Living With A Disability Especially One That Affects Your Sex Drive
  • Posted
  • Read 3148 times

Living With A Disability Especially One That Affects Your Sex Drive

It can be hard living with a disability, especially when you review sex toys

This is an article that I have been thinking about writing for a long time now but it brings up so many strong emotions in me it's extremely difficult to write. I apologise if I tend to meander through the subject but I have no intention in wallowing in self pity within its bounds. It will help me to write down these thoughts and feelings as I come to terms with my personal disabilities and how they affect me.

I wasn't born with a disability, well except for a dark sense of humour but that has definitely come in handy. My teenage years and early marriage were like everyone else's. It had its high points and also its low points. My career was in education and I loved it, no, I lived to help and educate others and it's an incredibly rewarding profession.

When I started with my current problems it really hit me hard as I immediately had to give up my career. Basically because of medical procedures and my inability to stand and teach. Yes, I know that you can continue in that field in a wheelchair but I suffer from chronic pain associated with my disability and it simply makes working in a classroom environment untenable. Initially, I suffered from long periods of depression and refused help, which in hindsight was a big mistake. I wish that I had allowed those around me to help.

I love to sketchI threw myself into hobbies, drawing and eventually reviewing adult products. I have kept my disabilities a private thing as I hate being looked down upon as a second class human being. It's natural and something that I don't hold against people but often when able-bodied people see someone in a wheelchair lots of them don't know how to react. I don't need or want sympathy, I just want to be treated as an equal which is why up until now people don't know about my condition unless they have met me.

Reviewing and blogging are the two things that I live for and they have both changed my life for the better. My site is all my own work, even the design and html behind it, I have learnt a heck of a lot over these past two and a half years.

I am not wheelchair bound (yet) but need one when out and about as I can't physically walk far having had both knees replaced. The operations didn't go as planned and it has left me with chronic pain which some days in unbearable but I live for the good days when I can make do with crutches.

Living with my new condition has given me a lot of respect for anyone who carries or was born with a disability as even the smallest things can be an uphill task. I couldn't play with my kids in the park or walk with them through woods or up hills. I feel that in some way I let them down but I know I didn't, however you can't help regretting some things.

I get through each day as it comes. Some days I have to sit or lay in agony all day whilst on other days I can live a relatively normal life. I tend to plan and micro-manage things that everyone takes for granted. For me to travel it means planning a route where I can take plenty of stops in the car as it actually hurts to sit still as well as to move. I can't drive for longer than about 30 minutes and so I get to miss out on blogger and reviewer get togethers and that hurts.

Today was a low day for me. A wonderful company that I follow opened a brick and mortar store today and it was like a magnet to some of my favourite reviewers online. I couldn't attend though because, well because I am who I am and I have to live with that. I missed out on meeting some of my online friends purely because I am not able-bodied and that hurts.

I'm going to carry on fighting my condition which is only going to get worse over time leading to me eventually being totally wheelchair bound. I will not let it get the better of me though. My mind is still sharp (some may argue that point LOL) and inside I am the same person I was years ago. My body may be failing but I am not.

Coping Mechanisms

I turn my problem into lots of little solutionsChronic pain and lack of mobility are terrible and I cope as best I can using lots of little tricks (and painkillers) that may help others I hope.

I plan, I plan a lot actually. I have to have the right meds at the right time of day (and I take a lot) so a trip is a major expedition. Planning helps remove anxiety about the trip and it helps prevent mishaps. If you are in a similar boat to me then take the time to logically think things through.

Get hobbies, not "A hobby", there are days when you can't focus on one thing but you can on something else so always have something to strive for.

Be careful who you tell about your disability as some people will look down on you because of it.

Give yourself time to grieve about your disability, it can be a life-changing event that has huge implications so it's going to knock you for six. So take time to adjust.

Try not to punish yourself too much if you snap with someone, I'm sure that they will understand. If they don't then so be it, you can't put on a brave face all the time, you are what matters most.

Don't be afraid to ask for help, we all need help sometimes.

Accept help but look to others if your helpers are condescending or patronising. You need help, not to be looked down upon.

I turn my problem into lots of little solutionsDon't get upset or surprised when people say "you are brave", it's meant as a compliment, even though if you are like me you just want to be treated as an equal.

Accept your disability, but don't let it rule your life. There is a workaround for everything and make it your goal to beat your disability in some way every day.

You will have dark days when depression sets in, learn to recognise the early symptoms and get help from a friend - talking helps a lot.

Enjoy and maximise what you can still do, focus on the positive things in your life and not the negative.

Do your best, you didn't choose your disability but you can choose to fight it and to better yourself both mentally and physically where you are able.

Sex With Disabilities

When you have the horn there is always a way and so experiment. One of the reasons why I like fucking machines is that for me it is a great way to enjoy myself without having to open my legs wide. A disability restricts you but it doesn't control you

I enjoy masturbation (no shit Sherlock) and I haven't found a sex toy that I can't use. I might use sex toys in positions that you wouldn't think of as normal but I am going to enjoy them one way or another.

With my condition some days are simply a "no" due to the pain, on those days I tend to research sex toys and write articles. On the good days, I make up for it. You can tell it's been a good day as the sheets are in the washing machine. I need some Sheets Of SanFrancisco bedding LOL.

Sex with your partner requires communication and understanding, things that we take for granted when able-bodied can be show stoppers to someone with a disability. Communication is key to working things through together. Remember that your disability affects your partner as well and so you need to show some understanding and compassion too.

Foreplay is incredibly important if you suffer a painful condition as you just might not get aroused as quickly as you used to. Learn what makes your body tick and learn the art of pleasuring yourself. Don't be shy get a mirror and examine yourself.

The Future

I made a big decision earlier this year and that was that I am going to attend Eroticon in London in 2018 and I have scraped the pennies together to buy my tickets (one for me and one for my partner). I have absolutely no idea how I am going to afford to get there or to stay in a disabled friendly hotel in London but that's a problem I still have a few months to work on.

I decided that I need to attend to up my writing game and also to meet some of my idols. I will be there in my wheelchair and everyone will have to take me as I am or ignore me. I am not going to change and I am going to find out who my friends really are LOL. Most people have no idea and the look of shock on their face when I roll up to them in a wheelchair is priceless.

Eroticon is going to be a huge emotional roller coaster for me but I am ready for it, I am going to fight to get down there and to enjoy myself to the max.

My future is pretty much set in stone, eventually, the wheelchair will be permanent but as there is nothing that I can do to change that I am not letting that worry me. I will continue living for today and we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Reviewing

So if any companies want their wares reviewed by a charismatic reviewer (with wheels) then get in touch. I prefer to think of myself as not disabled but just differently-abled.

I promise not to bite, but I do have a tendency to roll over peoples toes, so be warned.


Found Something Useful, Or Do You Just Like What I Do?
Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com


Leave a comment

All comments are reviewed before publication to prevent spammers from touting their wares on my site. If you are a spammer then please save both your time and mine by not bothering as your posts will never be approved and will be simply deleted.

Go to Page:  1  2  3  4  5  6  7 

Today I Upgraded My 2B Estim Control Box Firmware

It was so simple to upgrade my 2B E-stim control boxes firmware! One of the features of the 2B Control Box (read my review of it here) from E-Stim Systems is its upgradeability. Unlike other popular control boxes like the Erostek ET312B Power Unit, it is always in constant development. There have been four firmware updates this year so far, and the latest adds a number of new features and routines. I am lucky enough to be able to test pre-...

Continue Reading

I Am Delighted To Be Working With Honour.co.uk

Breaking news! Honour is a huge brand based in London and they have two physical shops together with their rather amazing website that is stocked with all sorts of kinky products. I was delighted when they got in touch with me asking if I would review some things for them and also if I would mind making some recommendations for beginners and more experienced kinksters alike. Having looked through their incredible range of products I have...

Continue Reading

Hot Octopuss Launches JETT, its Customisable Guybrator™ with Treble and Bass Technology

Breaking news! Today Hot Octopuss, creators of the ‘World’s First Guybrator’, has launched a new product, JETT. Their first guybrator, PULSE and POCKET PULSE, won a lot of awards but it carries quite a high price, this new product is just £49.99/$69/E49 though. It is worn just below the tip of the penis and is driven by two powerful bullets, one Treble and one Bass–you can adjust each bullet for a fully customisable experience. It has a ...

Continue Reading

Stolen Content

Not on sexmachinereviews.co.uk? If you are reading this article on any website other than my own www.sexmachinereviews.co.uk, then the site you are reading it on has stolen it. Probably adding in links to nefarious sites and basically robbing me of my earnings. My name is Joanne and my blog doesn't generate much money, but that is beside the point. I work damn hard at what I do, and everything that you see and read on my own site www.sexmac...

Continue Reading

Ovis - Erotic Fiction

Guest Post I am delighted to be able to host this rather surprising story from a friend of mine who wants to remain anonymous. Ovis By Anon I have felt for some time now like someone is watching me. It is a weird, hair stand up on the back of my neck kind of creepy. I have no reason to feel like this. I have made myself more aware of my surroundings. I have not noticed anyone that I see close by all the time, no vehicle...

Continue Reading

Chrome Deco Dual Ixu Violet Wand

Violet Wand play can be shockingly good fun Since I bought and reviewed an Electro Erotic Neon Wand kit from Lovehoney we have all been smitten by it. For something that can evoke really raw emotions, it is an incredible way to get off. Yes, the thought of playing with 40,000V - 50,000V is terrifying but when you actually look into it, violet wand play is one of the safest forms of electro play. My Stunt Cock has really got into using it...

Continue Reading

Lodbrock Giveaway Competition

Start the New Year with some kink I have just reviewed the amazing Pillory Set from Lodbrock, and inside this fantastic set you get two impact play toys. A leather Paddle and a Leather Flogger. Lodbrock has sent me an extra one of each to give away to two lucky readers. So if you fancy getting your hands on these fantastic handmade BDSM implements just enter the two competitions shown below. This has enabled me to offer the following ...

Continue Reading

Love Machine For Two People Lm42p

There is a new fucking machine in development How does a double sided fucking machine with a two year warranty and a thrust depth of upto 7"/18cm sound?. Lm42p (Love Machines For Two People) have created just that, a quiet, controllable and unique machine that can be used on your own or with a partner or friend. Supplied in a nice wooden storage box that contains the machine and all of its atatchments which is 35 x 24 x 18 cm. Insipred by t...

Continue Reading

The Pornocalypse Continues - Tumblr Bans Adult Content

Here we go again, this time it's Tumblr We can all sleep safer in our beds at night, on December the 17th Tumblr will join a long list of sites that got rich and popular through adult content but then turned their back on it. Yes, Tumblr is the latest site to join the Pornopocalypse by banning adult content. But it will protect the children I hear some people cry. No, no it won't, this drives things further underground. Worse excellent cont...

Continue Reading

Erofame 2018 - Day 2 More Jam Than Robinsons Jam Factory

Day 2 at Erofame Stunt cock here again with another Erofame update after day 2 of the trade show. What a day we have had, it has been a roller coaster of a ride, and we are both sat here with throbbing feet but huge grins on our faces. So without further ado let me tell you about day 2. We started early with another healthy breakfast (for sub'r' that is, I opted for the heart clogger special again). After breakfast, we went back to our room...

Continue Reading

Erofame 2018 - Day 1 And We Need A Wheel Barrow

Our first visit to Erofame Stunt Cock here again, after a good nights sleep (slept like a log, after all, that driving yesterday) it was time to sample a good hearty breakfast before getting on the happy bus to Erofame. But first we had to get out things ready for the day. After packing my day bag with notes, business cards and some drinks we headed down for breakfast. Our breakfast was pretty amazing, and I have to post a pic of it. Nat...

Continue Reading

Erofame 2018 - The Journey To Europe's Largest Sex Toy Trade Show

Our first visit to Erofame Stunt Cock, here again. For anyone not aware, Erofame is Europes largest adult industry trade show, and this year we planned to visit it to show our faces and also to plug our blog and reviews shamelessly - well why wouldn't you if you could? The timing though presented some problems for us as Joanne has a consultants visit planned for the middle of the Erofame week so she couldn't come along. However, she decided...

Continue Reading
Go to Page:  1  2  3  4  5  6  7 

Latest Reviews

February 21, 2019

Eros Aqua Water-based Lubricant Review

in Lube Reviews
Who doesn't like the idea of lube in a bottle that you can fuck? With so many lubes on the market, it can often be hard to find which one will work best for you. That is one reason why I love writing lube reviews. It is always nice to try a new lube and as I… Read More
February 20, 2019

Gring Finger Vibe From Gvibe

in Vibrators
Powerful vibrations at your fingertips I am pretty excited about this little finger vibe from Gvibe, it packs a lot of features into a small form. As well as being a fun little finger vibe it has an unusual extra feature - it can be used as a remote control… Read More
Feb 18, 2019

So Divine ‘Addicted’ Love Egg With Remote Control

in Vibrators
Fantastic for teasing a partner or just using on your own I was so excited when So Divine… Read More

Recent Articles

August 27, 2018 3954

Experiencing Burning Or Stinging When Stimming?

Here are some pointers to smooth things out a bit Stinging or burning is often caused by either having too much power going through an electrode or having your electrode too small. Other things can also create this sort of problem, and I will cover those… Read More
July 05, 2018 7961

What is a DDLG relationship?

You might be surprised by the DDLG scene when you learn more about it First off, I can pretty much guarantee that at least 90% of the people reading this post will have either never heard of a DDLG relationship or have lots of misconceptions about them. "I… Read More
Jun 11, 2018 11353

Male And Female Chastity Belts & Cock Cages

The thought of being locked in chastity really turns me one Chastity is a subject that… Read More

Latest Blog Posts

February 22, 2019

Today I Upgraded My 2B Estim Control Box Firmware

in Blog
It was so simple to upgrade my 2B E-stim control boxes firmware! One of the features of the 2B Control Box (read my review of it here) from E-Stim Systems is its upgradeability. Unlike other popular control boxes like the Erostek ET312B Power Unit, it is… Read More
February 21, 2019

I Am Delighted To Be Working With Honour.co.uk

in Blog
Breaking news! Honour is a huge brand based in London and they have two physical shops together with their rather amazing website that is stocked with all sorts of kinky products. I was delighted when they got in touch with me asking if I would review some… Read More
Feb 15, 2019

Hot Octopuss Launches JETT, its Customisable Guybrator™ with Treble and Bass Technology

in Blog
Breaking news! Today Hot Octopuss, creators of the ‘World’s First Guybrator’, has… Read More
×