Joannes Reviews

A Rabbit Vibe that would give Thumper a run for his money

So Divine got in touch with me to see if I would like to review some of their new range from the #Selflove selection. I think you can guess my response :) Of course, I said yes please, as I have thoroughly enjoyed their sex toys in the past.

I then had to sit and wait for the delivery, which I will admit would be pretty dull if I did not have other things to do to distract me.

"The silky-smooth texture makes it slide in smoothly, and the shape makes it almost effortless to hold and move."

Joanne

I did not have long to wait before the package arrived at my door. Placed on my doorstep by a cheerful post person who waved as they left.

It is always exciting when I get a box of items, not knowing exactly what products are inside. It's almost like Christmas, just without the wrapping paper.

It looks like I may be on the move again

For those who have been following me for a while, you will know that I moved my operation (that sounds grand) into a rented office space last year. This was due to having space issues working from home.

I then moved into a bigger office as my empire grew too large for the old one. Three 3D printers in a small office will do that.

This year sees me yearning to expand again, this time into a workshop type of environment to work with my 3D printers in a better environment. I also want to build a laser engraver (yes I am a sucker for punishment) for some future projects I have in mind.

Title of the review

I am delighted to bring you a guest review from RubberStimmer, a long time stimmer and rubber fetishist. I love hearing about new pieces of sex tech and the SPT, and V2K conversion kit has me experiencing a little bit of penis envy. I can only imagine how good they must feel.

This kit is designed to improve the performance of the Venus 200 and Tremblr male masturbators and I hope you enjoy this guest review as much as I did.

"If you like long edging sessions, this is an excellent addition to your toy bag. Unlike the SK system, a column milker is easier to use solo, and cleanup effort is just the receiver."

RubberStimmer

Guest Reviewer - RubberStimmer

The Serious Kit Electro STP or receiver was designed for their now iconic, milking system.

A piece of kit that I suspect plays a part in the fantasies of many, but more often than not it is out of reach.

The MASTER is a hole stretchers dream of a dildo

Once again, I was delighted when John Thomas Toys got in touch to ask if I would like to review some of their very newest items. I didn't even have to think about it.

As this dildo was new, they had not even placed the pictures on their website before sending them to me. Because of this, I had no idea as to what to expect until a very heavy box arrived.

"You get the slight pop as the whole of the glans slide fully inside you. That is a feeling I always enjoy. As you sink more of the shaft inside, you get to enjoy the slight stretch from the widening shaft."

Joanne

Having already reviewed a selection of dildos and stretchers from John Thomas Toys, I was excited to see what their designers had created now. The names certainly did not give me any ideas.

Knowing only that they were called Master and Essex Geezer, I said yes I would love to review these for you and then I just sat back and waited for them to arrive. This review features the Master dildo.

Essex Geezer, a diamond bloke with a huge cock

I do love reviewing and get very excited when I am asked to review something before it is even advertised on the companies website.

Well, this happened again with the John Thomas Toys Essex Geezer dildo. Even though I knew the name, I had no idea what it would actually look like when I agreed to review it.

"Essex Geezer is a chap that you will want more than a one night stand with. I can understand why Essex girls always seem to have a smile on their faces now."

Joanne

If you check out their website, you will see that it's impossible to guess what a product will look like until you can see it. But one thing I knew for sure was it was going to be larger than life.

I never have long to wait for John Thomas Toys to arrive after they say they are sending me something and I could hardly contain my excitement.

They say that all good things come in threes and that is true of the Tom, Dick & Zoltok dildo

Reviewing can be hard work, but it does have its fun moments. After all, I have to play with the item before I can write an honest review.

When asked if I would like to review the Tom, Dick and Zoltock toy from John Thomas Toys. It was not even live on their website, so I had no idea what it would even look like. After thinking about it for say, um a whole 5 seconds I said yes.

"Once I wiggled it inside, I found that the three separate heads rubbed along my walls beautifully. The sensation caused was terrific, then to add the three different sides was almost like adding fuel to the fire."

Joanne

I didn't have long to wait for the delivery to arrive after being told it had been dispatched. I was so excited when the doorbell rang that I nearly beat the dog to the door lol.

I will admit to being extremely surprised at the size of the box, as it was much larger than the standard ones I have received in the past.

Getting busy with it....

Well, it seems like I just keep getting busier and busier. This week saw me breaking through the magic 100,000 page views a month metric, and that has really cheered me up.

I have been laid up with pneumonia for over a week now feeling rather sorry for myself, I think I am on the way back to health again now, but it has left me so run down.

So as you can imagine I was delighted when I checked out some statistics about my site and realised that finally, after five and a half years I have hit 100k page views. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with my rambling posts for all this time.

Taking your fucking machine play to the next level using your phone

Last month Hismith got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing their new fucking machine controller for them.

I didn't have to think long before replying - "Yes, please". I mean think about it, a controller with remote functionality, Bluetooth and an app to enable control over the internet. It sounded perfect.

"I loved exploring the fucking routines that others had created, and some of them are one hell of a good ride. I also enjoyed creating my own to edge sub'r' and keep her begging to be allowed to cum hard."

Joanne

So I got my Hismith Premium Fucking Machine ready and waited for the new control box to arrive. I didn't have to wait long. Amazon fulfilled the order, and I was soon in possession of a brown Amazon package. I have spent the last couple of weeks thoroughly enjoying getting to know the new control box (any excuse for a good machine rodgering).

Generally, I dislike app-controlled sex toys, often finding them a little finicky or gimmicky but read on to find out what I thought of this controller.

Slip into something very comfortable this Christmas

I am delighted to be able to bring you a Christmas competition with a difference. While not being seasonally or even politically correct, I do have something for penis owners out there that will put a massive smile on their faces.

Forget stuffing the Turkey, I have something much more fun to "stuff".

Get yourself off in style with this amazing masturbator called THE BOOTY CALL from the fantastic John Thomas Toys.

So how does the ABox Mk2 stack up against the 2B for audio play?

I really enjoyed reviewing the ABox Mk2 for E-Stim Systems. It is a totally redesigned upgrade of their original Audio Stim box the ABox which came to the marketplace in 2006.

It is great to see that E-Stim Systems are continually improving their range of control boxes. Here is a link to my review of the ABox Mk2.

The ABox Mk2 is a single channel control box with two modes of operation, and these are line in and its internal microphone.

Almost immediately after publishing my review of the ABox Mk2, I started to receive messages and enquiries about how it compares to the E-Stim Systems 2B.

So that brings me to this article. I have spent the day playing with both boxes side by side, comparing both, it was tough to compare them.