The MASTER is a hole stretchers dream of a dildo

Once again, I was delighted when John Thomas Toys got in touch to ask if I would like to review some of their very newest items. I didn't even have to think about it.

As this dildo was new, they had not even placed the pictures on their website before sending them to me. Because of this, I had no idea as to what to expect until a very heavy box arrived.

"You get the slight pop as the whole of the glans slide fully inside you. That is a feeling I always enjoy. As you sink more of the shaft inside, you get to enjoy the slight stretch from the widening shaft."

Joanne

Having already reviewed a selection of dildos and stretchers from John Thomas Toys, I was excited to see what their designers had created now. The names certainly did not give me any ideas.

Knowing only that they were called Master and Essex Geezer, I said yes I would love to review these for you and then I just sat back and waited for them to arrive. This review features the Master dildo.

This is your chance to own a fucking machine for your own hardcore pleasure

I can't believe how happy I am to be able to host this fantastic competition for the lovely people over at sexmachines.co.uk

They are the biggest supplier of all things sex and fucking machines in Europe and I have been on the receiving end of lots of their machines in the past, and they are brilliant.

This competition is going to make somebody a very happy bunny. Not only are they offering up a Willy Wanka Fucking Machine, yes you read that right a bonafide, bang your doors in fucking machine, (check out my review of the Willy Wanka here), they are also offering up a Hung Systems Easy Squat too. Two fantastic prizes, up for grabs so get your entries in.

That amounts to over £500 of prizes for one lucky person. Both of these fantastic prizes accept vac-u-lock compatible dildos and with literally hundreds of different ones available.

Essex Geezer, a diamond bloke with a huge cock

I do love reviewing and get very excited when I am asked to review something before it is even advertised on the companies website.

Well, this happened again with the John Thomas Toys Essex Geezer dildo. Even though I knew the name, I had no idea what it would actually look like when I agreed to review it.

"Essex Geezer is a chap that you will want more than a one night stand with. I can understand why Essex girls always seem to have a smile on their faces now."

Joanne

If you check out their website, you will see that it's impossible to guess what a product will look like until you can see it. But one thing I knew for sure was it was going to be larger than life.

I never have long to wait for John Thomas Toys to arrive after they say they are sending me something and I could hardly contain my excitement.

It looks like I may be on the move again

For those who have been following me for a while, you will know that I moved my operation (that sounds grand) into a rented office space last year. This was due to having space issues working from home.

I then moved into a bigger office as my empire grew too large for the old one. Three 3D printers in a small office will do that.

This year sees me yearning to expand again, this time into a workshop type of environment to work with my 3D printers in a better environment. I also want to build a laser engraver (yes I am a sucker for punishment) for some future projects I have in mind.

They say that all good things come in threes and that is true of the Tom, Dick & Zoltok dildo

Reviewing can be hard work, but it does have its fun moments. After all, I have to play with the item before I can write an honest review.

When asked if I would like to review the Tom, Dick and Zoltock toy from John Thomas Toys. It was not even live on their website, so I had no idea what it would even look like. After thinking about it for say, um a whole 5 seconds I said yes.

"Once I wiggled it inside, I found that the three separate heads rubbed along my walls beautifully. The sensation caused was terrific, then to add the three different sides was almost like adding fuel to the fire."

Joanne

I didn't have long to wait for the delivery to arrive after being told it had been dispatched. I was so excited when the doorbell rang that I nearly beat the dog to the door lol.

I will admit to being extremely surprised at the size of the box, as it was much larger than the standard ones I have received in the past.

Slip into something very comfortable this Christmas

I am delighted to be able to bring you a Christmas competition with a difference. While not being seasonally or even politically correct, I do have something for penis owners out there that will put a massive smile on their faces.

Forget stuffing the Turkey, I have something much more fun to "stuff".

Get yourself off in style with this amazing masturbator called THE BOOTY CALL from the fantastic John Thomas Toys.

Getting busy with it....

Well, it seems like I just keep getting busier and busier. This week saw me breaking through the magic 100,000 page views a month metric, and that has really cheered me up.

I have been laid up with pneumonia for over a week now feeling rather sorry for myself, I think I am on the way back to health again now, but it has left me so run down.

So as you can imagine I was delighted when I checked out some statistics about my site and realised that finally, after five and a half years I have hit 100k page views. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with my rambling posts for all this time.

So how does the ABox Mk2 stack up against the 2B for audio play?

I really enjoyed reviewing the ABox Mk2 for E-Stim Systems. It is a totally redesigned upgrade of their original Audio Stim box the ABox which came to the marketplace in 2006.

It is great to see that E-Stim Systems are continually improving their range of control boxes. Here is a link to my review of the ABox Mk2.

The ABox Mk2 is a single channel control box with two modes of operation, and these are line in and its internal microphone.

Almost immediately after publishing my review of the ABox Mk2, I started to receive messages and enquiries about how it compares to the E-Stim Systems 2B.

So that brings me to this article. I have spent the day playing with both boxes side by side, comparing both, it was tough to compare them.

Taking your fucking machine play to the next level using your phone

Last month Hismith got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing their new fucking machine controller for them.

I didn't have to think long before replying - "Yes, please". I mean think about it, a controller with remote functionality, Bluetooth and an app to enable control over the internet. It sounded perfect.

"I loved exploring the fucking routines that others had created, and some of them are one hell of a good ride. I also enjoyed creating my own to edge sub'r' and keep her begging to be allowed to cum hard."

Joanne

So I got my Hismith Premium Fucking Machine ready and waited for the new control box to arrive. I didn't have to wait long. Amazon fulfilled the order, and I was soon in possession of a brown Amazon package. I have spent the last couple of weeks thoroughly enjoying getting to know the new control box (any excuse for a good machine rodgering).

Generally, I dislike app-controlled sex toys, often finding them a little finicky or gimmicky but read on to find out what I thought of this controller.

Meet the Dick Head, we all know one, and now you can ride one

I always love it when I hear that I am being sent a new toy to review. So when I was told that I would shortly be receiving a set of John Thomas Toys latest additions I could not wait.

With a name like "Dick Head" I just knew that this was going to be a fun one and I was right.

"If you are lucky enough, (or determined enough) to get past the head, you feel the ridge of the glans, then get to enjoy the ridges and bumps of the pulled back foreskin."

Joanne

This novel toy is a stretcher, designed to help you achieve the goal of taking bigger toys and for a size queen like me, it is perfect.

So, grab some popcorn and let me tell you all about my stretching fun with the Dick Head.

An audio based e-stim control box that works really well

Now, this is a review that I have been so excited to write. I consider myself incredibly lucky that E-Stim Systems sent me one of these control boxes almost a month before its release.

For scientific reasons, of course, they wanted me to give them my opinion of their newest creation.

"Imagine how combining impact play with things like floggers, crops and paddles with electroplay. The noises of impacts are immediately translated into e-stim sensations delivered to where you have attached the electrodes. Double the fun and double the pleasure (or pain, depending on how you like to play)."

Joanne

Now the original A Box is the only one of their control boxes that I haven't reviewed yet (naughty Joanne, note to self, I must do better). I guess I have missed the boat on that one as this is the new, improved version. Built from the ground up to be a worthy successor to its older brother.

So grab a drink and let me tell you all about the newest control box from E-Stim Systems, the ABox MK2.

Taking the humble blowjob to a shockingly good new level of fun

So picture the scene, I have my Stunt Cock tied up, his cock has several of my e-stim electrodes strapped in place. I am teasing him with the controls on my 2B, and he tenses up saying "OMG it feels like someone is sucking on the end of my cock".

That got me thinking while working towards his happy sticky ending. Whilst that must have felt good (and I could tell it did due to his reactions), how good would a real blowjob feel when coupled with some e-stim play?

Would it be the best of both worlds or end up with me with a pair of zapped lips and a limp tongue Jar Jar Binks style?

Meet the Barbarian, an extraterrestrial with an appetite

I am delighted to be letting you all know about another new John Thomas Toys Dildo. Both sub'r' and I have taken one for the team as it were to get to know this beast of a dildo.

Now while reviewing this stunning piece of silicone cock, I had a trip into hospital. That meant that sub'r' got first dibs on The Barbarian, and to my surprise, she opted for the large (good girl).

"The first and most amazing features of The Barbarian is its surface textures. They feel sublime when you thrust it in and out. The raised muscles and the snakeskin surface really do work well together creating a myriad of sensations that really get me going."

Joanne

Now the good news (for me) is that I am back on form and that meant I was also able to enjoy, and I really do mean enjoy, this silicone dildo.

So, grab a drink, sit back and get comfortable as I tell you all about The Barbarian from John Thomas Toys.

Rachel got a nice surprise after moving abroad - Part 2

After spending a week having erotic dreams of my first experience, I decided that I needed more. I had kept the phone numbers of the two studs that I had played with and decided to give them both a call.

I was very nervous about meeting them again. So I suggested we meet for drinks and a chat, after all, I did not want to either lead them on or put myself in a difficult situation.

We agreed to meet in a local hotel bar, that evening. Now, of course, the next challenge was what to wear. Going through the small selection of clothes I had brought with me, I selected my favourite black lace bra and g string set. I paired it with a gorgeous red silk dress; it was skin tight and was short enough to just about cover my butt cheeks. Then came the black lace top stockings and red heels. I wanted to impress and turn heads, and I think that this will do the trick.

Even though I had dressed to impress, I was still very nervous and ended up at the bar 20 minutes early. I did gain some confidence when I saw how many pairs of eyes followed me across the room, and the barman was waiting for my order as soon as I reached him. I was sat at the bar, enjoying my drink for just a few minutes before I saw the two men I was meeting enter the bar. I watched them look around the room for me, then their eyes lit up, and a very enticing smile graced both their faces.

As they approached, I decided that I was going to enjoy my evening, and gave them both a sultry kiss, while running my hands down their back to grip their bottoms. Clasping both their hands, I proceeded to lead them to an empty booth in the corner.

We are reviewing two new sex toys for So Divine

While Stunt Cock and sub'r' were at the office messing around as they usually are (in all honesty they were installing a new webcam for me) they received a delivery from So Divine.

They let me know and suggested making a quick unboxing video to test the new camera out. I thought that was a great idea and so I told them to go for it.

It's update time on my overly ambitious 3D printer enclosure

Well, I thought it was high time to give an update on my 3D printer enclosure at my office. Having just spent a week in hospital (long story) I am well behind where I would like to be in the build, but basically, it is all operational.

If you missed the first post in this series you can read it here - 3D Printer Enclosure.

I am waiting on the doors coming from a supplier that is cutting them to size for me (I pray that I measured them correctly).

I have magnetic reed switched to use on the doors so that if you open the main enclosure doors (either side), it will switch the LED lighting on to 100% white light so I can see what I am doing. Closing the doors resets the lights back to what they were doing before the door was opened.

Lighting

The LED lighting is fitted, with a 72 RGB LED strip in the top shelf area and also one in the main enclosure, and they look incredible when the printer enclosure is powered up.

I can select different lighting colours or have it slowly cycling through the entire colour spectrum. It even has some cool modes called breath and heartbeat. I will post a video of those when the doors arrive.

I go through a lot of lube and so it was nice to try something new

When we received the Barbarian dildos from John Thomas Toys to review they included a bottle of J-Jelly lube as a gift.

It was a really lovely thought, and I was over the moon as I have heard so much about J-Lube, a lube in powder form that you mix up as required.

"I can attest to it being extremely effective for both vaginal and also anal play too. Vaginal fisting with it felt amazing, and the consistency really works well on a gloved hand."

Joanne

J-Jelly is the lazy version of this lube, and by that I mean it comes ready mixed as a thick gel.

So rather than just use and enjoy it, I thought it would be better to do a full review of this lube as it is new to me and I presume new to most people too. So let me tell you all about this water-based lube.

The Boogeyman is about, lock your doors then spread your legs

I always love receiving something new to review in the post. So it goes without saying I was only too happy when I received some more dildos from John Thomas Toys.

For anyone who doesn't know about John Thomas Toys (where have you been hiding), they produce some fantastic dildos and plugs. The best bit is that they only use body-safe silicone for their toys which is fantastic.

"My favourite feature of this John Thomas Toys Dildo is definitely the veins. There are not lots of smaller ones, but several large pronounced veins that run down and across the shaft. With the medium firmness, these veins are reasonably rigid, with just enough squish to make them comfortable in use. The veins feel incredible against my tight walls."

Joanne

So, after grabbing a big bottle of lube, it was time to evaluate these ones to tell you all about them.

So, turn down the lights, put on some eerie music and let me tell you all about the Boogeyman Dildo.

Hell yes it is, and in this article I'll tell you why

Recently, as a result of a conversation with a Dutch Fetlifer, I started to wonder how many penis owners who stim use additional stimulation during their sessions.

I often incorporate vibrator play in my sessions and naturally assumed that lots of penis owners do too. But having looked around popular places for discussing e-stim like SmartStim and SocialStim, it appears I may be mistaken in that assumption.

That got me thinking as to why that would be?

It also got me curious as to just how good combining e-stim play with vibrations would feel on a hard (or indeed soft) cock.

Prepare to have your holes hunted in the most delightful way

I love it when I get an email from John Thomas Toys asking if they can send me something else. I mean, come on why would I say no.

With their extensive range of body-safe silicone dildos and plugs, I am always breathless with anticipation as I wait to see what awaits my pussy and ass.

"With all these raised areas, the amount of stimulation is fantastic and very well received. Hand play with this dildo has me getting sooo wet, get it on a machine, and I am gushing."

Joanne

This time they sent me The Predator ;-) and I couldn't be more delighted.

I love my sex toys to have lots of texture on them, and The Predator definitely ticks that box, so let me tell you all about it.