Living With A Disability Especially One That Affects Your Sex Drive
  • Posted

Living With A Disability Especially One That Affects Your Sex Drive

It can be hard living with a disability, especially when you review sex toys

This is an article that I have been thinking about writing for a long time now but it brings up so many strong emotions in me it's extremely difficult to write. I apologise if I tend to meander through the subject but I have no intention in wallowing in self pity within its bounds. It will help me to write down these thoughts and feelings as I come to terms with my personal disabilities and how they affect me.

I wasn't born with a disability, well except for a dark sense of humour but that has definitely come in handy. My teenage years and early marriage were like everyone else's. It had its high points and also its low points. My career was in education and I loved it, no, I lived to help and educate others and it's an incredibly rewarding profession.

When I started with my current problems it really hit me hard as I immediately had to give up my career. Basically because of medical procedures and my inability to stand and teach. Yes, I know that you can continue in that field in a wheelchair but I suffer from chronic pain associated with my disability and it simply makes working in a classroom environment untenable. Initially, I suffered from long periods of depression and refused help, which in hindsight was a big mistake. I wish that I had allowed those around me to help.

I love to sketchI threw myself into hobbies, drawing and eventually reviewing adult products. I have kept my disabilities a private thing as I hate being looked down upon as a second class human being. It's natural and something that I don't hold against people but often when able-bodied people see someone in a wheelchair lots of them don't know how to react. I don't need or want sympathy, I just want to be treated as an equal which is why up until now people don't know about my condition unless they have met me.

Reviewing and blogging are the two things that I live for and they have both changed my life for the better. My site is all my own work, even the design and html behind it, I have learnt a heck of a lot over these past two and a half years.

I am not wheelchair bound (yet) but need one when out and about as I can't physically walk far having had both knees replaced. The operations didn't go as planned and it has left me with chronic pain which some days in unbearable but I live for the good days when I can make do with crutches.

Living with my new condition has given me a lot of respect for anyone who carries or was born with a disability as even the smallest things can be an uphill task. I couldn't play with my kids in the park or walk with them through woods or up hills. I feel that in some way I let them down but I know I didn't, however you can't help regretting some things.

I get through each day as it comes. Some days I have to sit or lay in agony all day whilst on other days I can live a relatively normal life. I tend to plan and micro-manage things that everyone takes for granted. For me to travel it means planning a route where I can take plenty of stops in the car as it actually hurts to sit still as well as to move. I can't drive for longer than about 30 minutes and so I get to miss out on blogger and reviewer get togethers and that hurts.

Today was a low day for me. A wonderful company that I follow opened a brick and mortar store today and it was like a magnet to some of my favourite reviewers online. I couldn't attend though because, well because I am who I am and I have to live with that. I missed out on meeting some of my online friends purely because I am not able-bodied and that hurts.

I'm going to carry on fighting my condition which is only going to get worse over time leading to me eventually being totally wheelchair bound. I will not let it get the better of me though. My mind is still sharp (some may argue that point LOL) and inside I am the same person I was years ago. My body may be failing but I am not.

Coping Mechanisms

I turn my problem into lots of little solutionsChronic pain and lack of mobility are terrible and I cope as best I can using lots of little tricks (and painkillers) that may help others I hope.

I plan, I plan a lot actually. I have to have the right meds at the right time of day (and I take a lot) so a trip is a major expedition. Planning helps remove anxiety about the trip and it helps prevent mishaps. If you are in a similar boat to me then take the time to logically think things through.

Get hobbies, not "A hobby", there are days when you can't focus on one thing but you can on something else so always have something to strive for.

Be careful who you tell about your disability as some people will look down on you because of it.

Give yourself time to grieve about your disability, it can be a life-changing event that has huge implications so it's going to knock you for six. So take time to adjust.

Try not to punish yourself too much if you snap with someone, I'm sure that they will understand. If they don't then so be it, you can't put on a brave face all the time, you are what matters most.

Don't be afraid to ask for help, we all need help sometimes.

Accept help but look to others if your helpers are condescending or patronising. You need help, not to be looked down upon.

I turn my problem into lots of little solutionsDon't get upset or surprised when people say "you are brave", it's meant as a compliment, even though if you are like me you just want to be treated as an equal.

Accept your disability, but don't let it rule your life. There is a workaround for everything and make it your goal to beat your disability in some way every day.

You will have dark days when depression sets in, learn to recognise the early symptoms and get help from a friend - talking helps a lot.

Enjoy and maximise what you can still do, focus on the positive things in your life and not the negative.

Do your best, you didn't choose your disability but you can choose to fight it and to better yourself both mentally and physically where you are able.

Sex With Disabilities

When you have the horn there is always a way and so experiment. One of the reasons why I like fucking machines is that for me it is a great way to enjoy myself without having to open my legs wide. A disability restricts you but it doesn't control you

I enjoy masturbation (no shit Sherlock) and I haven't found a sex toy that I can't use. I might use sex toys in positions that you wouldn't think of as normal but I am going to enjoy them one way or another.

With my condition some days are simply a "no" due to the pain, on those days I tend to research sex toys and write articles. On the good days, I make up for it. You can tell it's been a good day as the sheets are in the washing machine. I need some Sheets Of SanFrancisco bedding LOL.

Sex with your partner requires communication and understanding, things that we take for granted when able-bodied can be show stoppers to someone with a disability. Communication is key to working things through together. Remember that your disability affects your partner as well and so you need to show some understanding and compassion too.

Foreplay is incredibly important if you suffer a painful condition as you just might not get aroused as quickly as you used to. Learn what makes your body tick and learn the art of pleasuring yourself. Don't be shy get a mirror and examine yourself.

The Future

I made a big decision earlier this year and that was that I am going to attend Eroticon in London in 2018 and I have scraped the pennies together to buy my tickets (one for me and one for my partner). I have absolutely no idea how I am going to afford to get there or to stay in a disabled friendly hotel in London but that's a problem I still have a few months to work on.

I decided that I need to attend to up my writing game and also to meet some of my idols. I will be there in my wheelchair and everyone will have to take me as I am or ignore me. I am not going to change and I am going to find out who my friends really are LOL. Most people have no idea and the look of shock on their face when I roll up to them in a wheelchair is priceless.

Eroticon is going to be a huge emotional roller coaster for me but I am ready for it, I am going to fight to get down there and to enjoy myself to the max.

My future is pretty much set in stone, eventually, the wheelchair will be permanent but as there is nothing that I can do to change that I am not letting that worry me. I will continue living for today and we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Reviewing

So if any companies want their wares reviewed by a charismatic reviewer (with wheels) then get in touch. I prefer to think of myself as not disabled but just differently-abled.

I promise not to bite, but I do have a tendency to roll over peoples toes, so be warned.


Found Something Useful, Or Do You Just Like What I Do?
Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com


Leave a comment

ALL COMMENTS ARE REVIEWED PRIOR TO PUBLICATION!
This is to prevent spammers from touting their wares on my site. If you are a spammer then please save both your time and mine by not bothering, as your posts will never be approved and no one will see them anyway. They will be simply deleted.

Latest Reviews

October 15, 2019

Ann Summers Whisper Rabbit Vibrator Review

in Vibrators
Another fun rabbit vibe from Ann Summers I am such a lucky reviewer. Ann Summers sent me two of their latest vibrators to review, and this is the second one. I also had a lot of fun reviewing their Whisper Bullet Vibrator, which has just been released as… Read More
October 14, 2019

Ann Summers Whisper Bullet Vibrator Review

in Vibrators
A delightful little bullet vibe that packs a punch I was delighted when Ann Summers sent me one of their newest vibrators to review before its launch. It is so lovely to be one of the first people to try out a new toy. They sent me two vibrators to review,… Read More
Oct 06, 2019

ElectroWhisker Monopole Estim Electrode From E-Stim Systems

in E-Stim
Super sexy tingly skin play fun with this fun electrode Now it is no secret that I adore… Read More
Oct 01, 2019

Rhea Silicone Dildo From Ylva And Dite

in Dildos
A dildo with sublime texture and changes in girth that feels amazing Woohoo! I have found… Read More

Recent Articles

September 06, 2019

The Rise of VR Porn

VR Porn is taking the internet by storm, here's how to get in on the action? Two months ago, VRPorn.com announced that it has officially surpassed 100 million users. That is a lot of kinky people looking for VR Porn. Any website would be more than happy with… Read More
June 05, 2019

This Secret Sex Trick Will Have Your Lover Begging You For More

You dream of a passionate love life, but a busy lifestyle and stress has other plans for you. If your sex life needs a little boost, there’s a secret sex trick that will leave you and your lover panting for more. Get steamy in the bedroom and introduce this… Read More
May 30, 2019

Buying Sex Toys On A Budget

You can enjoy a body safe wank on a budget I don't need to preach to anyone about how… Read More
Mar 24, 2019

Best Male Milking Machines

The best machines for hands free orgasms, or, a posh wank I am often asked which is the… Read More

Latest Blog Posts

October 18, 2019

Chasing an E-stim Hands-Free Orgasm

in Blog
If the thought of enjoying a hands-free orgasm piques your interest, then read on Since being introduced to Electrosex or E-stim by Mick from E-Stim Systems four years ago, I have relished the hands-free orgasms that it can deliver. I started off using the… Read More
October 10, 2019

Erofame 2019 - Day 2 Pounding The Boards And Making New Friends

in Blog
Erofame is Europe's biggest adult trade show and we are bang in the middle of it After a lovely evening and a good nights sleep, it was on to day 2 of Erofame over in Hannover in Germany. Our first day saw us visiting companies that we love and have worked… Read More
Oct 09, 2019

Erofame 2019 - Day 1 Checking In With Old Friends

in Blog
Erofame is Europe's biggest adult trade show and we are in the middle of it After a… Read More
Sep 29, 2019

Deviant Designs - Kink Personified

in Blog
Deviant Designs focusses on kink and BDSM related projects that are amazing I have been… Read More
×
0
Shares
0
Shares