John Thomas Toys Tom Dick And Zoltok Silicone Dildo

They say that all good things come in threes and that is true of the Tom, Dick & Zoltok dildo

Reviewing can be hard work, but it does have its fun moments. After all, I have to play with the item before I can write an honest review.

When asked if I would like to review the Tom, Dick and Zoltock toy from John Thomas Toys. It was not even live on their website, so I had no idea what it would even look like. After thinking about it for say, um a whole 5 seconds I said yes.

"Once I wiggled it inside, I found that the three separate heads rubbed along my walls beautifully. The sensation caused was terrific, then to add the three different sides was almost like adding fuel to the fire."

Joanne

I didn't have long to wait for the delivery to arrive after being told it had been dispatched. I was so excited when the doorbell rang that I nearly beat the dog to the door lol.

I will admit to being extremely surprised at the size of the box, as it was much larger than the standard ones I have received in the past.

Slip into something very comfortable this Christmas

I am delighted to be able to bring you a Christmas competition with a difference. While not being seasonally or even politically correct, I do have something for penis owners out there that will put a massive smile on their faces.

Forget stuffing the Turkey, I have something much more fun to "stuff".

Get yourself off in style with this amazing masturbator called THE BOOTY CALL from the fantastic John Thomas Toys.

Meet the Dick Head, we all know one, and now you can ride one

I always love it when I hear that I am being sent a new toy to review. So when I was told that I would shortly be receiving a set of John Thomas Toys latest additions I could not wait.

With a name like "Dick Head" I just knew that this was going to be a fun one and I was right.

"If you are lucky enough, (or determined enough) to get past the head, you feel the ridge of the glans, then get to enjoy the ridges and bumps of the pulled back foreskin."

Joanne

This novel toy is a stretcher, designed to help you achieve the goal of taking bigger toys and for a size queen like me, it is perfect.

So, grab some popcorn and let me tell you all about my stretching fun with the Dick Head.

I go through a lot of lube and so it was nice to try something new

When we received the Barbarian dildos from John Thomas Toys to review they included a bottle of J-Jelly lube as a gift.

It was a really lovely thought, and I was over the moon as I have heard so much about J-Lube, a lube in powder form that you mix up as required.

"I can attest to it being extremely effective for both vaginal and also anal play too. Vaginal fisting with it felt amazing, and the consistency really works well on a gloved hand."

Joanne

J-Jelly is the lazy version of this lube, and by that I mean it comes ready mixed as a thick gel.

So rather than just use and enjoy it, I thought it would be better to do a full review of this lube as it is new to me and I presume new to most people too. So let me tell you all about this water-based lube.

Meet the Barbarian, an extraterrestrial with an appetite

I am delighted to be letting you all know about another new John Thomas Toys Dildo. Both sub'r' and I have taken one for the team as it were to get to know this beast of a dildo.

Now while reviewing this stunning piece of silicone cock, I had a trip into hospital. That meant that sub'r' got first dibs on The Barbarian, and to my surprise, she opted for the large (good girl).

"The first and most amazing features of The Barbarian is its surface textures. They feel sublime when you thrust it in and out. The raised muscles and the snakeskin surface really do work well together creating a myriad of sensations that really get me going."

Joanne

Now the good news (for me) is that I am back on form and that meant I was also able to enjoy, and I really do mean enjoy, this silicone dildo.

So, grab a drink, sit back and get comfortable as I tell you all about The Barbarian from John Thomas Toys.

Prepare to have your holes hunted in the most delightful way

I love it when I get an email from John Thomas Toys asking if they can send me something else. I mean, come on why would I say no.

With their extensive range of body-safe silicone dildos and plugs, I am always breathless with anticipation as I wait to see what awaits my pussy and ass.

"With all these raised areas, the amount of stimulation is fantastic and very well received. Hand play with this dildo has me getting sooo wet, get it on a machine, and I am gushing."

Joanne

This time they sent me The Predator ;-) and I couldn't be more delighted.

I love my sex toys to have lots of texture on them, and The Predator definitely ticks that box, so let me tell you all about it.

The Boogeyman is about, lock your doors then spread your legs

I always love receiving something new to review in the post. So it goes without saying I was only too happy when I received some more dildos from John Thomas Toys.

For anyone who doesn't know about John Thomas Toys (where have you been hiding), they produce some fantastic dildos and plugs. The best bit is that they only use body-safe silicone for their toys which is fantastic.

"My favourite feature of this John Thomas Toys Dildo is definitely the veins. There are not lots of smaller ones, but several large pronounced veins that run down and across the shaft. With the medium firmness, these veins are reasonably rigid, with just enough squish to make them comfortable in use. The veins feel incredible against my tight walls."

Joanne

So, after grabbing a big bottle of lube, it was time to evaluate these ones to tell you all about them.

So, turn down the lights, put on some eerie music and let me tell you all about the Boogeyman Dildo.

Pervy Patrick is a dildo with some character

I was approached by John Thomas Toys to see if I would like to review their Pervy Patrick Dildo. Well, who am I to decline to review a sex toy, especially a silicone dildo with such a fun name?

I have to admit to really enjoying the John Thomas Toys dildos that I have reviewed so far with the help of my lovely submissive.

"One thing that I really like about the Pervy Patrick is the glans and its coronal ridge. The way the foreskin is retracted makes it almost look like a double coronal ridge, and this feels incredible against my g-spot."

Joanne

They are all imaginative designs with some really nice features, and I looked forward to seeing if this one would live up to its predecessors.

So read on to find out what we thought of the Pervy Patrick dildo.

The Sampson is a dildo with a kinky twist

Hi, sub 'r' here again with another review, this time I am reviewing the fantastic Sampson Dildo from John Thomas Toys.

I have been really enjoying reviewing some of the dildos that John Thomas Toys has to offer recently.

"I love how full Sampson makes me feel so full, this is what I enjoy the most about big chunky toys. Sampson makes me feel very stretched open, a feeling that I adore. That stretching feeling really turns me on."

sub 'r'

I was over the moon when Joanne asked me to review the Sampson for you all. I love dildos that have lots of girth and trust me Sampson has lots of that together with some fantastic features too.

This review is going to be of the medium Sampson as this is the size that best suits needs. So here's what I thought of it. I hope you enjoy my review xx.

The OGLIN is a dildo with lots of lovely textures

I am such a lucky reviewer, John Thomas Toys asked if I would be interested in reviewing some of their newest dildos. Of course, I jumped at the chance to experience some more of their incredible designs.

Even better than trying just one new dildo, John Thomas Toys sent me three designs to review. Yes, you read that right, three designs and all four sizes of each.

"The thinner tip makes taking the head easy, and the glans stand out enough to make it almost pop as it fully enters you. Then you feel the first ridge, each one on the firm blend (which is the blend I was sent if you are wondering), are slightly squishy. This means they are soft enough to enter smoothly but firm enough to feel great once they are inside you."

Joanne

Needless to say, the box when it arrived was huge, and it weighed a tonne. It was time to get the sack trolley to work to get these fantastic dildos to my office for photos. I then choose which ones I am going to take home to play with before doing the video review. Of course, it was only fair that sub'r' got her pick too.

Having just reviewed Spock's Cock, and the Parasite, it was on to the final in this batch of interestingly named fantasy dildos, the OGLIN. So let me tell you all about this silicone masterpiece.

The PARASITE dildo is enough to give you the 'Shivers'

I'm such a lucky reviewer, John Thomas Toys asked if I would be interested in reviewing some of their newest dildos. Of course, I jumped at the chance to experience some more of their incredible designs.

Even better than trying just one new dildo, John Thomas Toys sent me three designs to review. Yes, you read that right, three designs and all four sizes of each.

"I found this would hit my g-spot just right. I did not feel challenged by the head of the dildo, but I did still have that lovely feeling of being full. I could feel every bump, ripple and vein when I was fucking myself with this dildo."

Joanne

Needless to say, the box when it arrived was huge, and it weighed a tonne.

Having just reviewed Spock's Cock, it was on to the interestingly named fantasy dildo, the PARASITE. So let me tell you all about this silicone masterpiece.

Forget Live Long & Prosper, Live Fast & Kinky

I was delighted when John Thomas Toys asked me if I would be interested in reviewing a few more of their silicone dildos. Of course, I was not going to say no.

They not only sent me all four of the Spock's Cock dildo design and that is what I am reviewing here today, but they sent me the Oglin and the Parasite too. Lucky me - Woohoo!

"But it isn't just me who has been enjoying Spock's Cock, the lovely sub'r' has been enjoying the small and medium. Let's just say using them on a fucking machine in her shaven pussy looks and sounded amazing. The sight of her cumming hard while being ploughed by Spock's Cock was incredibly exciting."

Joanne

Check out their site as they have a new range of silicone male masturbators too that look fantastic.

So, let me get on with the review and tell you all about Spock's Cock.

Take your fingering fun to the next level

While in lockdown, the days can be very long and very dull. With lots of worrying thoughts, I needed something to take my mind of the current problems beyond my front door.

My prayers were answered when another package arrived from John Thomas Toys. I immediately knew who it was from for two reasons, firstly its size and secondly its considerable weight.

"I love the feeling of the fingers sliding inside, the fingers are flexible and so with some added pressure, in the right place, you can bend them to hit your g-spot. It also allows for your partner to finger or fuck one hole while this dildo fucks the other."

Joanne

I could hardly contain my excitement when I opened the box to find four more silicone dildos to try out and review.

I was delighted to have something to occupy my mind, hands and of course, other parts of my anatomy. So read on to find out what I thought of the John Thomas Toys The Extremity Silicone Dildo.

The Don, a name with Mafia connotations brings a whole new meaning to "kissing his ring"

I get so excited when John Thomas Toys let me know that another new box is on the way to me.

The dildos and plugs that I have reviewed for them so far are all fantastic, I know that I won't be disappointed with anything they send this way to review.

"I really enjoy the way the girth fills out, and the whole feel of the veins and ridge on the shaft create fantastic stimulation together with the drag of the silicone blend."

Joanne

This time was certainly no different, another hefty box meant another four new dildos to review.

I was thrilled when I opened the box to find all four of The Don dildos nestled inside. So after enjoying myself with The Don and in particular making sub'r' enjoy one on the end of a fucking machine, it's time to write up our thoughts.

The Alien Hooligan Dildo gives me thoughts of the dancing elephants from Fantasia

Once again, I was delighted when a package arrived from John Thomas Toys, creators of some stunning silicone dicks and plugs.

Excited as I was, I wasn't prepared for just how amazing the contents of the box looked once I had ripped it open.

"The Alien Hooligan comes into its own on a fucking machine or secured firmly with the included vac-u-lock suction cup adaptor. On a fucking machine, you can just lay back and focus on the sensations that the veins and that head generate."

Joanne

Inside I found four Alien Hooligan Dildos in stunning baby blue coloured silicone complete with their storage bags and a suction cup vac-u-lock adaptor.

After spending lots of 'intimate time' with the Alien Hooligan range of dildos along with my delightful submissive, the lovely sub'r', we are ready to give our opinion of this out of this world dildo from John Thomas Toys. So, read on to find out more about this lovely creation.

A novel design that is good for any orifice, front or rear

The arrival of a new sex toy to review always fills me with excitement but it isn't often that I am also filled with a sense of nervous anticipation as well. But that was the case when these big boys arrived from John Thomas Toys.

It isn't often that I get sent anal play toys, of shall we say, this magnitude. My comfort zone is a medium butt plug. Luckily though I'm fortunate to have a very anally talented female submissive, the lovely sub'r' so you can guess who took on the job of trying these behemoths out.

"I used the small one on the lovely sub'r' first vaginally and then in her ass. The sight of it disappearing into her was mesmerising. The sounds coming out of her when we used a fucking machine on her ass were almost animal."

Joanne

So with a nervous look in her eye, she agreed to take one for the team, which is an excellent job as I would have been stuck with having to squeeze them into my own butt.

I decided to tackle some of the bigger ones vaginally while sub'r' got to test out the anal pleasure these can bring. So let me tell you all about the Anal Probe Dildos in all their eye-wateringly immense glory.

Don't be bullied by this lovely silicone didlo, put it in its place ;-)

You can imagine my excitement when yet another delivery arrived from John Thomas Toys. I was sent another lovely set of lovely silicone dicks for me to use and abuse, all in the name of reviewing science, of course.

This is the third dildo design that I have reviewed for John Thomas Toys, and it's another cracker, or should that be crack stuffer? There are links at the bottom of this review to the others.

"The shaft carries some beautiful vein details that provide extra stimulation as you thrust. The base of the dildo features a vac-u-lock hole for the included suction cup adaptor. You can, of course, opt to fit this dildo to a fucking machine or strap-on harness for lots of kinky fun."

Joanne

My first impressions of the new Billy Bunter dildo were excellent. I could hardly contain my excitement, and it wasn't long before I was enjoying them.

So please sit back, grab some popcorn and let me tell you all about the Billy Bunter body-safe silicone dildo range.

A silicone dildo that will light up your masturbation sessions

Having recently really enjoyed reviewing the fantastic BEASTLI silicone dildo from John Thomas Toys, I jumped at the chance to review another.

When they got in touch saying they had an unusual dildo that I might enjoy, I have to admit being immediately curious and hooked. I hastily agreed, and they sent me the entire range of four Cleopatra's Candles.

"It's sort of like a Rubik's Cube for your pussy to try to solve. Wiggling back and forth getting the angle just right so it pops into you is a lot of fun, and it takes your breath away when it suddenly slides in."

Joanne

Yes, you read that right 'candles'. This is a dildo designed to look just like a candle, complete with wax running down the sides to give it some nice textures.

I could hardly contain my excitement when the doorbell rang with this latest batch of dildos from John Thomas Toys, so let me tell you all about them.

A texture lovers dream come true

Well, it isn't often that I get approached by a completely new sex toy manufacturer that are producing the kind of dildos that I love right here in the UK.

To say I was delighted when John Thomas Toys got in touch would be an understatement. They wanted me to review one of their newest creations, the Beastli Platinum Silicone Dildo.

"Both sub'r' and I have had a lot of fun getting to know the Beastli dildos with her enjoying the small and as I like a challenge I have been using the medium and the large (that was a squeeze I can tell you)."

Joanne

I obviously jumped at the chance to get my hands (and other parts of my anatomy) on these fantastic looking silicone fantasy dildos packed with really pronounced textures.

Looking like a cross between a Size Queen and a Texture Queens wettest dream, I could hardly contain my excitement as I waited for them to arrive.