I am really excited after using the Tremor

I am so excited to be able to review the Tremor Sex Machine. This is a ride on vibrator in the style of the legendary Sybian and Motorbunny.

It has some fantastic features, and it blows both the Sybian and the Motorbunny out of the water, retailing at $849. That is an impressive price point for a machine of this calibre and capability.

Lighter. Safer. More Powerful!

Half the Price!

Slide and glide your way to an orgasm with this Monkey Rocker style sex machine

As anyone who reads my blog regularly knows, I have a thing for fucking machines in all of their forms. One thing I have been longing to try is a monkey rocker style ride on Fucking Machine.

So when Dave from sexmachines.co.uk got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing one you can imagine that it didn't take me long to reply with a resounding yes, please.

"Having got used to controlling the Love Rider, I have had some very lovely orgasms riding it. It is one of those sex machines that is also very good for putting on a show. As you ride it anyone in the room with you gets an excellent display of the dildo sliding in and out of you."

Joanne

This style of sex machine is entirely human-powered, you use your weight and legs muscles to glide back and forth, and a mechanical linkage turns that linear motion into the thrusting action of the dildo.

Sound like a lot of fun, doesn't it? Read on to find out how I got on with it.

Another machine that proves the adage that you get what you pay for

Having recently reviewed the S1 Cheap Sex Machine Bundle for sexmachines.co.uk I was excited to see another machine arrive in the post.

This time it was one of the Machine Gun style fucking machines, the S2. I have heard lots of things about this type of device, unfortunately, none of it has been good.

"I did think the sticker on the side of the machine was almost as funny as the instructions, apparently, it's a Happiness Browser."

Joanne

I often get e-mails from people who own one asking if they are doing something wrong when setting it up, so it was nice to finally get my hands on one of them to see it for myself.

Unfortunately, this is going to be a review that may sound a little whiney as it was challenging to find any positives about this machine. So with a weary heart, it is on with the review.

A sub £50 fucking machine sounds too good to be true

I do enjoy my fucking machines and have quite a bit of experience with them now. I always relish the opportunity to try new ones out as that gives me an excellent opportunity to compare their features and performance with others that I have enjoyed.

Fucking machine reviews are so much fun to write, as usually, you can pretty much guarantee a good time while getting to know them (in the name of science of course).

That is, they are usually fun to write, this review is a little different as you will see. The problem with writing reviews is that sooner or later something is going to land on your lap (or between your legs in this case) that really stretches your ability to give it a fair evaluation.

The S1 Cheap Sex Machine is one such product, so settle back with a cup of coffee and a biscuit and let me tell you why I will not be recommending this particular cheap sex machine.

It's nice to see these fucking machines in the UK with sexmachines.co.uk

It isn't very often that I get asked to review two (yes you read that right) fucking machines at the same time. So you can imagine my excitement when Dave from Sexmachines.co.uk asked me to give him my opinion of the Probe and Probe Beast from Orgasm Alley in the USA.

These are two machines that I have often lusted over and have heard a lot about, and so it was fantastic to be given the opportunity to be able to get my hands on them.

"The Probe Beast has a fantastic motor that I couldn't stall no matter how hard I tried. This is the perfect machine for hard anal fucking although you may have to lock the legs down to something as Newton's third law states that thusting a massive dildo into a tight hole can make a fucking machine walk."

Joanne

As always I didn't have to wait long for the courier to arrive with the two machines from sexmachines.co.uk as their service is exceptionally quick.

I could hardly contain my excitements when I started to unbox them, so read on to find out how these two machines compare against each other and my other machines as well.

Another fun fucking machine from the sexmachines.co.uk range

I do have the best job in the world I think, especially when Dave from sexmachines.co.uk gets in touch with me asking if I would be interested in reviewing another fucking machine for them.

This time they want me to review the Yubo F1. I had seen some of the other Yubo machines on their site, and they seem ideal for anyone new to fucking machines due to their simplicity.

"Fucking machines never tire, they never complain, and you can trust them not to wipe their cock on your pillow after fucking you (don't ask LOL)."

Joanne

Of course, I agreed to review it for them as you know how much I enjoy my sex machine action. Fucking Machines are just so versatile, and it's always nice to try something new.

I went into this review with no expectations and having reviewed a lot of sex machines I looked forward to seeing how this one would compare with what I have reviewed in the past. So read on to find out where the Yubo F1 starts on my fucking machine starting grid.

A machine that both surprised me and gave me a fantastic rodgering

I love my fucking machines and have used so many now that I am a bit of a connoisseur and I like to be pleasantly surprised by a machine's performance as that is definitely better than being underwhelmed.

Many years ago I tried a fucking machine called the Maestro, and it didn't really flick my switch having been spoilt by other better machines at the time.

"I love the way that fucking machines just never tire and they never give up. Believe me, you will be first to tap out when you can't take any more orgasms not the machine."

Joanne

I was delighted when Sexmachines.co.uk got in touch asking me if I would be interested in reviewing one of their new Blue Balls XL Version 2.0 fucking machines and I jumped at the chance to review it. Its design is very similar to the old Maestro, and I wanted to see if this one lives up to the hype about it as I have heard nothing but praise about the Blue Balls.

Sexmachines.co.uk have one of the most extensive selections of sex and fucking machines in the world, and they stock some of the best around. I really looked forward to seeing how this one performed, so read on to see what I think of it.

All hail Caesar. No, not the salad dressing, the Fucking Machine

This is a fucking machine that I have had my eyes on for a long time. It is now in its third design iteration, and improvements are continually being made to the design to improve its performance.

I was delighted when the lovely people over at sexmachine.co.uk got in touch asking if I would like to review one for them. As you can imagine, I almost fell off my chair in my haste to reply with a huge "Yes please".

"Once the dildo was inside me, I could just relax and enjoy the rhythmic fucking that I received, and on its highest setting, it ripped an orgasm out of me in quick order."

Joanne

This is the fourth machine that I have reviewed for them, you can see the others here. It was sent to me for free in exchange for a fair and honest evaluation of its performance and this will not affect the outcome of this review.

One of my primary interests in this machine is its unique leg arrangements which are unlike anything I have reviewed before. So read on to see what I think of this machines performance.

Machine delivered corporal punishment

I learned something new recently; spanking machines are a thing! I was delighted when the good people over at sexmachines.co.uk got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing one of them.

The chance to review another sex machine was too good to miss and as I do enjoy a good spanking, and so does submissive 'r' I jumped at the chance.

"I have been on the receiving end of it a couple of times now, but it is submissive 'r' who has really tested this out under the steadying hand of my Stunt Cock."

Joanne

I was then left viewing the assembly video on the sexmachines.co.uk website to understand how it all goes together so that I didn't waste any time when it arrived.

I didn't have to wait long as sexmachines.co.uk are always very quick with their deliveries.

A fucking machine that was so much fun to get to know - intimately.

With a myriad of fucking machines on the market, it is always hard to work out what is good or merely a waste of money. I love reviewing sex machines as it means that there is more information out there for customers to make informed decisions before parting with their hard-earned cash.

I was therefore delighted when Sexmachines.co.uk got in touch asking for another impartial review of one of the best selling machines, the uFuc Pro.

"It has a lot of power, even managing to start a double ended dildo slowly when it was fully inserted after I had stopped it on purpose. Some cheap machines don't have the torque to do that, and you go from stop to high speed, but this one is smooth and fantastic. I was genuinely impressed."

Joanne

I jumped at the chance of reviewing another machine for them, and they sent me this one in exchange for a fair and impartial review.

So without letting anything out of the bag read on to find out if this one is a keeper or just a wannabee performer.

The Willie Wanka is a pussy and ass pleaser

As you can tell by the domain name of my site I have a real passion for fucking and sex machines. There is something magical about using one and feeling the raw power and unwavering performance that will outlast even the most ardent rider.

The biggest problem with sex and fucking machines are their cost which was one of the reasons that I set up my site. I wanted to review sexmachines so that people could make informed choices before spending their hard earned money.

"It takes a lot of torque to overcome the resistance of a buried dildo and this machines copes with that in its stride."

Joanne

But the high costs mean that it isn't often that I get to review a new fucking machine, but it's always a huge treat when I do so. I have reviewed some of the most expensive sex machines on the market. However, it is the cheaper machines, the entry ones if you like that interest me as they are affordable options to enter the world of mechanical sex.

I was therefore delighted when the lovely people over at sexmachines.co.uk got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing the Willie Wanka mk II fucking machine for them. I jumped at the chance (obviously), and they sent me this machine for free in exchange for a fair and honest review of it. So here are my thoughts on this fun looking machine.

Getting the most bang for your buck with a Sybian

The Sybian is a legend in its own right, for 30 years it has been providing hard orgasms to women all around the world.

It's without a doubt the most powerful vibrator that I have ever had the privilege of having between my legs but getting the most out of it requires some thought and lots of practice.

It's all too easy just to straddle it and then really ramp up the power too quickly but that will leave you sore and probably a little jaded about its capabilities. Instead, follow these simple steps to ensure that you get the most out of a Sybian.

This piece of sextech is pretty impressive and delivers cracking orgasms

I was asked to review the MotorBunny sex machine by the amazing @CaraSutra as part of her Pleasure Panel Reviewer Program. I jumped at the chance to try this new entry into the marketplace as it isn't often that you get to try a new sex machine now is it?

The MotorBunny borrows its roots from the amazing Sybian sex machine, for those of you who haven't heard of the Sybian - where have you been all of your life? It's a veritable legend, a TV and radio star in its own rights and riding it caused me to squirt for the first time in my life. Oh, happy memories.

An orgasm on the Motorbunny is like someone has dropped a hand-grenade into a kettle. Yes, the water slowly starts to boil and then 'BANG' the grenade explodes and blows the kettle apart.

Joanne

Having thoroughly enjoyed a Sybian I was really keen to see just how well the MotorBunny would perform, as the Sybian is a hard act to follow.

I Am One Lucky Reviewer (who could hardly walk after a week with a Sybian)

I was happilly tweeting away one day when Karen sent me a message asking if I would be interested in reviewing one of their latest creations - the silicone G-Egg? I replied that I would love to but I don't own a Sybian (unfortunately) as I got hold of one through @FuckMachineIan's rental service. To my delight Karen got in touch with Ian and they both worked some magic. Two weeks later a Sybian arrived with not just one new silicone attachment to review but three. I couldn't believe my luck and actually considered going out and buying a National Lottery ticket as my luck was running high. I was spoilt for choice with a G-Egg, an Orb and a Triple Delight attachment all in a stunning shade of purple (my favourite colour).

Now, for those of you that don't know the Sybian is a legendary sex toy and a star of TV and radio shows alike, it has the ability to literally rip orgasms from you again and again and can be an instrument of sweet bliss or absolute torture depending on whose hands the controls are in. I really enjoyed previously reviewing one and you can read that review HERE.

It was like an epiphany when I found the sweet spot and I just kept orgasming over and over again with it and for those of you curious, yes it made me squirt.

Joanne

I had been given a Sybian for a week so that I could get to know all three attachments intimately and can honestly say it was one hell of a week but I don't think the neighbours like me anymore LOL. So, what's the fuss all about with the new range of Silicone Sybian Attachments? Well read on to find out just how good they are and why if you own a Sybian you should consider getting some of them in to enjoy.

The Tremblr Will Leave You Totally Dry

You can imagine my delight when I was approached by Ian from fmachinefun.co.uk asking if I would be interested in reviewing a new male milking machine from the manufacturers of the F-machine Pro Fucking Machine (www.f-machine.com). My interest was piqued when I was informed that they are producing a male milking machine to rival the Venus. The Tremblr (no that isn't a typo) is almost ready for general release and by the time you get to read this review it will be just about ready so I am honoured to have been allowed to review one of their pre-production machines for them.

Well I was very impressed and every time that we have put it to the test it has done the trick and what surprised me the most was just how controllable it is. This little machine would be perfect in any dungeon and is ideal for domme/sub play. Yes it's great on your own but if you hand the controls over to someone else it can be one hell of a wild ride.

Now I thought this was an amazing machine but the manufacturers have actually made over 30 tweaks and changes to make it even better, if you are interested in just how good it really is then read on for the juicy bits.

The Venus Litterally Sucks You Dry

I love SexTech and I am delighted that I have managed to get my hands on a Venus For Men male masturbator to review, this is not my usual type of sex machine and it is aimed mainly for the guys although it does have one or two tricks up its sleeves to even entertain women as well.

The lovely @FuckMachineIan over at www.fmachinefun.co.uk offered to send me one to review after I was speaking to @Sybianmaker on twitter about them in exchange for an honest and fair review. I was so excited to finally get my hands on one of these machines and my Stunt Cock was primed and really interested too.

"The first words out of my stunt cocks mouth when I took the gag out were - "F*#!%ing hell that was incredible"."

The Venus is a male masturbator with a difference and it's made in the US by ABCO who are the creators of the amazing Sybian Sex Machine which is one of my all time favourite sex toys (Read My Review Of The Sybian).

I Was Blown Away By The Venus

I have been lucky enough to review a Venus Sex Machine. This is a machine from the makers of the Sybian which is a legendry sex machine that needs no introduction.

I was a little confused as to how the Venus works prior to receiving one to review from www.fmachinefun.co.uk but I'm happy to say that setting it up is very simple and OMG is it effective.

I was mesmerised watching it bob up and down on my Stunt Cock and it didn't take long to milk him dry. Watch out for the full review in the very near future.

As you will probably be aware, I have a thing for sex and fucking machines and love playing with them. Either using them on someone, playing on my own with them or being teased with them by someone else. I would love to be able to review more to give you all the benefit of an honest and detailed review but they cost a lot of money so in real terms sex machine reviews will be few and far between.

I am constantly saving up for new toys and fucking machines and when I have enough I will be working my way through this list of delights. If you fancy chipping in to help me buy one then I will be forever in your debt, just get in touch with me to help me review these incredible products.

If you are a retailer or manufacturer and want me to do a review of them then please do get in touch I would love to be able to review something for you. Well without further ado, here is a wishlist of the machines that I would love to be able to experience and review for you all.....


Love Rider - Funky Rocker Clone

Loverider Monkey RockerAvailable from: sexmachines.co.uk
Price: £190.80

It sounds like a great concept, you use your own muscles and body movements to literally fuck yourself as hard and as fast as you want.

You sit on the Love Rider and thrust yourself forward and backwards, the linkage on it then translates that movement into the up and down thrusts of a dildo mounted on it.

With a maximum stroke length of eight inches I can't wait to be able to ride it to some great orgasms. Whilst enjoying the exercise.


Tango Fucking Machine

Tango Fucking MachineAvailable from: sexmachines.co.uk
Price: £2,700

This is state of the art fucking machine and I like the fact that you can program it to create unique fucking sensations. It offers a lot of potential for BDSM games and subbie fun.

It can deliver upto 300 thrusts per minute which should keep me happy and you can use vac-u-lock dildos on it as well as a male masturbator.

If you set it to short strokes you can get upto 1000 strokes a minute - WOW.

With a maximum stroke length of eleven inches I wont be complaining at all. This is the Daddy of all fucking machines and one day I hope to experience one.


The Cowgirl

The Cowgirl Sex machineAvailable from: sexmachines.co.uk
Price: £1,260

This looks like a fantastic Sybian clone, I recently reviewed both the Sybian and the Motorbunny and I would love to see how the Cowgirl performs alongside them both.

It is a ride on sex machine that you straddle and it vibrates at an amazing rate with incredible power. I would love to see if it could drag orgasms out of me like a Sybian and make me squirt like the Motorbunny did.

This style of sex machine is amazing and they put wand style vibrators to shame with their unbridled power.

I'm not sure if the machine or me yelling "Yeeeeha!" would be louder while riding it.


If you feel like donating to my sex machine fund or like my site then please consider sending some Bitcoin or buying me a coffee.

Feel free to make a donation to buy me a coffee of help me save up enough to buy my next machine.
My Bitcoin Address: 1M5JMQi8Bsh1o3h8aHCfqbo1wJqoSgjEyj

The Shockspot Is The Rolls Royce Of Fucking Machines

When you ask someone to name their dream car you will often hear names like Ferarri, Porsche and Lambourghini and these cars are at the top of the pyramid and quite rightly so. When it comes to Fucking Machines there are only a couple of contenders for the position of the best one and the Shockspot is definitely a contender for the title. I have been saving for a very long time to be able to get my hands on one of these and have been using it now for just over a month and so I feel that I know it well enough by now to give it a thorough reviewing.

The Shockspot is a sex machine designed and manufactured to order in the USA. I got mine through the lovely people over at www.fmachinefun.co.uk, this is the third machine that I have reviewed from them.

The thing is that this machine is so good you can give yourself a quickie on it or you can really take your time and enjoy a long slow sensuous fuck.

The Shockspot has a pretty good reputation and I certainly put it to the test so how did it perform....

Universal Stainless Steel Fucking Machine Adaptor

One of the biggest problems with having fun with Fucking Machines is the limited number of dildos that you can attach to them. Most fucking machines come with a Vac-u-lock adaptor which is great for quick dildo swaps but it ties you down to just a small range of dildos. I wanted to be able to use pretty much any dildo with my machines and so after looking round for solutions to this problem I found this one at www.fmachinefun.co.uk

One of my favourite uses of this adaptor is to use it to mount my Bad Dragon Flint dildo which allows me to fuck myself with it hard and fast to an amazing orgasm.

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