Joanne's Sex Machine and Sex Toy Reviews

Welcome to my site, I hope that you enjoy my reviews and articles. I have a fascination with sex toys and in particular sex and fucking machines and I have a lot of fun doing what I do. I hope it shows in my reviews and articles. I love hearing from my readers so don't be shy, post a comment or get in touch.

Joanne xxx

Displaying items by tag: SexToys

Black Friday And Cyber Monday SexToy Sales

You can save big time in these sextoy sales

Looking for a bargain, who isn't? These Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales have to be seen to be believed. Get yourself ready for a very kinky Christmas by grabbing a bargain for yourself or that special friend who needs spoiling.

Black Friday 2017 is Friday 24th November, & Cyber Monday 2017 is Monday 27th November.

Black Friday Sale, upto 70% off


Black Friday Sale, Deals change 3 times daily

Joyboxx - Hygienic SexToy Storage System

A surprisingly simple sex toy storage solution

I am totally buzzed to be reviewing a sex toy storage box - finally. Yes, I am a bit weird I guess. But, as more and more people buy sex toys more of us face the dilemma of how to store them discreetly and efficiently.

This is a problem for lots of people for many different reasons, maybe you don't want your kids finding your toys. Maybe it's your parents or housemates that you want to keep in the dark about your sex toy shenanigans.

The Joyboxx looks like your average run of the mill makeup case and so it won't look out of place in anyone's bedroom. This makes it very discreet and the perfect sex toy storage solution.

Joanne

In my younger years, I could get pretty imaginative when it came to keeping my sex toys under my Mums radar when I lived at home. I wish I had something like the Joyboxx to hide them in.

Meo.de sent me this sex toy storage box to review in exchange for a fair and honest review and that is what I did. Although I must admit I wish they did them in wheelie bin sizes for my sex toy collection.

Let me tell you why you should get one of these great boxes. So, if you are looking for a discreet way to store your genitals' best friends then read on.

Fleshlight Vortex Male Masturbator

Fleshlight Pink Lady Vortex - Slip Inside Something Comfortable

This is my first review of a male masturbator and so I had to enlist the aid of a "Stunt-Cock" in the guise of my husband. He was over the moon at the prospect of getting a toy to review, his attitude being "about time". I can't argue with that I suppose, he normally just gets to see me going through the review process but with this one he gets to have some fun.

Fleshlight is the brand name for the worlds largest and most popular brand of male masturbators and I have heard a lot about them but this was also going to be my first introduction to them as well as my husbands.

After looking through the extensive Fleshlight range at bondara.co.uk we chose the Vortex to review as the inner texture looks pretty intense and so I ordered one.

I got very turned on using it on my Stunt Cock and found that even for couples it is a great sex toy. Throw in a little light tie tease fun and a blindfold and you have some really naughty fun.

So how did it actually feel? Read on to find out.

Boom Chi 10 Speed Silicone Vibrator

The Boom Chi - A Sleek Silicone Vibrator

I was sent the Chi to review by the nice people over at SexToys.co.uk in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Who was I to argue, I love silicone vibrators and this one looked really nice in the pics that I had seen on their website.

The Boom line of vibrators is new and I was looking forward to experiencing one of them myself. There are nine vibrators in the range and these include the Orna, the Olive, the Maple, the Elm, the Miki, the Lina, the Ayla, the Hada and finally the Chi which I have been sent.

The Boom Chi is a stylish water resistant 100% silicone vibrator with ten different settings. It costs just £39.99 which is £10 under the manufacturers RRP.

I find that penetration is incredibly easy with this toy due to its very rounded tip, it parts your inner lips easily and guides itself inside.

So on with the review, I have given this vibrator a thorough thrashing, so how does it perform?

Sliquid Naturals Silk Hybrid Lubricant

Sliquid Naturals Silk Hybrid Lubricant

This is probably my favourite lube from the Sliquid range, it is totally body safe, very effective and being a hybrid lube I can safely use it with my silicone sex toys.

Sliquid Silk is a really good lube that lives up to its name. As with all the lubes in this range it is long lasting, so doesn’t need constant topping up which means you can lay back and just enjoy yourself.

I was sent the Sliquid Silk Lube by SexToys.co.uk in exchange for an honest and frank review of its performance.

SexToys.co.uk is a large UK sex toy retailer that has amazing customer service coupled with a very extensive range of adult products.

It is relatively thick which makes it very easy to apply without having it running everywhere. This means that you need less in use and it also means that you get it where you need it most

The Rocks Off 7 Speed Butt Throb Butt Plug

No Butts, It's Got To Be Butt Throb

I'm not someone who particularly enjoys a lot of anal action except for the occasional fucking machineprobing when I'm in one of "those" moods and this butt plug from Rocks Off is much bigger than I'd normally opt for. That lead to two problems initially. The first being actually getting it up my bum and secondly I had to try to stop myself from using it vaginally so I could keep trying to get it up my ass as it was so much fun when deep inside my pussy.

It's safe to say that at the end of this review I am going to recommend it for "front door" use as well as "back door" use. The last thing to go where the sun doesn't shine was my Flange Electrode and that is much narrower than this bad boy.

Once I managed to finally get it deep into my ass it sort of popped in as the widest part entered me and I let out a gasp as waves of pleasure washed over me. It wasn't until I switched it on though that it really started to get me off - very quickly I might add.

Sliquid Sassy Anal Lubricant

Sliquid Naturals Sassy Anal Lubricant

I was keen to try out the Sliquid Naturals Sassy Anal Lube and have used it on numerous occasions now with various butt plugs and also with my Flange e-stim electrode.

I am delighted to say that it performed exactly as expected, being water based and free from parabens and glycerin means that it is kind on your lady (or man) bits.

I found that in use it provided a lot of lubrication but as with all water based lubes I did need to top it up in use especially for fucking machine play. That said though it did last a long time and provided the lubrication I need.

Sliquid Naturals H2O Water Based Lubricant

Another High Quality Lube From Sliquid

I have tested out another of the great lubes from the Sliquid Naturals Range, this time though it was their water based lube - H2O.

This is a very good lube indeed, a little went a very long way and it is completely body safe - bonus. Everytime I pick up a Sliquid product I am amazed by just how they have got it absolutely right in terms of presentation, ingredients and performance.

I was sent the Sliquid Naturals H2O Lube by SexToys.co.ukin exchange for an honest and frank review of its performance.

SexToys.co.ukis a large UK sex toy retailer that has amazing customer service coupled with a very extensive range of adult products.

I found it to be a very sensual lubricant and one that I am delighted to recommend so if you are looking for a body safe water based lube then this one is definitely for you

Sliquid Naturals Silver Silicone Lubricant

Sliquid Naturals Silver Silicone Lubricant

This is another amazing lube from the Sliquid Range, this one however is a silicone based one so whilst it performs flawlessly it won't be safe for use with any pure silicone sex toys that you have.

This is the first purely silicone lubricant that I have used and I was amazed at just how long it lasted. With most water based lubes you often have to "top them up" but not this one, just a few drops goes a very long way which makes it amazing value for money.

I was sent the Sliquid Naturals Silver Silicone Lube by SexToys.co.uk in exchange for an honest and frank review of its performance.

SexToys.co.uk is a large UK sex toy retailer that has amazing customer service coupled with a very extensive range of adult products.

This is definitely at the top of the lubes I have tried to date. I don’t know about you, but I find it off putting when I have to hunt for the lube when playing, and this lube definitely doesn’t need topping up in my opinion.

Cheeky Wash 65ml Antibacterial Cleaner

Cheeky Wash 65ml Antibacterial Cleaner

After hearing about Cheeky Wash online and checking out the manufacturers website this product definitely piqued my interest. Having read the manufacturers blurb it got me even more interested in Cheeky Wash and I jumped at the chance to review it when SexToys.co.uk sent me a bottle in exchange for an honest review.

The manufacturer states:

Cheeky Wash is a NEW exciting and UK made “Sex Wash!” Ideal for sweaty sessions, outdoor loving, naughty camping, film industry, when you don’t want to get up, before work, on lunch, swinging, promiscuous partners and events. You can keep and use this anywhere!

Now I often end up having a naughty rub of myself when out and about and this seemed to be the ideal product for cleaning myself up and removing any smells from my fingers. How do you review a product like this? Thankfully the answer is to have lots of fun yourself and use it to clean up afterwards, I paid a lot of attention to smell and the feel of the cleaner and I wanted to know if it lives up to the manufacturers claims. So on with the review....

"This wash really is a great body wash when you don't have any water to hand. It really does remove body odours (thankfully) and left me feeling fresher as well."

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