Sex should be pleasurable but can it be even more pleasurable?
As you are reading this I can assume that you want to improve your sex life and why not? Everyone has the ability to add a bit of spice into their love-life. Well these ten tips are for all genders and hopefully they will give you some ideas and if it helps then great. If you have any other suggestions then why not add a comment at the bottom of this article.
So sit back, get comfy and prepare to take all of this on board.
1. Use toys or lubricant to enhance the experience
Never underestimate the power of a good lube. I always use lube when masturbating and it makes things so much more enjoyable. Penis owners can also enjoy a good lube too.
It also has some health benefits as well as it can prevent damage to your delicate mucous membranes.
It does make a difference and it feels so good when you add just a little bit of lube it can change how everything feels. Always go for a good quality water based lube and be careful of ones with harmful additives.
This excellent Big Lube Guide is written by Dangerous Lily and shows you what to avoid.
Bring some sex toys into the bedroom, you don't have to get too kinky. Why not try experimenting with a vibrator or dildo. Lots of couples enjoy bringing sextoys into their sex lives and it's a great way to pleasure each other. Talk through your likes and boundaries so that you both know what each other likes.
Or maybe try using a blindfold for some tie tease fun. Check out my beginners guide to Bondage for some other tips.
2. Take your time and spend more time on foreplay
It isn't a race, taking your time can both help to build up the excitement and also make your orgasms stronger. Foreplay is often undervalued or even skipped but it's a powerful tool that anyone can use.
Take your time to pleasure your partner or even just tease yourself. Caress, kiss and rub your partners erogenous zones to watch their excitement build.
Taking time on foreplay can make your orgasms much more satisfying. Whilst an orgasm isn't the be all and end all getting there can be so much fun.
3. Try new touches and sensations
This one is a must, try masturbating with a glove on or give your partner a massage with oils. Experiment with sensation play, maybe chill a dildo or vibe in the fridge before using it.
Have some fun with each others erogenous zones with an ice cube, you will be surprised how cold things can be so hot.
Try breathing on your partners skin, the back of the neck is a great spot as is the nipples and genitals. Warm breath can feel incredibly sensual and it can ramp up the excitement.
4. You can have amazing sex with yourself
Masturbation isn't dirty or un-natural, it's actually a a lot of fun and everyone does it. Masturbating even has health benefits.
Masturbation is a great opportunity to learn about your body. You can experiment and learn how areas of your body respond to different stimulus.
You can also use masturbation as a way to increase your stamina.
So get polishing the pearl you clitoris owners or doing the five knuckle shuffle for penis owners.
5. Great sex is based on consent
You can't have great sex without consent! It stands to reason as sex without consent is abuse or rape.
Talk with your partner if you want to try something new. Don't be shy about it, you never know they may have been thinking about it too.
Don't overstep your marks, if you agree to try something new then take it slowly and stick to the agreed plan.
6. Live out a fantasy or two
This one can be a lot of fun even if you are on your own. If there's something that you have always fancied trying then go for it. There is nothing stopping you from living out your fantasies and if you involve your partner then you can both enjoy them together.
For couples, why not agree to take it in turns to live out each others fantasies.
This can be a great way to have amazing sex as it's things that you have already fantasised about.
If you've read the books or seen the 50 Shades of Grey films then why not try sometie tease fun and games or light bondage.
7. Avoid distractions
Put your phone on standby. There is nothing worse than a phone ringing as you are grabbing the sheets and about to orgasm. It can be a real mood killer.
Take things a step further try having sex in a new location away from the stresses of everyday life. Book into a hotel room or send the kids to stay with their grandparents to give you some freedom.
8. Try watching some porn together
Now you can get porn on the internet more easily than you can order clothes so why not try watching some together.
Now I am not talking the kinky hardcore stuff (unless you are both into it). Choose something run of the mill the first time that you watch porn together.
Take turns selecting what you watch. This can be very enlightening and you can learn a lot about your partners tastes.
Why not try copying what you see and trying to keep up with the position changes and activities.
9. Talk dirty to each other
Something as simple as being called a "slut" can get me excited. Try talking dirty to each other. It may feel very clumsy the first time you do it but practice makes perfect.
Dirty talk can help to build up the suspense and excitement. Whisper in your partners ear during foreplay what you are going to do to him/her and enjoy the effect.
It is worth discussing words that you or your partner don't like. I hate the word "cunt" for example during normal conversations. But if my partner whispers in my ear something like "I'm going to shove my cock up your cunt" I will quite literally melt.
Words have power and they can be very sexual.
10. Don't be a selfish lover
Great sex when not is a mutual activity unless you are masturbating. Think of your partner and try to give them the most pleasure that you can. It will be reciprocated and you get what you give in the bedroom.
Don't be that person that wants to get him/herself off and once they have cum then that's it. Be a good lover and aim to get your partner off before you do. Better still try to have your orgasms coincide.
There is nothing hotter than a good old mutual orgasm, it bonds you and is amazing.
In summary, these are some tips that you can try to improve your sex life. Take your time and don't just fixate on the orgasm, treat it as just a destination. It's the journey there that is the most fun so enjoy it and try to arrive there with your partner at the same time.