Reviews

Joannes Reviews I have a lot of fun reviewing sex toys and adult related products and I hope that you enjoy my reviews and find them useful. It is always good to see someone's opinion of an item before you consider parting with your hard earned cash.

Reviews
Uberlube Good To Go Travel Sized Silicone Lubricant 15ml Silver Review

Tagged under:

Review Lube Lubricant Uberlube Silicone

Overall Rating:
9.0

Uberlube Good To Go Travel Sized Silicone Lubricant 15ml Silver Review

Uberlube, lasts for ages and lives up to its name, it is ubertastic

While visiting Erofame in Hannover, Germany last year we were lucky enough to be handed some Uberlube to review.

We were given some samples along with a Good-To-Go Traveller Kit together with a 50ml Uberlube Bottle and some sample sachets and bottles.

"I now use it (a lot) due to its long-lasting properties. I especially enjoy using it when enjoying my fucking machines where I need an effective lube that will last. High-speed fucking sessions are so much fun with Uberlube."

Joanne

This is a silicone-based lubricant that actually has some surprising features and uses. Having used it for three months now, I am confident enough in its performance to tell you all about it.

Now, as "Über" is German for over or above, I had high hopes for Überlube. So let me tell you why I like this lube and why I love it, especially for my butt plugs and sex machines.

Bioskin™ Gcandy Sweet Raspberry Rabbit Vibrator Review

Tagged under:

Review Gvibe Silicone ABS Rechargeable Waterproof Rabbit Vibrator Vibe

Overall Rating:
9.2

Bioskin™ Gcandy Sweet Raspberry Rabbit Vibrator Review

Another lovely vibe from Gvibe in London

I always get super excited when Gvibe tell me they are sending me something in the post, and I was thrilled when I opened the box to find the new Gcandy.

I have reviewed lots of vibrators and but plugs from Gvibe, and I am always impressed by them, heck even the packaging gets my juices flowing.

"As a texture queen, I really enjoyed the deep ridges. They create genuinely great sensations when thrusting it in and out. While the soft texture allows you to squeeze the shaft without the discomfort, you might have with a solid toy. The silky feel of the silicone means that it slides in easily with only a small amount of water-based lube needed until your natural lubricants take over."

Joanne

In a market place saturated with rabbit style vibes, I hoped that Gvibe would once again not disappoint.

So, read on to find out what I think of the Gcandy.

Dreamlove Ritual Shushu Clitoral Suction Vibrator Review

This small clitoral suction vibrator packs a punch and looks so cute

When I was approached by Dreamlove to review a new clitoral stimulator before it has even been released in the UK, I was thrilled. So, of course, I jumped at the chance.

What is it? Well, it is a very nicely proportioned clitoral suction vibrator. It is new onto the market, and I couldn't wait to get my hands (and other bits) on it.

"I enjoyed playing with the vibrations to start with, then would switch to the suction for a while, before switching again. I found by changing back and forth I could fully enjoy the Shushu and prolong the fun I was experiencing."

Joanne

It arrived quickly and safely packed securely in a plain box. As it has not been released yet, it came wrapped in paper and decorated with a bow, placed in a sealed gift bag. Having no product packaging, I not able to comment on the retail packaging in this review but I have obtained a picture of it for you all.

No doubt you are all more interested in how it performs though rather than what it arrives in. So here are my thoughts on the Ritual Shushu toy itself, please read on...

Clone-A-Pussy Plus+ Hot Pink Kit Review - Joanne's Sex Machine Reviews

Tagged under:

Review Silicone Clone A Pussy Masturbator Kit

Overall Rating:
9.0

Clone-A-Pussy Plus+ Hot Pink Kit Review - Joanne's Sex Machine Reviews

Make a clone of your pussy and let someone enjoy using it

I had so much fun cloning my pussy a couple of years ago with a Clone-A-Pussy Kit that I was sent to review. At the end of the process, I could gaze at my own foof in all its glory.

I still use it as a paperweight on my work desk, and it has raised some awkward questions on several occasions.

"I loved having it used on me, and I have used it a couple of times on my own now, and it does the job. Obviously having sub'r' utilising a cast of her own pussy on my cock was the highlight."

Stunt Cock

Clone-a-pussy saw one of my social media posts about their kits, and they got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing one of their Plus+ kits.

Intrigued, I said yes, of course. I decided rather than clone my own pussy again, I would use this kit to clone my submissives pussy. I would then turn it into a masturbator for my partner to enjoy. So let's get cracking on this rather unusual review of this fun kit.

HiSmith Pro Traveler KlicLok Sex Machine Review

This pint sized fucking machine delivered some fantastic orgasms

As a lover of sex and fucking machines, I do like to keep myself abreast of developments in the market place where both are concerned. HiSmith is a dutch based company that I have long had my eyes upon. They are creating some fantastic looking fucking machines that are receiving excellent comments and feedback.

I have met them a couple of times at trade shows, where I was blown away by their range of machines. I was therefore delighted when they got in touch to ask if I would give their latest fucking machine a thorough reviewing.

"It spent five days at Eurodisney helping sub'r' to get over hard days of walking and enjoying herself. I can attest that it is perfect for anyone considering taking a fucking machine on holiday."

Joanne

Well, as you can imagine, I jumped at the chance, this is a fucking machine designed with travelling in mind. As luck would have it, I was about to send my Stunt Cock to EuroDisney with sub'r' for her birthday. So, it was the perfect opportunity to put this "traveler" to the test. No doubt they are both going straight to hell for using a fucking machine at Mickey Mouseland but live life to the full I say.

After taking this fucking machine on a real holiday and having used it myself upon their return, it is time to write up my thoughts about it. So, without further ado, here are my thoughts on the HiSmith Pro Traveler KlicLok Sex Machine.

John Thomas® Cleopatra's Candle Platinum Silicone Dildo Review

Tagged under:

Review Silicone Dildo Fantasy VacuLock SizeQueen JohnThomasToys

Overall Rating:
9.4

John Thomas® Cleopatra's Candle Platinum Silicone Dildo Review

A silicone dildo that will light up your masturbation sessions

Having recently really enjoyed reviewing the fantastic BEASTLI silicone dildo from John Thomas Toys, I jumped at the chance to review another.

When they got in touch saying they had an unusual dildo that I might enjoy, I have to admit being immediately curious and hooked. I hastily agreed, and they sent me the entire range of four Cleopatra's Candles.

"It's sort of like a Rubik's Cube for your pussy to try to solve. Wiggling back and forth getting the angle just right so it pops into you is a lot of fun, and it takes your breath away when it suddenly slides in."

Joanne

Yes, you read that right 'candles'. This is a dildo designed to look just like a candle, complete with wax running down the sides to give it some nice textures.

I could hardly contain my excitement when the doorbell rang with this latest batch of dildos from John Thomas Toys, so let me tell you all about them.

Wooden Paddle From Grateful Pain Review

Tagged under:

Review BDSM Impact Play Paddle Wood

Overall Rating:
8.6

Wooden Paddle From Grateful Pain Review

This delightful wooden paddle really left a mark on sub'r', in a nice way

Now anyone who reads my blog and my reviews know that I love my BDSM and especially impact play instruments.

So, you can imagine just how delighted when Grateful Pain got in touch. They asked me if I wanted to review one of their bespoke, hand made wooden paddles.

"Impacts from it are moderate to severe, you definitely know you have had a good paddling after a session with Paul the paddle. I love the sounds that it makes when it comes into contact with an upturned bottom."

Joanne

I replied so quickly to their message they may have thought the e-mail they sent had bounced. I jumped at the chance to add another paddle to my collection. And of course, I also looked forward to having the opportunity to use it on the delightful sub'r'. I also looked forward to having it used on my own behind too, of course.

So, let me tell you just how much we enjoyed this superb wooden paddle and why you should check out the craftsmanships of the Grateful Pain range of BDSM products.

MyStim Opus E Vaginal Version E-Stim Masturbator Review

Tagged under:

Review MyStim EStim Masturbator Bipolar 2mm TPE Electrode Electrosex

Overall Rating:
9.6

MyStim Opus E Vaginal Version E-Stim Masturbator Review

A e-stim masturbator that is shockingly good fun

Stunt CockStunt Cock putting his head in itStunt Cock here again for another penis centric review for Joanne. We have both had our eyes on the MyStim Opus E for ages now. There just don't seem to be any decent reviews of it around the net.

Having enjoyed meeting some of the MyStim staff at Erofame this year, I was delighted when they got in touch afterwards, asking if I would be interested in reviewing one of them. I think it was my "head in a vagina" stunt that swayed them.

"Orgasms when using it as an e-stim electrode are hard and ball crushingly powerfull. The first time I came using it as an electrode, I thought I had done myself some damage as I came so hard that my balls were aching afterwards."

Stunt Cock

I didn't have to wait long for the postman to bring me one to enjoy, I mean review.

So, if you fancy the idea of using a masturbator with a shockingly good extra feature then read on to see what I thought of it.

Ann Summers - Moregasm+ Petite Rampant Rabbit Review

Tagged under:

Review Silicone Rechargeable Ann Summers Rabbit Vibe Vibrator

Overall Rating:
9.0

Ann Summers - Moregasm+ Petite Rampant Rabbit Review

A petite rabbit with the performance of a lion

You know it's a good day when a new rampant rabbit vibrator arrives through the postbox from Ann Summers.

They sent me the Moregasm+ Petite Rampant Rabbit, and my submissive fell in love with it when she saw it. Like me, she just loves rabbit vibrators, and so I decided that this review was going to be hers to write.

"You can use a rabbit is all sorts of positions, I like to lay on my side and insert it before clamping my thighs together to hold it in place. If I then thrust my hips, I can vary the penetration and also the pressure on my clitoris to good effect."

sub'r'

She has now spent a few weeks getting to know the vibrator purely for reviewing purposes. I am sure she hasn't been enjoying herself too much.

She was, of course, delighted to be able to write another review on here for me. So without further ado, this is what sub'r' thought of this modestly proportioned rabbit vibe.

John Thomas® Toys BEASTLI Platinum Silicone Dildo Review

Tagged under:

Review Silicone Dildo Fantasy VacuLock SizeQueen JohnThomasToys

Overall Rating:
9.4

John Thomas® Toys BEASTLI Platinum Silicone Dildo Review

A texture lovers dream come true

Well, it isn't often that I get approached by a completely new sex toy manufacturer that are producing the kind of dildos that I love right here in the UK.

To say I was delighted when John Thomas Toys got in touch would be an understatement. They wanted me to review one of their newest creations, the Beastli Platinum Silicone Dildo.

"Both sub'r' and I have had a lot of fun getting to know the Beastli dildos with her enjoying the small and as I like a challenge I have been using the medium and the large (that was a squeeze I can tell you)."

Joanne

I obviously jumped at the chance to get my hands (and other parts of my anatomy) on these fantastic looking silicone fantasy dildos packed with really pronounced textures.

Looking like a cross between a Size Queen and a Texture Queens wettest dream, I could hardly contain my excitement as I waited for them to arrive.

Uberlube Good To Go Travel Sized Silicone Lubricant 15ml Silver Review

Uberlube, lasts for ages and lives up to its name, it is ubertastic While visiting Erofame in Hannover, Germany last year we were lucky enough to b...

Continue Reading

Dreamlove Ritual Shushu Clitoral Suction Vibrator Review

This small clitoral suction vibrator packs a punch and looks so cute When I was approached by Dreamlove to review a new clitoral stimulator before ...

Continue Reading

Bioskin™ Gcandy Sweet Raspberry Rabbit Vibrator Review

Another lovely vibe from Gvibe in London I always get super excited when Gvibe tell me they are sending me something in the post, and I was thrille...

Continue Reading

Clone-A-Pussy Plus+ Hot Pink Kit Review - Joanne's Sex Machine Reviews

Make a clone of your pussy and let someone enjoy using it I had so much fun cloning my pussy a couple of years ago with a Clone-A-Pussy Kit that I ...

Continue Reading

HiSmith Pro Traveler KlicLok Sex Machine Review

This pint sized fucking machine delivered some fantastic orgasms As a lover of sex and fucking machines, I do like to keep myself abreast of develo...

Continue Reading

John Thomas® Cleopatra's Candle Platinum Silicone Dildo Review

A silicone dildo that will light up your masturbation sessions Having recently really enjoyed reviewing the fantastic BEASTLI silicone dildo from J...

Continue Reading

Wooden Paddle From Grateful Pain Review

This delightful wooden paddle really left a mark on sub'r', in a nice way Now anyone who reads my blog and my reviews know that I love my BDSM and...

Continue Reading

MyStim Opus E Vaginal Version E-Stim Masturbator Review

A e-stim masturbator that is shockingly good fun Stunt Cock here again for another penis centric review for Joanne. We have both had our eyes on th...

Continue Reading

Ann Summers - Moregasm+ Petite Rampant Rabbit Review

A petite rabbit with the performance of a lion You know it's a good day when a new rampant rabbit vibrator arrives through the postbox from Ann Sum...

Continue Reading

John Thomas® Toys BEASTLI Platinum Silicone Dildo Review

A texture lovers dream come true Well, it isn't often that I get approached by a completely new sex toy manufacturer that are producing the kind of...

Continue Reading

Sinnovator Typhon Silicone Dragon Fantasy Dildo From Uberkinky

A fantasy dragon dildo with lots of texture and girth It appears that several sex toy companies have concluded that my pussy loves large fantasy si...

Continue Reading

Hankeys Toys XS Dragon Silicone Dildo Review

A texture lovers fantasy dildo wet dream I love Hankey's Toys silicone dildos, they are famous for being incredibly detailed and also larger than l...

Continue Reading

Ann Summers - Moregasm+ Boost Rampant Rabbit Review

A powerful body-safe rabbit vibe from the home of the rampant rabbit Stimulate your pussy and clit with the Moregasm+ Boost Rampant Rabbit from Ann...

Continue Reading

Gvibe Mini Gold 24kt Vibrator Review

The Gmini Gold looks amazing and has the performance to match its looks I am so excited to be revealing this review to the world. You see, I have n...

Continue Reading

Mr Hankeys Toys BFG Xtra-Small Fantasy Silicone Dildo Review

The BFG fantasy silicone dildo from Mr Hankey teases and pleases I love dildos that have lots of textures, and so does sub'r'. We both relish the d...

Continue Reading

Ann Summers Whisper Rabbit Vibrator Review

Another fun rabbit vibe from Ann Summers I am such a lucky reviewer. Ann Summers sent me two of their latest vibrators to review, and this is the s...

Continue Reading

Ann Summers Whisper Bullet Vibrator Review

A delightful little bullet vibe that packs a punch I was delighted when Ann Summers sent me one of their newest vibrators to review before its laun...

Continue Reading

ElectroWhisker Monopole Estim Electrode From E-Stim Systems

Super sexy tingly skin play fun with this fun electrode Now it is no secret that I adore my electrostimulation play. Since being introduced to it f...

Continue Reading

Rhea Silicone Dildo From Ylva And Dite

A dildo with sublime texture and changes in girth that feels amazing Woohoo! I have found another fantastic purveyor of silicone pleasure stick (di...

Continue Reading

So Divine Black Juju Dual Density Silicone Dildo Review

Another fine creation from So Divine I love my So Divine sex toys. So I was delighted when they got in touch with me asking if I would review their...

Continue Reading

Latest Reviews

January 13, 2020

Uberlube Good To Go Travel Sized Silicone Lubricant 15ml Silver Review

in Lube Reviews
Uberlube, lasts for ages and lives up to its name, it is ubertastic While visiting Erofame in Hannover, Germany last year we were lucky enough to be handed some Uberlube to review. We were given some samples along with a Good-To-Go Traveller Kit together with… Read More
January 07, 2020

Dreamlove Ritual Shushu Clitoral Suction Vibrator Review

in Vibrators
This small clitoral suction vibrator packs a punch and looks so cute When I was approached by Dreamlove to review a new clitoral stimulator before it has even been released in the UK, I was thrilled. So, of course, I jumped at the chance. What is it? Well, it… Read More
Jan 06, 2020

Bioskin™ Gcandy Sweet Raspberry Rabbit Vibrator Review

in Vibrators
Another lovely vibe from Gvibe in London I always get super excited when Gvibe tell me… Read More
Jan 02, 2020

Clone-A-Pussy Plus+ Hot Pink Kit Review - Joanne's Sex Machine Reviews

in Male Masturbators
Make a clone of your pussy and let someone enjoy using it I had so much fun cloning my… Read More

Recent Articles

September 06, 2019

The Rise of VR Porn

VR Porn is taking the internet by storm, here's how to get in on the action? Two months ago, VRPorn.com announced that it has officially surpassed 100 million users. That is a lot of kinky people looking for VR Porn. Any website would be more than happy with… Read More
June 05, 2019

This Secret Sex Trick Will Have Your Lover Begging You For More

You dream of a passionate love life, but a busy lifestyle and stress has other plans for you. If your sex life needs a little boost, there’s a secret sex trick that will leave you and your lover panting for more. Get steamy in the bedroom and introduce this… Read More
May 30, 2019

Buying Sex Toys On A Budget

You can enjoy a body safe wank on a budget I don't need to preach to anyone about how… Read More
Mar 24, 2019

Best Male Milking Machines

The best machines for hands free orgasms, or, a posh wank I am often asked which is the… Read More

Latest Blog Posts

January 16, 2020

2020, A New Year A New Plan

in Blog
This year is going to be a hoot I have been doing what I do (generally stuffing things inside myself and then telling the internet how good it felt) for five years now. I have had a blast, and my site has grown and grown continually and bears no resemblance… Read More
January 15, 2020

TOP 50: Best Sex Toy Review Blogs

in Blog
Today, I learned that my blog has made it onto another top list With my disabilities, I have good days, and I have bad days. Today is an excellent day. Not only am I mobile, but I received a delightful e-mail this morning letting me know that my blog made… Read More
Jan 13, 2020

Butt Plugs The Pleasure Of A Full Bum

in Blog
Why are butt plugs so much fun? Love them or hate them butt plugs are a thing, and they… Read More
Dec 23, 2019

Joanne Is Building A Penis Vacuum Enlarger Estim Sounding Electrode

in Blog
Fancy Vacuum Pumping While Sounding Your Penis? I love seeing hard cocks. I also love… Read More
×
0
Shares

Like what you see?

Hit the buttons below to follow me, you won't regret it...

0
Shares