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In my years I have tried lots of sexual practices and activities. Some enjoyable and some not so enjoyable. These articles are designed to give everyone the benefit of my wisdom and I hope that you find them both interesting and enjoyable. Leave a comment and I will get back to you on them.

The night I popped my swingers club cherry at The Attic in Derby

It was raining hard, and I was starting to regret my decision to visit a swingers club with my partner. As I walked to the door as my nerves were seriously kicking in. The walk from the sizeable off-street carpark to the clubs doors seemed to take ages, but I was glad I had brought a brolly with me.

This was my first visit to a swingers club, and while I knew what to expect, nerves were taking their toll on my resolve to go through with it. When we arrived at the large purple doors, it was a choice of brave the rain again or go inside. I bit the bullet and stepped inside.

Opening the door had us entering a sort of airlock with a little window through which we paid our entrance fee before being buzzed in. We had stopped by the Attic club in Derby as it is relatively local to us and I wanted to see what swingers clubs were like on the inside.

Additional Info

  • Brief Synopsis Swingers clubs can be a lot of fun, check out my thoughts of my first trip to one, I visited the Attic Swingers Club in Derby.
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This page is the hub of everything estim related on this site

Three years ago the amazing guys over at E-Stim Systems got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing some of their e-stim equipment. I had to be honest as I had never even heard of estim or electrosex (sheltered upbringing I guess LOL). Anyway, they sent me my first e-stim control box and electrode set the fantastic Series 1, and I was instantly hooked. I had never had a hands free orgasm in my life, and as I enjoy some light BDSM play, it fitted in with that style of fun as well. I cannot recommend that everyone should give it a go, what have you got to lose?

Anyway, this page is the hub of everything e-stim related, and it provides links to the three main areas of my electrosex activities. Reviews, advice articles and DIY self-builds. There are also some handy quick links on the left of this page - the links with the stripey background, you can't miss them >>>

Additional Info

  • Brief Synopsis All of my e-stim resources in one handy spot.
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Getting the most bang for your buck with a Sybian

The Sybian is a legend in its own right, for 30 years it has been providing hard orgasms to women all around the world.

It's without a doubt the most powerful vibrator that I have ever had the privilege of having between my legs but getting the most out of it requires some thought and lots of practice.

It's all too easy just to straddle it and then really ramp up the power too quickly but that will leave you sore and probably a little jaded about its capabilities. Instead, follow these simple steps to ensure that you get the most out of a Sybian.

Additional Info

  • Brief Synopsis Getting the most from your Sybian is easy if you follow some simple advice
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I love nipple play, it is the gender free sex organ made for loving

Well, they're made for loving and nurturing actually. The most amazingly fantastic thing about nipples is that we all have them. They are also definitely under stimulated in lots of us. I am talking directly to you, penis owners.

Yes, penis owners, nipple play is not just for us vaginistas. You can enjoy some tweaking, clamping and sucking play as well. Trust me you may want to take notes, this may come as a shock to you.

I'm going to cover some of the great ways that we can pleasure our twin love buddies. I'm also going to suggest some further reading for anyone looking to give take their play to the next level.

Firstly though let's just talk about what nipples are and what makes them so much fun.

Chocolate boobiesThere are hundreds of nerve endings in a nipple and that makes them very sensitive to sensation play. This makes them hot spots for pleasure in all genders. Research has shown that nipples stimulation can mimic the same responses in the brain caused by direct genital stimulation.

That means they have a hotline to the pleasure centre of your brain. So it's hardly surprising then that so many people get aroused when their nipples are touched. With the right stimulation, you can experience an orgasm through nipple stimulation alone.

This diagram shows the basic biology of the breast and nipple through the medium of chocolate. It is common to all genders.

Here are a few ideas for nipple play together with products that I have reviewed. I will also include some links to relevant products for that style of play.

Finger Play

We can all enjoy some self-stimulation or stimulation by our partners using our hands and fingers. Try gently running a fingertip around your areola, then use your fingernail to see the different sensations.

Try adding some lube or saliva into the equation for some slippery nipple fun. Warm yourself up using your fingers first before even considering any equipment.

The most sensitive parts are first the nipple, followed by the areola and then the breast tissue. Stimulate and rub all three areas.

Squeeze your nipples, twist your nipples. Basically, give them a good going over. Some people enjoy having them squeezed rhythmically whilst others enjoy a little twisting action. Experiment to see what gets you aroused. Your nipples will fill with blood as you play with them causing them to get harder and erect just like a penis does.

Tongues, teeth and suckling

Having a mouth exploring your nipples can feel incredible. A wet tongue feels delicious teasing your nipple or circling your areola. Gently sucking on an erect nipple can also be mindblowing, You can even use your teeth to gently scrape and nibble on a nipple.

Go gently though as they are very sensitive. Often if you have large breasts you can self-stimulate your nipples this way. If you can't do that then you will need the help of a partner. Oral nipple stimulation is one of my favourite activities, both giving and receiving.

Always ask someone before biting or nibbling and start with your teeth closer to the breast. Use your teeth around the areola rather than the tip of the nipple to start with and go gently listening to your partner.

Vibrator play

Vibrator nipple play is a lot of funYou can use any vibrator on your nipples, try stimulating the areola and well as the nipple itself and you will enjoy some fantastic sensations.

As your nipples get harder so the sensations will change and your nipples will get more sensitive.

Temperature play

I'm talking hot and cold here, having your partner drink a cold drink before sucking your nipples. Alternatively get them to drink a hot drink or alternate for some very diverse sensations. You can use icecubes for nipple play but keep it moving and don't do it for too long otherwise you risk a cold injury. Temperature play can be a lot of fun especially if you are restrained.

You can add some fun whilst sucking on a nipple by wetting it then blowing on it to chill it. Then suck it into your mouth to warm it up again. This simple technique works wonders for some quick temperature play. Top Tip - try it down below as well the next time you go down on a wet pussy.

Nipple clamps

Now we're talking some serious fun, you know you mean business when play needs equipment. Clamping a nipple can feel exquisite or painful depending on how it's done. If you don't like it intense then place the clamp behind the nipple so that it clamps the areola. For more intense stimulation clamp the nipple directly. With any sort of clamping always release the pressure regularly so that blood can flow back into the tissue.

Nipple sticks from Kink CraftA simple peg is often the first thing people use on their nipples and these can feel good. You can then move on to purpose made nipple clamps made out of plastic, metal or even wood. One I love the nipple sticks made by Kink Craft, I have reviewed a set of these and they not only look stunning but they feel great. They are also adjustable. I have also used a nipple stick to clamp my clitoris and that was amazing.

The header of this article features a set of spring-loaded crocodile clips with bells attached. This style of clamp is popular for a reason - they work well and they sound great too. This type of clamp often has screws so that you can adjust the strength of the clamping action.

You can get nipple clamps attached to gags such as the O-ring Gag & Nipple Clamps that I recently reviewed. For some really intense play, you can try magnetic nipple orbs, be warned though that these magnets are very strong.

When you remove a clamp the blood rushes back into the nipple and this feels very intense and is my favourite part of the clamping process.

Nipple Suckers

Taking having your nipples sucked to the extreme can be a lot of fun and using a nipple sucker can feel very intense. It's also a visual treat as the nipple and areola engorge with blood. They expand to a much larger size than they would normally do. When the suction is released the swelling stays and this makes your nipples much more sensitive.

Health

Nipples come in all shapes and sizes and yours will be perfectly normal no matter what shape they are. That said though you should regularly check your breasts and nipples for changes. Seeking medical advice if you are worried about anything at all to do with them.

Conclusion

Nipple play may not be everybody's kettle of fish but if you don't try it you can't say that it isn't for you. I strongly suggest that the next time you masturbate you include some nipple play. Who knows, it may give you the best orgasm of your life.

Why not add a comment below to let me know how you prefer to have your nipples stimulated, that way you can give ideas and help to other readers.

Other Reading

3 women discuss their nipple orgasms

Additional Info

  • Brief Synopsis Nipple play can be oh so good, check out these ideas for ways to stimulate your own or your partners
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Sex should be pleasurable but can it be even more pleasurable?

As you are reading this I can assume that you want to improve your sex life and why not? Everyone has the ability to add a bit of spice into their love-life. Well these ten tips are for all genders and hopefully they will give you some ideas and if it helps then great. If you have any other suggestions then why not add a comment at the bottom of this article.

So sit back, get comfy and prepare to take all of this on board.

1. Use toys or lubricant to enhance the experience

Never underestimate the power of a good lube. I always use lube when masturbating and it makes things so much more enjoyable. Penis owners can also enjoy a good lube too.

It also has some health benefits as well as it can prevent damage to your delicate mucous membranes.

It does make a difference and it feels so good when you add just a little bit of lube it can change how everything feels. Always go for a good quality water based lube and be careful of ones with harmful additives.

This excellent Big Lube Guide is written by Dangerous Lily and shows you what to avoid.

Bring some sex toys into the bedroom, you don't have to get too kinky. Why not try experimenting with a vibrator or dildo. Lots of couples enjoy bringing sextoys into their sex lives and it's a great way to pleasure each other. Talk through your likes and boundaries so that you both know what each other likes.

Or maybe try using a blindfold for some tie tease fun. Check out my beginners guide to Bondage for some other tips.

2. Take your time and spend more time on foreplay

It isn't a race, taking your time can both help to build up the excitement and also make your orgasms stronger. Foreplay is often undervalued or even skipped but it's a powerful tool that anyone can use.

Take your time to pleasure your partner or even just tease yourself. Caress, kiss and rub your partners erogenous zones to watch their excitement build.

Taking time on foreplay can make your orgasms much more satisfying. Whilst an orgasm isn't the be all and end all getting there can be so much fun.

3. Try new touches and sensations

This one is a must, try masturbating with a glove on or give your partner a massage with oils. Experiment with sensation play, maybe chill a dildo or vibe in the fridge before using it.

Have some fun with each others erogenous zones with an ice cube, you will be surprised how cold things can be so hot.

Try breathing on your partners skin, the back of the neck is a great spot as is the nipples and genitals. Warm breath can feel incredibly sensual and it can ramp up the excitement.

4. You can have amazing sex with yourself

Masturbation isn't dirty or un-natural, it's actually a a lot of fun and everyone does it. Masturbating even has health benefits.

Masturbation is a great opportunity to learn about your body. You can experiment and learn how areas of your body respond to different stimulus.

You can also use masturbation as a way to increase your stamina.

So get polishing the pearl you clitoris owners or doing the five knuckle shuffle for penis owners.

5. Great sex is based on consent

You can't have great sex without consent! It stands to reason as sex without consent is abuse or rape.

Talk with your partner if you want to try something new. Don't be shy about it, you never know they may have been thinking about it too.

Don't overstep your marks, if you agree to try something new then take it slowly and stick to the agreed plan.

6. Live out a fantasy or two

Try some tie tease fun or live out a fantasyThis one can be a lot of fun even if you are on your own. If there's something that you have always fancied trying then go for it. There is nothing stopping you from living out your fantasies and if you involve your partner then you can both enjoy them together.

For couples, why not agree to take it in turns to live out each others fantasies.

This can be a great way to have amazing sex as it's things that you have already fantasised about.

If you've read the books or seen the 50 Shades of Grey films then why not try sometie tease fun and games or light bondage.

7. Avoid distractions

Put your phone on standby. There is nothing worse than a phone ringing as you are grabbing the sheets and about to orgasm. It can be a real mood killer.

Take things a step further try having sex in a new location away from the stresses of everyday life. Book into a hotel room or send the kids to stay with their grandparents to give you some freedom.

8. Try watching some porn together

Try watching some porn togetherNow you can get porn on the internet more easily than you can order clothes so why not try watching some together.

Now I am not talking the kinky hardcore stuff (unless you are both into it). Choose something run of the mill the first time that you watch porn together.

Take turns selecting what you watch. This can be very enlightening and you can learn a lot about your partners tastes.

Why not try copying what you see and trying to keep up with the position changes and activities.

9. Talk dirty to each other

Something as simple as being called a "slut" can get me excited. Try talking dirty to each other. It may feel very clumsy the first time you do it but practice makes perfect.

Dirty talk can help to build up the suspense and excitement. Whisper in your partners ear during foreplay what you are going to do to him/her and enjoy the effect.

It is worth discussing words that you or your partner don't like. I hate the word "cunt" for example during normal conversations. But if my partner whispers in my ear something like "I'm going to shove my cock up your cunt" I will quite literally melt.

Words have power and they can be very sexual.

10. Don't be a selfish lover

Great sex when not is a mutual activity unless you are masturbating. Think of your partner and try to give them the most pleasure that you can. It will be reciprocated and you get what you give in the bedroom.

Don't be that person that wants to get him/herself off and once they have cum then that's it. Be a good lover and aim to get your partner off before you do. Better still try to have your orgasms coincide.

There is nothing hotter than a good old mutual orgasm, it bonds you and is amazing.

In summary, these are some tips that you can try to improve your sex life. Take your time and don't just fixate on the orgasm, treat it as just a destination. It's the journey there that is the most fun so enjoy it and try to arrive there with your partner at the same time.

Additional Info

  • Brief Synopsis These ten tips for great sex are easy to follow and can improve your sex life. Take things slow and easy and enjoy your sex.
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Right guys, listen up. In this instance size really does matter.

Cock rings are used to help get an erection and to maintain it for longer, they can even aid in confidence boosting and can also a visual treat. A cock ring can make your cock harder by restricting the flow of blood out of your penis and this can make it harder, they can even help you to keep your cock hard for longer than usual.

It's the fact that they are designed to restrict blood flow that makes correct sizing of paramount importance. If it is too small then it will cut off blood flow which isn't good for your penis and if you get one that's too big then it won't do its job properly as it won't restrict blood flow out of the penis.

Additional Info

  • Brief Synopsis Guys, do you fancy trying a cock ring for a bigger and harder erection? Well why wouldn't you want to get a harder cock, measuring yourself for one can be a confusing prospect and so I lay it all out here for you. The ultimate cock ring measurement guide.
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Giving great cunnilingus is not brain surgery

This article might just be what you are looking for if you and your partner enjoy oral sex but you're not sure if you are giving your partner the most pleasure possible. Maybe you have never tried a bit of cunnilingus and want some top tips in order to make a good impression when you do.

In this article I hope to give you some ideas and suggestions in order to improve your oral sex technique.

Just to be clear this article is all about licking pussy or cunnilingus as it is officially known. This is an amazing sex act and it can be an ideal foreplay technique before going on to the main event. It can even be a main event on its own and there is something amazing when you experience a skilful tongue working its magic on your lady parts - trust me on that one.

Your tongue is capable of delivering mind blowing orgasms if used in the right way and I hope that both you and your partner enjoy and benefit from these words of wisdom.

This article will no doubt be read by a lot of guys but trust me on this one it can also be useful to any women who wants to brush up on her pussy eating skills as well.

One added benefit of performing good oral sex is that you will really excite and arouse your partner so if it comes to penetrative sex you won't have the pressure of having to last so long as your partner will already be well on the way to a cracking orgasm.

Additional Info

  • Brief Synopsis Do you want to lick pussy like a pro? This guide is useful for anyone new to cunnilingus or for anyone who wants to up their game in order to really drive their partner wild with their tongue.
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How To Tell If Your Vagina, Clitoris, And Labia Are All Healthy

This ladies and gentlemen is one of the oldest of self doubt questions and it's right up there with the other classics such as "Is my dick big enough? (for the guys of course)" and "Does my bum look big in this? (for me when I buy a new dress)".

The answer of course to the age old question of "Is my vagina or vulva normal?" is a resounding YES and no as well. Yep, that's a bit confusing but it won't be soon I promise. You see, there's no such thing as a "norm" for vulvas, vaginas or clits for that matter so yours can't be compared against one.

You can forget what you have heard from your snarky friends, from the media or from watching porn, we are all different and every pussy looks different just as all mens genitalia looks different as well.

It's a complete myth that there is such as thing as a normal vagina in the looks department that is, I will come onto health issues later in this article. The honest truth is that your pussy is entirely normal - for you.

Additional Info

  • Brief Synopsis Is your pussy or vagina normal? Of course it is, let me explain why it will look different from other ones that you have seen and hear how I struggled with how mine looks in my earlier years.
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Some Inspirational E-stim Masturbation Techniques

First of all, this article is a little bit naughtier than my usual ones, and it depicts explicit visual demonstrations of electrode positioning on both penis owners and vulva owners so before you scroll down, please make sure it is safe and wise to do so where you are.

If you don't know what e-stim or electrosex is then check out my beginners guide to e-stim. It is a fantastic way to masturbate, that can lead to a hands-free e-stim orgasm.

This article is not safe for workI am often asked where are the best positions to place electrode pads as well as insertable electrodes and so in this article I will explain some of the ways that I have discovered to give yourself hands-free orgasms for both penis owners and vulva owners.

Yes, it is possible to achieve true hands-free orgasms while stimming, but it does take a bit to trial and error to find out what works best for you and let's face it just doing that is a good excuse to dust off the e-stim control box and to start experimenting.

Safety First

Think safety, always use equipment designed for the jobThese positions and masturbation techniques listed should only be done using equipment designed for the job. Remember that you shouldn't be passing an e-stim current any higher than your waist unless using specialised equipment designed to do just that.

Make sure that your e-stim equipment is serviceable and has passed any relevant standards such as the CE mark in Europe. Examine cables for damage especially near to the plugs and remember to attach electrodes with the control unit switched off to prevent any nasty surprise shocks.

Always think safety when you play with electrosex equipment as let's face it you want to be achieving hands-free orgasms for a long time to come.

Additional Info

  • Brief Synopsis I am always being asked what the best positions are for placing electrodes for hands free orgasms. So here is a list of the ways that I like to masturbate using e-stim equipment together with some good advice for the guys reading this.
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All E-stim Advice & Reviews On This Site

I thought that it was high time that I put all of my electrosex resources in one place so that anyone interested or curious about this amazing sexual activity can get some good advice and information about the equipment involved.

For anyone new or curious it can be a very confusing activity with lots of strange names for equipment and I hope to clarify that on this page. You can find my beginners advcie articles here together with reviews of every piece of e-stim equipment that I own.

What is E-stim?

E-stim involves electrical stiulation of the genitalsE-Stim or Electrosex are the terms used to describe the use of electrical stimulations sexually in order to achieve an orgasm and it can be practiced by both men and women. When I first started using estim equipment at the beginning of 2016 I wrote a Beginners Guide To E-Stim from a female perspective but it offers good advice for guys as well, so check it out if you are unsure about what the activity entails.

Recently though I thought I should try to express myself and I wrote an article detailing why I enjoy electrosex so much.

Additional Info

  • Brief Synopsis A collection of estim advice articles and reviews. Lose yourself in my journey into electrosex kink.
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