Dildos

I love dildo fun and games and I enjoy reviewing them. I tend to not leave much to the imagination when I write my reviews and I will give you the good points as well as the bad so that you can make an informed decision about future purchases.

The MASTER is a hole stretchers dream of a dildo

Once again, I was delighted when John Thomas Toys got in touch to ask if I would like to review some of their very newest items. I didn't even have to think about it.

As this dildo was new, they had not even placed the pictures on their website before sending them to me. Because of this, I had no idea as to what to expect until a very heavy box arrived.

"You get the slight pop as the whole of the glans slide fully inside you. That is a feeling I always enjoy. As you sink more of the shaft inside, you get to enjoy the slight stretch from the widening shaft."

Joanne

Having already reviewed a selection of dildos and stretchers from John Thomas Toys, I was excited to see what their designers had created now. The names certainly did not give me any ideas.

Knowing only that they were called Master and Essex Geezer, I said yes I would love to review these for you and then I just sat back and waited for them to arrive. This review features the Master dildo.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.0

Essex Geezer, a diamond bloke with a huge cock

I do love reviewing and get very excited when I am asked to review something before it is even advertised on the companies website.

Well, this happened again with the John Thomas Toys Essex Geezer dildo. Even though I knew the name, I had no idea what it would actually look like when I agreed to review it.

"Essex Geezer is a chap that you will want more than a one night stand with. I can understand why Essex girls always seem to have a smile on their faces now."

Joanne

If you check out their website, you will see that it's impossible to guess what a product will look like until you can see it. But one thing I knew for sure was it was going to be larger than life.

I never have long to wait for John Thomas Toys to arrive after they say they are sending me something and I could hardly contain my excitement.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.0

They say that all good things come in threes and that is true of the Tom, Dick & Zoltok dildo

Reviewing can be hard work, but it does have its fun moments. After all, I have to play with the item before I can write an honest review.

When asked if I would like to review the Tom, Dick and Zoltock toy from John Thomas Toys. It was not even live on their website, so I had no idea what it would even look like. After thinking about it for say, um a whole 5 seconds I said yes.

"Once I wiggled it inside, I found that the three separate heads rubbed along my walls beautifully. The sensation caused was terrific, then to add the three different sides was almost like adding fuel to the fire."

Joanne

I didn't have long to wait for the delivery to arrive after being told it had been dispatched. I was so excited when the doorbell rang that I nearly beat the dog to the door lol.

I will admit to being extremely surprised at the size of the box, as it was much larger than the standard ones I have received in the past.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.4

Meet the Dick Head, we all know one, and now you can ride one

I always love it when I hear that I am being sent a new toy to review. So when I was told that I would shortly be receiving a set of John Thomas Toys latest additions I could not wait.

With a name like "Dick Head" I just knew that this was going to be a fun one and I was right.

"If you are lucky enough, (or determined enough) to get past the head, you feel the ridge of the glans, then get to enjoy the ridges and bumps of the pulled back foreskin."

Joanne

This novel toy is a stretcher, designed to help you achieve the goal of taking bigger toys and for a size queen like me, it is perfect.

So, grab some popcorn and let me tell you all about my stretching fun with the Dick Head.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.6

Meet the Barbarian, an extraterrestrial with an appetite

I am delighted to be letting you all know about another new John Thomas Toys Dildo. Both sub'r' and I have taken one for the team as it were to get to know this beast of a dildo.

Now while reviewing this stunning piece of silicone cock, I had a trip into hospital. That meant that sub'r' got first dibs on The Barbarian, and to my surprise, she opted for the large (good girl).

"The first and most amazing features of The Barbarian is its surface textures. They feel sublime when you thrust it in and out. The raised muscles and the snakeskin surface really do work well together creating a myriad of sensations that really get me going."

Joanne

Now the good news (for me) is that I am back on form and that meant I was also able to enjoy, and I really do mean enjoy, this silicone dildo.

So, grab a drink, sit back and get comfortable as I tell you all about The Barbarian from John Thomas Toys.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.6

The Boogeyman is about, lock your doors then spread your legs

I always love receiving something new to review in the post. So it goes without saying I was only too happy when I received some more dildos from John Thomas Toys.

For anyone who doesn't know about John Thomas Toys (where have you been hiding), they produce some fantastic dildos and plugs. The best bit is that they only use body-safe silicone for their toys which is fantastic.

"My favourite feature of this John Thomas Toys Dildo is definitely the veins. There are not lots of smaller ones, but several large pronounced veins that run down and across the shaft. With the medium firmness, these veins are reasonably rigid, with just enough squish to make them comfortable in use. The veins feel incredible against my tight walls."

Joanne

So, after grabbing a big bottle of lube, it was time to evaluate these ones to tell you all about them.

So, turn down the lights, put on some eerie music and let me tell you all about the Boogeyman Dildo.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.4

Prepare to have your holes hunted in the most delightful way

I love it when I get an email from John Thomas Toys asking if they can send me something else. I mean, come on why would I say no.

With their extensive range of body-safe silicone dildos and plugs, I am always breathless with anticipation as I wait to see what awaits my pussy and ass.

"With all these raised areas, the amount of stimulation is fantastic and very well received. Hand play with this dildo has me getting sooo wet, get it on a machine, and I am gushing."

Joanne

This time they sent me The Predator ;-) and I couldn't be more delighted.

I love my sex toys to have lots of texture on them, and The Predator definitely ticks that box, so let me tell you all about it.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.6

Pervy Patrick is a dildo with some character

I was approached by John Thomas Toys to see if I would like to review their Pervy Patrick Dildo. Well, who am I to decline to review a sex toy, especially a silicone dildo with such a fun name?

I have to admit to really enjoying the John Thomas Toys dildos that I have reviewed so far with the help of my lovely submissive.

"One thing that I really like about the Pervy Patrick is the glans and its coronal ridge. The way the foreskin is retracted makes it almost look like a double coronal ridge, and this feels incredible against my g-spot."

Joanne

They are all imaginative designs with some really nice features, and I looked forward to seeing if this one would live up to its predecessors.

So read on to find out what we thought of the Pervy Patrick dildo.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.4

The Sampson is a dildo with a kinky twist

Hi, sub 'r' here again with another review, this time I am reviewing the fantastic Sampson Dildo from John Thomas Toys.

I have been really enjoying reviewing some of the dildos that John Thomas Toys has to offer recently.

"I love how full Sampson makes me feel so full, this is what I enjoy the most about big chunky toys. Sampson makes me feel very stretched open, a feeling that I adore. That stretching feeling really turns me on."

sub 'r'

I was over the moon when Joanne asked me to review the Sampson for you all. I love dildos that have lots of girth and trust me Sampson has lots of that together with some fantastic features too.

This review is going to be of the medium Sampson as this is the size that best suits needs. So here's what I thought of it. I hope you enjoy my review xx.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.4

This stainless steel toy blew me away

Hi, it's sub 'r' here again, and today I am going to be telling all about the fun wand from Njoy.

This is my first review of an Njoy product, and the Fun Wand has made me fall in love with the brand.

"Let's just say it was a good job I put a towel under myself as I'm a squirter at the best of times, but with the Fun Wand, I was ten times as bad lol."

Joanne

I was over the moon when Joanne asked me to review the Fun Wand for you.

So here is what I thought about it, I hope you enjoy.

Additional Info

  • Overall Rating 9.4

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