So I not only need to find a way to work around the pain, but also this loss of drive (just great for a sex toy reviewer LOL). I just look at it as yet another challenge to overcome.

Over the years, I have found several methods to help combat these issues. If the pain is terrible, then I do have to wait for another day, but depending on my pain levels, I have found different ways to play.

For example, E-stim is fantastic when I am not doing too well, I can also use it as a tens machine with pads to help at times when in constant pain. Yes, e-stim can have medical benefits by helping to numb nerves if used in specific configurations. It is also a fantastic way for me to get off, and I love my e-stim kit for that reason. I am very fortunate to have been able to do so many e-stim kit reviews.


A fucking machine is another way that I can enjoy toys when I am struggling, as I just need to line everything up and keep hold of the controller. Having said that I do still need to change positions regularly. This is also an excellent way for me to really test out dildos and lubes that I am reviewing. Nothing beats a high-speed fucking machine session to test out a lubes qualities LOL.

I can also connect some vibrators to adaptors which allow me to attach them. A good lube is absolutely paramount when playing with my machines. I have also learnt that you don't have to feel horny before you play to enjoy the playtime itself. This is why a good lube is essential, and it's amazing how much I actually go through. Does anyone fancy topping up my supplies? Of course, it does not take too much playing for me to begin really enjoying myself, and fully appreciating the toy I am using.

On good days the vibrators and handheld toys come out to play. Again, I have had to learn various ways of relieving the pressure on my joints, but I make it work. It is incredible how imaginative you can be when needed.

Even with all the challenges, I still love reviewing and blogging. My site gives me something to focus on, and I get so excited when the "post person" brings me something new to review.

It's always hard not to open the toy box seal to try the new toy before I have taken any pictures though. I can be so impatient at times.

I am always determined to get the images taken as quickly as possible for my reviews. So that I can get the toy charged fully (if needed), and can start playing (oops I mean reviewing) as soon as possible.


I love reviewing products and being disabled myself it gives me an insight into how other less-able people can appreciate products. I will never let my Fibromyalgia beat me, it knocks me down often, but I always get back up again, dust myself off (and grab a bottle of lube).

If you are fighting a long term medical condition, I feel for you. If you aren't then long may, that continue, but please spare a second thought for those of us for whom just normal life is a struggle.

If you have a disability, why not share your experiences with sex toys in the comment form below. Do you have any particular coping mechanisms that you use to boost your libido? I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject.

Life as a sex toy reviewer with Fibromyalgia can be a challenge, see how Joanne copes. Click to Tweet
Published in Blog


  • Lawman
    Comment Link Lawman Saturday, 11 April 2020 16:23

    Joanne, Thank you for writing this. You are a such wonderful person and this story makes me admire you that much more. You do so much for the kink and estim communities. Every time I see you name mentioned it is always accompanied by a "she is such a delightful lady and does so much" type of comment. I am so glad you wrote this. You inspire us all. I do not suffer from any sort of debilitating condition but just reading this lightens my heart. I know that sounds weird but people need to know that life is what you make of it and if it throws you zingers then you catch them and throw them right back. If you keep the zingers and desire to be a sick, sad and miserable person then that is what you will be. But if you chose to throw the zingers back, make the best of it, enjoy life and have fun then that is what life will be for you. I am glad you have chosen the latter and live life to the fullest. My sister-in-law is a few years older than my wife. She has fibromyalgia (amongst other things) and chooses the former. She is no longer able to care for herself because she refuses to do anything but be miserable (she is also a miserable person to be around). Even though as I grow older and my body is slowing me down, I still choose to enjoy every day to its fullest. This is one reason why I have not been out since 9 Mar. I do not want that crap, there is still fun left in this body. That and my kids won’t let me out either because they have projects they need done lol! Really, they will not let me out. People ask me how my wife and I look so young. I tell them " sex, drugs and rock-n-roll, legal prescription drugs." Thank you Joanne!

  • Joanne Summers
    Comment Link Joanne Summers Saturday, 11 April 2020 17:35

    Thank you for your kind words Lawman, my blog gives me something to focus on, and it keeps me as active as I can be. My attitude is the same as yours; I could roll over and feel sorry for myself or I can fight to stay as active as I can - I choose the latter.

    Don't get me wrong; I have days when I can't even get out of bed as the pain is so bad I feel sick. Luckily I have more days when I can cope and do as much as I can. I am a #spoonie, and for anyone who hasn't heard that term before. It is a way of quantifying how much energy and capability you have. So, say I only have a small amount of both, everything I do takes a spoonful, slowly exhausting the supply over the day.

    I choose my activities wisely to make the best use of what I can do. Feedback like yours makes it all worthwhile. It is nice to know that some people in the community like what I do and comment as such. Without people reading what I do, it would be a wasted effort, and it is my readers that spur me on to do what I do - thank you to everyone.

    At the moment I am relatively mobile, in the future it is likely I will be confined to a wheelchair but I will fight that for as long as I can.

    I hid my disabilities here on my blog for the first three years of doing it. The worry about not being accepted as producing valuable advice and articles when you are disabled is real. But I now realise that as I am less-abled (I hate the term disabled), I can act as a role model and maybe even an inspiration for others struggling with day to day life.

    Thank you to everyone who reads my site or follows me on social media, you are all my inspiration, and your comments do me an unbelievable amount of good.

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