How To Introduce Your Partner To E-Stim

May 30, 2020

If you want to introduce your partner to e-stim then read on

So, here's the premise, you love e-stim. Stimming is one of your favourite ways of getting off, the hands-free orgasms blow you away, and you want to share your excitement about this masturbatory practice with your partner.

But how do you broach the subject without scaring them off? That is the million-dollar question and one that I will be discussing in this article.


You know your partner better than anyone, so you need to find a way to broach the subject. Honesty is the best policy as far as I am concerned, and so I believe your best bet is to initiate a conversation on the topic.

Start with a simple "Have you heard about e-stim?"

Orgasms come from our brainsYou never know, they may say yes. If not, then here are a few pointers of things to talk about:

  1. Our nervous system runs on electricity, and every sensation we feel is a process of an electrical signal transmitted from our nerves to our brain.
  2. Electrostimulation using "SAFE" equipment can tap into this system in a very pleasurable way.
  3. Orgasms are not generated in our genitals; they come from our brain's interpretation of sensations from our genitals through our nervous system.
  4. E-stim can compliment masturbation by stimulating these nerves.

Don't pressure your partner about trying e-stim, if they don't want to give it a go then accept that. Consent is essential in any relationship, and pressuring others to do what you want is never good or acceptable.

But, hopefully, armed with all the information, your partner will probably want to at least try it for themselves if they can get over their nerves.

Talking of Nerves

One of the biggest things to keep at the back of your mind is electricity is scary stuff. We are conditioned from a very early age that electricity can be dangerous if used improperly, but by using made-for-play equipment, those risks can be mitigated.

Explanation: Electricity isn't always dangerous — a static-electricity shock is thousands of volts, but is relatively harmless, usually eliciting only colourful language.

So the meer thought of attaching wires to our genitals to send electricity through them is enough to induce a mild panic attack in some people. Nerves are real, and it is natural to be wary or even scared of using electricity on our junk.

It would be best if you stressed that e-stim equipment is designed to be both safe to use (following some simple rules) and extremely pleasurable too. Check out these 10 E-Stim Safety Tips from my Stunt Cock.


Ideally, you would introduce your partner to the electrical impulses that e-stim equipment generates on a part of their body other than their genitals.

Let your partner feel the sensations; this will reduce their nerves and stress levels around using it "down below".

I suggest placing a bipolar electrode on their shin or instep. These areas are widely recommended test locations (neither has any muscles; forearm placements easily can activate motor nerves instead of sensory nerves, and a newbie undoubtedly won't enjoy unexpected muscle contractions). The shin is relatively insensitive; while the instep is more-sensitive.

Please give them the controls and talk them through the basic functions of your control box. They can then slowly increase the output power until they feel the signals.

This is an excellent way to break the ice. You want to introduce them to how the signals feel on their skin without overwhelming them.

Giving them the control allows them to drop the power levels immediately if needed, and to experiment with the sensations. This is important to reduce their nerves and stress levels while being introduced to e-stim signals.

Knowing what to expect is crucial during their first play session with e-stim. It will mean that they can relax more, and that will enable them to concentrate on the sensations without being tense and too nervous.


Show your partner your equipment and talk about its functions and what things like different electrodes feel like.

If you enjoy masturbating in front of each other or together, why not offer to let them watch you use your equipment?

You may find that seeing you use it allays any fears about using the equipment themselves, they can ask questions, and you can enjoy it together.

Show your partner how you use your equipment
Why not show your partner how you enjoy your equipment?

First Play Session

If your partner agrees to integrate some e-stim play into your play sessions, don't take that lightly.

It's a huge thing, and they are placing their trust in you. Make this first session all about them and not you. This first play session will be make or break as far as taking up e-stim is concerned, so go out of your way to ensure that it's a success.

Remove distractions and enjoy some foreplay together before moving on to the e-stim play.

Again keep things simple, for a first play session try monopole pads, or for penis owners, use cock loops or monopole pads. You could use an insertable bipolar electrode if your partner wants to, but I'd stick with as simple a set-up as possible.

Attached electrodes on your partner and give them the control box. Talk them through switching it on and the settings and then let them experiment.

My advice is to stress slowly upping the power levels until they are just felt and then waiting until your partner is accustomed to them before gradually increasing the power.

Hopefully, they will get more adventurous and want to try other settings and modes on the control box.

Don't go for an orgasm on this first session as it just may not come due to nerves and stress, having one is a bonus though. The whole aim for your first session is to get your partners head around the fact it doesn't hurt and more importantly, that it can feel amazing.

If they do orgasm then excellent, they will probably be hooked there and then.

If they don't or can't orgasm, then put the e-stim kit to one side and enjoy each other as you normally would.

After the session is over, talk about how it went. What did it feel like for them? Tell them how exciting was it seeing them using it.

Hopefully, they will want to try it again.

Take things slow and steady, literally one step at a time
Take things slow and steady, literally one step at a time


The most important thing is communication and respect. You partner will have a thousand questions about the subject, so be prepared to patiently answer all of their questions to the best of your ability.

Electrostimulation is a genuinely scary prospect for most people, so give your partner both support and time to consider giving it a go.

Don't expect the sparks to fly on your first session with it; the aim is to alleviate nerves and relax your partner. Orgasms will come if they continue playing with it, and if you can enjoy playing together, then there is nothing better than being able to share the fantastic sensations that e-stim can deliver.

Go slow and never pressure your partner.

Hopefully, this article has given you some ideas, but the ball is in your court as to how you broach the subject. But remember to be the tortoise rather than the hare with this one, and hopefully, you will get your partner into this kinky activity in good time.

Stay safe and happy stimming - to you both.

If you have any questions or fancy talking about e-stim then please do check out my kinky forum. For more in depth information about e-stim check out the amazing as it is a wealth of information about e-stim.

How do you introduce a partner to e-stim? Check out Joanne's thoughts on ways of doing so. Click to Tweet


  • Paul
    Comment Link Paul Tuesday, 16 June 2020 13:25

    Hi Joanne....having some issues with twitter......How are the new electrodes coming on and when on the market....and when can I buy them ;-)

    Hope you and yours are all well

    Paul xx

  • Joanne Summers
    Comment Link Joanne Summers Tuesday, 16 June 2020 22:59

    Hi Paul,

    Sorry to hear about your twitter woes. The new double cock loop electrode is now available in my shop here -



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