Joanne's Sex Machine and Sex Toy Reviews

Welcome to my siteWelcome to my site, I hope that you enjoy my reviews and articles. I have a fascination with sex toys and in particular sex and fucking machines, e-stim and BDSM.

I have a lot of fun doing what I do and I hope it shows in my reviews and articles.

I love hearing from my readers so please don't be shy, post a comment or get in touch.

Joanne xxx


Blush Novelties Real Nude Sumo Violet 9.5 Inch Realistic Silicone Dildo

The Real Nude Sumo Dildo from Blush Novelties tickled my fancy

I love it when a dildo really flicks my switch and becomes my new bestie. The Blush Novelties Real Nude Sumo is one such dildo, it can do really nice things to me in a very naughty way.

This colourful dildo was sent to me by the lovely folks over at latex, leather & Lace. If you get the chance to drop by their walk-in store you should do so as they are so nice.

"I love using this dildo by hand but strapping it to one of my fucking machines brings it to life. The high speeds coupled with the hands-free nature of fucking machine fun has me clawing the sheets in no time at all"

Joanne

This review has been a delightful one to 'research' and write. The Sumo has really opened my eyes to the range available from Blush Novelties and stocked by Latex, Leather & Lace.

So, read on to find out why I highly rate this dildo and why it works so well for my anatomy.

The Probe And Probe Beast Fucking Machines From Orgasm Alley

It's nice to see these fucking machines in the UK with sexmachines.co.uk

It isn't very often that I get asked to review two (yes you read that right) fucking machines at the same time. So you can imagine my excitement when Dave from Sexmachines.co.uk asked me to give him my opinion of the Probe and Probe Beast from Orgasm Alley in the USA.

These are two machines that I have often lusted over and have heard a lot about, and so it was fantastic to be given the opportunity to be able to get my hands on them.

"The Probe Beast has a fantastic motor that I couldn't stall no matter how hard I tried. This is the perfect machine for hard anal fucking although you may have to lock the legs down to something as Newton's third law states that thusting a massive dildo into a tight hole can make a fucking machine walk."

Joanne

As always I didn't have to wait long for the courier to arrive with the two machines from sexmachines.co.uk as their service is exceptionally quick.

I could hardly contain my excitements when I started to unbox them, so read on to find out how these two machines compare against each other and my other machines as well.

Yubo F1 Fucking Machine From Sexmachines.co.uk

Another fun fucking machine from the sexmachines.co.uk range

I do have the best job in the world I think, especially when Dave from sexmachines.co.uk gets in touch with me asking if I would be interested in reviewing another fucking machine for them.

This time they want me to review the Yubo F1. I had seen some of the other Yubo machines on their site, and they seem ideal for anyone new to fucking machines due to their simplicity.

"Fucking machines never tire, they never complain, and you can trust them not to wipe their cock on your pillow after fucking you (don't ask LOL)."

Joanne

Of course, I agreed to review it for them as you know how much I enjoy my sex machine action. Fucking Machines are just so versatile, and it's always nice to try something new.

I went into this review with no expectations and having reviewed a lot of sex machines I looked forward to seeing how this one would compare with what I have reviewed in the past. So read on to find out where the Yubo F1 starts on my fucking machine starting grid.

HurtMe: Cat-o'-Nine-Tails Ariadne From Meo.de

This is a serious bit of kit that delivers serious results

Now I love my impact play, but the thought of being on the receiving end of a cat o' nine tails terrified me. The legendary punishment implement used throughout history for its extreme and cruel efficiency.

When I was asked by Meo if I would review one for them I must admit to a little trepidation but, you know me, the thought of an excuse to get my backside out for some corporal punishment was too good to miss so, of course, I said yes.

"I just bit my lip and waited for his order. He told me to stand and go into the dining room where he forced me to bend over the dining room table exposing my buttocks."

Joanne

So for anyone unaware of the history of the Cat o' nine tails, it is an implement synonymous with punishment in the Royal Navy and other institutions. People often didn't survive its use, but I had high hopes of doing so.

The Cat was going to be something special, and I couldn't wait to get started with it.

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