If you Love it, Lock it: an Introduction to Chastity Play
If you or someone you love has a penis, you might want to consider adding chastity to your boudoir repertoire. Whether for a single encounter, a steamy long weekend, or months at a time, Chastity can add a mind-blowing element to your sex-life. From an outside perspective, locking your own or your partner’s penis in a cage might seem like the opposite of sex. The truth is, chastity play can make your whole day feel like foreplay.
I didn’t understand the appeal myself for a long time. When I became curious enough to try it out, I was immediately surprised by how exciting it was. Honestly, I found myself getting too aroused to put on my first device. Eventually, I was able to get the device, lock it, and I handed over the key to my partner, and we entered a new era of our relationship.
Chastity cages, often called “male chastity devices” (although they can be worn by anyone with a penis) come in a few different basic designs, and a wide variety of materials. They are most commonly made of plastic, silicone, or steel. Off the shelf plastic or silicone models might cost $20-$30, whereas there are custom made stainless steel devices that can cost over $1000. If you’re new to the kink, I recommend starting on the lower end of the scale and seeing how you like it before finding a device that works for you.
The most common designs have two or three parts: a tube or cage that encapsulates the head and shaft of the penis and a ring that sits behind the testicles and holds the device in place. Some devices use a padlock, others an integrated cylinder lock. Regardless of design, a properly fitted device should not be painful, or especially uncomfortable even when aroused.
Probably the most common way to incorporate a chastity device into your love life is to use it to enhance orgasm control, a sort of ongoing tease and denial, in which the “keyholder” prevents the wearer from achieving orgasm without their say. It is a fairly low-effort way to turn one’s partner into a desperate, needy, lump of putty and desire in your hands.
In my relationship, we already had a D/s dynamic that incorporated orgasm denial. I was not allowed to come without my partner’s permission. Over the years, I found that sometimes in the course of busy stressful lives, where intimacy sometimes gets put by the wayside, that denial sometimes felt less like something we were engaged in, but rather something we just weren't doing. When we added a chastity device, that changed overnight. Being locked made me constantly aware of my arousal, my denial, and the connection I shared with my partner. Even for couples not big into BDSM, a bit of chastity can really heighten the sexual awareness of the wearer, often leading to increased arousal and attentiveness.
Single people may also enjoy chastity play. There are plenty of folks who are “self-locked” for a variety of reasons. The device serves as a reminder to practice self-control, or reduce focus on the penis for someone who wants to explore other types of pleasure without prematurely achieving release. For those trying to achieve a prostate orgasm for example, chastity is recommended as a way to “build up” the pleasure and focus on prostate stimulation.
The fun isn’t only for the wearer. If your partner is in chastity and you are entrusted with the key, congratulations, you just became a keyholder! Keyholding is a very low effort way to begin playing with power-exchange dynamics (or if you’re already exploring aspects of dominance and submission, to ramp up the intensity.) All you have to do to be a keyholder is not give up the keys, don’t unlock your partner until you want. (A note for beginners: do pay attention to pain and discomfort and remove a device that doesn’t fit properly or risk causing injury to your partner).
When it comes to Keyholding, the device is doing 90% of your work for you. Every new movement, every hint of excitement, every time your partner sits down or goes to the restroom they are reminded of the intimate control you have over their body. You can tease them by displaying the keys as jewellery, or just hinting that you’re thinking about letting them out. Watch them melt into a puddle of desire every time you see them toying with the keys.
Chastity play may not be for everyone. I have seen some guys say that they would never let someone lock their dick in a cage. For my partner and I, it was an instant hit; I put my first device on in 2017, and have since progressed to wearing a device 24/7 more often than not. We’ve gone from a cheap silicone device off of amazon, to a $165 midrange HolyTrainer, and now a $600 custom 3D printed Evotion Wearables Orion, with an apadravya piercing for extra security. That’s a lot of time, money, and even blood, we have been willing to part with to engage fully with this kink, and I think that is the best recommendation I can give.
If you’re curious, but not yet ready to jump in, I always recommend reading Denying Thumper and Edge of Vanilla, two very well written blogs by guys who have been living the chastity lifestyle much longer than I. Chastity play can be for a single encounter or for a lifetime, but if you love it, lock it up!
I enjoyed reading Peroxides's experiences with self chastity. If you enjoyed this post then please make a comment down below, we would love to hear you thoughts on Peroxide's guest post. Thank you Peroxide for this Guest Post.