Joanne's Sex Machine and Sex Toy Reviews

Welcome to my siteWelcome to my site, I hope that you enjoy my reviews and articles. I have a fascination with sex toys and in particular sex and fucking machines, e-stim and BDSM.

I have a lot of fun doing what I do and I hope it shows in my reviews and articles.

I love hearing from my readers so please don't be shy, post a comment or get in touch.

Joanne xxx


Joanne Summers

Joanne Summers

I am an award winning reviewer and married mother of two who loves getting off with all manner of Sex Toys. I really have a soft spot for Fucking Machines and Sex Machines though (I bet you can guess where that soft spot is). I'm also rather fond of E-Stim or Electrosex as well as kinky BDSM play. I love reviewing all manner of sex toys, adult related products and lubes so join me on my quest for ever kinkier orgasms.

The Probe And Probe Beast Fucking Machines From Orgasm Alley

It's nice to see these fucking machines in the UK with sexmachines.co.uk

It isn't very often that I get asked to review two (yes you read that right) fucking machines at the same time. So you can imagine my excitement when Dave from Sexmachines.co.uk asked me to give him my opinion of the Probe and Probe Beast from Orgasm Alley in the USA.

These are two machines that I have often lusted over and have heard a lot about, and so it was fantastic to be given the opportunity to be able to get my hands on them.

"The Probe Beast has a fantastic motor that I couldn't stall no matter how hard I tried. This is the perfect machine for hard anal fucking although you may have to lock the legs down to something as Newton's third law states that thusting a massive dildo into a tight hole can make a fucking machine walk."

Joanne

As always I didn't have to wait long for the courier to arrive with the two machines from sexmachines.co.uk as their service is exceptionally quick.

I could hardly contain my excitements when I started to unbox them, so read on to find out how these two machines compare against each other and my other machines as well.

Yubo F1 Fucking Machine From Sexmachines.co.uk

Another fun fucking machine from the sexmachines.co.uk range

I do have the best job in the world I think, especially when Dave from sexmachines.co.uk gets in touch with me asking if I would be interested in reviewing another fucking machine for them.

This time they want me to review the Yubo F1. I had seen some of the other Yubo machines on their site, and they seem ideal for anyone new to fucking machines due to their simplicity.

"Fucking machines never tire, they never complain, and you can trust them not to wipe their cock on your pillow after fucking you (don't ask LOL)."

Joanne

Of course, I agreed to review it for them as you know how much I enjoy my sex machine action. Fucking Machines are just so versatile, and it's always nice to try something new.

I went into this review with no expectations and having reviewed a lot of sex machines I looked forward to seeing how this one would compare with what I have reviewed in the past. So read on to find out where the Yubo F1 starts on my fucking machine starting grid.

HurtMe: Cat-o'-Nine-Tails Ariadne From Meo.de

This is a serious bit of kit that delivers serious results

Now I love my impact play, but the thought of being on the receiving end of a cat o' nine tails terrified me. The legendary punishment implement used throughout history for its extreme and cruel efficiency.

When I was asked by Meo if I would review one for them I must admit to a little trepidation but, you know me, the thought of an excuse to get my backside out for some corporal punishment was too good to miss so, of course, I said yes.

"I just bit my lip and waited for his order. He told me to stand and go into the dining room where he forced me to bend over the dining room table exposing my buttocks."

Joanne

So for anyone unaware of the history of the Cat o' nine tails, it is an implement synonymous with punishment in the Royal Navy and other institutions. People often didn't survive its use, but I had high hopes of doing so.

The Cat was going to be something special, and I couldn't wait to get started with it.

Erofame 2018 - Day 2 More Jam Than Robinsons Jam Factory

Day 2 at Erofame

Stunt CockStunt cock here again with another Erofame update after day 2 of the trade show. What a day we have had, it has been a roller coaster of a ride, and we are both sat here with throbbing feet but huge grins on our faces. So without further ado let me tell you about day 2.

We started early with another healthy breakfast (for sub'r' that is, I opted for the heart clogger special again). After breakfast, we went back to our room so that sub'r' could change as today she would be in uniform. A PVC maids outfit from Latex, Leather and Lace, a set of cuffs, a collar and leash. Today, sub'r' would enjoy the confidence of being who she is, a confident submissive.

Rather than catch the Erofame bus, this time we opted to take the car and use the onsite parking (10 euro). We did this as we left before the busses yesterday and that cost us 20 euro in a Taxi to get back to the hotel (rip off), so we saved 10 euro today.

Erofame 2018 - Day 1 And We Need A Wheel Barrow

Our first visit to Erofame

Stunt CockStunt Cock here again, after a good nights sleep (slept like a log, after all, that driving yesterday) it was time to sample a good hearty breakfast before getting on the happy bus to Erofame. But first we had to get out things ready for the day.

After packing my day bag with notes, business cards and some drinks we headed down for breakfast.

Our breakfast was pretty amazing, and I have to post a pic of it. Naturally, I opted for the heart clogger special but sub'r' chose the more sensible options of fresh fruit and healthy stuff. I loved the fresh orange juice, and the Cappuccino was to die for.

Erofame 2018 - The Journey To Europe's Largest Sex Toy Trade Show

Our first visit to Erofame

Stunt CockStunt Cock, here again. For anyone not aware, Erofame is Europes largest adult industry trade show, and this year we planned to visit it to show our faces and also to plug our blog and reviews shamelessly - well why wouldn't you if you could?

The timing though presented some problems for us as Joanne has a consultants visit planned for the middle of the Erofame week so she couldn't come along. However, she decided that I, her Stunt Cock and the lovely sub'r' should continue with the visit to represent her and the blog.

So, after weeks of planning and having saved and saved for ages we had all of the pieces of what has turned out to be quite a significant endeavour in place, and as the days drew closer, we all got more and more excited.

So Divine Get Lucky USB Rechargeable Vibrator

A handy USB rechargeable vibrator with a twist

I have enjoyed all of the sex toys that I have reviewed for So Divine in the past, and so I was delighted when they got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing their new USB rechargeable vibrator - The Get Lucky Vibe.

With a trip to Germany just around the corner, I jumped at the chance as I decided I would review it here and then let sub'r' take it on her trip to Germany as, to be honest, it is the perfect travelling companion.

"The small nodules on the tip of the vibrator feel incredible when I slowly rub them over the top of my clitoris."

Joanne

So I waited for its arrival with high hopes... It follows a long line of very enjoyable vibes that have given me some fantastic orgasms to live up to. Would it continue to build on its predecessor's performance or would it be a letdown? No pressure at all.

My first impressions were - "this is different". Read on to find out my final thoughts on it.

Guest Post - A Babygirl’s Thoughts About Rough Sex : Miss Doll

Guest Post

I am delighted to be able to introduce the amazing Miss Doll from hmissdollreviews.wixsite.com/sextoyreviews.

Miss DollMiss Doll
Adult copywriter, sex toy tester and sex positive blogger. After my classical studies, I decided to use my writing skills to help women smash the taboos that prevent them to live their sex lives to the fullest, and to make better, more informed choices about their sexuality and the pleasure products they choose to use. Follow my adventures at:

Check out my site missdollreviews.wixsite.com/sextoyreviews for my other work. You can also follow my twitter account - missdollreviews

E-Stim Connect From E-Stim Systems

Effortless remote e-stim sessions are now a thing

Anyone who reads my blogs posts and reviews will be well aware that I love e-stim fun, and so does my Stunt Cock and the lovely sub'r'. All three of us partake in the ever so enjoyable practice of electrostimulation.

It can be an incredible way to stimulate yourself or a partner and leads to many amazing hands-free orgasms for us.

Yes, electricity can be enjoyed in more ways than you probably thought possible. While it is fun to stim someone in person, often there comes a time when you are alone, or your partner is away from home, and you need your electron fix.

In the past, if you had a 2B, you could use the Commander software to connect remotely but to be honest while it was a lot of fun it could be a lot of faff to set up and use.

E-Stim Systems have been developing another way to use the 2B for remote stimulation, and they released it at #Erofame2018 to much praise and interest. So what is it and how easy is it to use? Read on to find out.

Bondara 14 Inch Lair Leather Sword Slapper Paddle

This delightful sword paddle had me in a very playful mood

As you can imagine I was delighted when Bondara got in touch with me again, this time asking if I would be interested in reviewing a leather paddle for them.

Well, the thought of a new impact toy and a leather one at that had me squirming in my seat and so I, of course, agreed to review one for them.

"When swung, it requires minimal effort to make a loud slapping noise as it strikes home and it leaves good blade shaped marks on the skin when it is withdrawn."

Joanne

They sent me this Lair Leather Sword Slapper Paddle for free in exchange for a fair and honest review, and I couldn't wait to put it to the test.

Now the Master of all things swingy and ouchy is my Stunt Cock, he can swing a paddle or flogger like no-one else, and so he was roped in again to use this paddle on sub'r' and myself so that we could both give our thoughts on it. So read on to find out what we thought of it.

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