Joanne's Sex Machine and Sex Toy Reviews

Welcome to my siteWelcome to my site, I hope that you enjoy my reviews and articles. I have a fascination with sex toys and in particular sex and fucking machines, e-stim and BDSM.

I have a lot of fun doing what I do and I hope it shows in my reviews and articles.

I love hearing from my readers so please don't be shy, post a comment or get in touch.

Joanne xxx

Displaying items by tag: Rechargeable

MEOBOND Electronic Time Lock For Bondage and Chastity Belts Review

The utimate padlock for BDSM play

I just love the kinky things that are stocked by, and when I received one of their newsletters at the beginning of January, I was intrigued by their bondage self-timer padlock. So intrigued that I immediately bought one so that I could review it. I just had to see how much fun I could have with one.

I must admit that the feeling of being locked with the padlock was intoxicating and unlike just clipping some restraints together. I knew that I was stuck and that is a turn on.


I have long wondered about trying some self-bondage, and this seemed to be the perfect item to give it a go.

Having given it a thorough testing, I can categorically say one thing, and that is that it isn't just for self-bondage. You can have so much fun with a partner playing with it, and in fact, I recommend that you do so.

Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration Clitoral Vibe Review

They say that you can't improve on perfection, well they have

I can still remember the feeling of shock when I first tried a Satisfyer sex toy for the first time (Satisfyer Pro), and it made me cum in under thirty seconds from cold. Something like that stays with you, and ever since then, I have been enjoying the Satisfyer range of sex toys.

Their air wave technology feels like your clitoris is being gently sucked and it feels incredible. When I learned that they had brought out a new take on this method of masturbation my curiosity was piqued.

I like the quick orgasms that this type of sex toy delivers as they just seem to spring up from nowhere and bash you over the head in a surprise attack. I also find that the orgasms tend to roll on and on even after switching the unit off.


Their latest model combines the delightful clitoris sucking tech with good old-fashioned vibrations, and that was something I had to experience. Satisfyer were delightful, and they sent me a Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration for free to review in exchange for an honest evaluation of it.

I deliberately didn't read any reviews on this sex toy as I wanted to be as unbiased as I possibly could before trying it out for myself and I could hardly contain my excitement when it arrived. I hoped the orgasms from it would be as memorable as my first ones with Satisfyers products - talk about high expectations.

Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples Vibrator Review

It gives Penis in Vagina sex a whole new twist

It seems like Satisfyer just keeps creating new sex toys to keep me on my toes and they asked if I would be interested in reviewing a couples sex toy called the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples. I loved the concept of a couples vibrator that also uses their airwave technology, and so I jumped at the chance.

This is one of their latest batch of sex toys that they sent me to review in exchange for a fair and honest review.

I am not sure if it is just in my mind, but I feel that with it inside me the sensations against my g-spot are increased. That may just be the effect the vibrations have on me internally coupled with the 'tightening' effect.


So I think I should say a quick word about "how" this is a couples sex toy. Unlike the Pulse III Duo that I reviewed this couples toy has an insertable vibrating element coupled with an external clitoral suction wave stimulator. In that regards, I can't really compare the two toys, and I was looking forward to giving this one a thorough testing.

My Stunt Cock obviously relished the chance to test a couples toy with me (I did not doubt that he would to be honest). So how did we get on and what are my thoughts on it?

Satisfyer Pro G-spot Rabbit Vibrator Review

Intense G-Spot fun with clitoral suction action too

I have had some amazing orgasms with Satisfyer products in the past, and I was delighted when they got in touch asking me if I could review three new sex toys for them.

Never one to step away from an orgasmic challenge and as I have enjoyed their products in the past I jumped at the chance. I was sent the Satisfyer Pro G-spot Rabbit Vibrator for free in exchange for a fair and honest review.

This may not be a toy that you get the most out of straight out of the box but do stick with it.


I could hardly contain my excitement then the new products arrived, and this was the first one that caught my attention.

I love rabbit vibes but for me, they can be a bit hit and miss due to my body shape, and I hoped that this one would be a hit for me. So read on to find out if the combination of g-spot stimulation and having my clit stimulated with their air pulse technology worked for me or not.

Hot Octopuss Pocket Pulse Remote Review

Proving that good things come in small packages

Hi, Stunt Cock here and Joanne has dragged me in again to write another male orientated sex toy review for her as let's face it she lacks something in the trouser department for the job. We were sent this new guybrator by Hot Octopuss, and I have to admit to almost doing backflips when I found out that this was one the way.

You see, the Pulse III Duo is one of my all-time favourite sex toys. The sensation that it delivers to my happy chap is incredible, and it never fails to bring me off quickly and very enjoyably.

I have the Pocket Pulse Remote version, and it comes with a remote that can be used by yourself or by your partner for some teasing fun. Teasing can be lots of fun and Joanne has a habit of pinching the remote and edging me by turning down the power just as I am about to come.

Stunt Cock

I was keen then to see how the Pocket Pulse would perform as the Pulse III Duo is fantastic.

I can honestly say that I have enjoyed doing the 'background work' for this review so without further ado, here are my thoughts on the Pocket Pulse Remote.

Meo Alpha Male Leten Wand Massager

This is a wand style vibrator that isn't just for external use

I had a lot of fun reviewing the Alpha Male Leten Wand Massager from which surprised me as it is a small, unobtrusive looking wand style vibrator, but it packs quite a punch.

I was sent this wand massager by in exchange for a fair and honest review, and I have taken my time to get to know it, and I am glad that I have as it has a feature not found on most wands due to its small form.

Pressing it against my clit feels fantastic, the sensations are a little buzzy but they do go deep, and it feels nice. However, when I am close, I enjoy sliding the egg end inside so that all of that power is directed right onto my G-spot and that always delivers some incredibly hard orgasms for me.


This is a wand that is not only great for external stimulation but it is also small enough for you to experiment with it internally and that gives it an excellent edge for some kinky play options.

It has two motors, and I will talk about that later in the review.

Sistalk Mister Devil Kegel Trainer Review

Devilish good fun with this kegel trainer

I have reviewed a couple of kegel trainers in the past, and so I was delighted when Sistalk got in touch asking if I wanted to review one of their new range of kegel trainers.

They have produced three 'Monster' themes trainers, and they just look so cute. You can choose from the Mister Godzilla, Mister Devil and Doctor Whale. Each is subtly different. I couldn't help myself and had to ask for the Mr Devil to review.

The trainer itself is a cute looking thing and can be used without its app as a vibrator. It's coated with very soft silicone, and this makes it body safe, phthalate free and hypo-allergenic.


Kegel trainers are great sex toys because not only are they good fun to use they also have serious medical benefits helping to tone your muscles and deal with numerous lady issues.

I have now used this trainer for four month so how did I get on with this cute looking kegel trainer? Have I now got a vagina that Wonder Woman would be proud of or did the Mr Devil let me down? Read on to find out.

Lelo Sona Cruise Clitoral Massager Review

A clitoral massager that reaches the parts others don't

With the current rate of new clitoral suction style sex toys coming on to the market I wondered about the logic of Lelo bringing out their unique take on this style of toy.

However, having tried it I can attest that it is a welcome addition to the range available, it is in fact pretty damn impressive, and that surprised me - a lot.

I find that when playing with it, the stimulations get you so involved you enjoy the journey as well as the destination. It isn't a toy where you just go through the motions, it sucks you in and gives you a fantastic ride.


Lelo sent me one of their Lelo Sona Cruise sex toys in exchange for a fair an honest appraisal, and this is one of those sex toys that did surprise me.

So without further ado, here are my thoughts on the Lelo Sona Cruise.

Queen Bee Review From Hot Octopuss

This absolute gem of a vibrator is like Marmite, you'll love it or hate it

This year has seen many new sex toys enter the marketplace, some touted as new concepts or ideas. Some fell on their faces whilst others have thrived. The Queen Bee is one of those new and radical designs of sex toy.

The Queen Bee has a unique approach to masturbation and stimulation, it's a huge leap of faith for its manufacturer Hot Octopuss. Note to self: I really, really love that name.

The pulsing sensations felt incredible on my clitoris and they are hard to describe. It sort of feels like a finger tapping your clit very, very fast and it blew me away.


Earlier in the year, I was lucky enough to review their Pulse III Duo and I was fascinated by the pulse plate technology. I have never wanted a penis between my legs so much in my life. Stop giggling, you know what I mean. I wanted to feel that pulse plate on my genitals so much.

Well, Hot Octopus listened and that same sex-tech is placed into the Queen Bee. A sex toy that I suppose you could call a wand even though it carries more of a resemblance to a hairless brush.

Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation - Comparison

Another Toy That Really Sucks - But In a Very Good Way

The market place is now pretty swamped with suction based clitoral stimulators and one of the first brands to produce them is Satisfyer and I've reviewed a number of their clitoral stimulators on my site.

Out of all of them I liked the cheapest one the Satisfyer 2 the most and that surprised me. My second favourite was definitely the original Satisfyer Pro 2 and whilst it out performed the cheaper one it lacked the controls that I wanted to effectively edge myself and it was a bit of a let down in that regard.

Fast forward to now and Satisfyer appear to have listened to the criticism aimed and the Satisfyer Pro 2 and they have brought out an updated version - the Gen 2. I was delighted when they sent me one to review as it meant that I could do a direct comparison between the two models. Alas though that was not to be, as my Satusfyer Pro 2 gave up the ghost just before its replacement arrived. Whilst it meant I could still enjoy the new model it also meant that direct performance comparisons wouldn't be possible unfortunately.

The nozzle is larger than on the original and this for me makes it an even better fit for my bits and it will mean that it's now more suited to a wider audience (no pun intended)


So it means that I have to review the Gen 2 model on its own but I can point out some improvements over the previous model and compare them physically to each other, so on with the review.

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