search

Policies - Joanne's Sex Machine Reviews | 2015

Dildo Review: Adam Silicone Dildo from Godemiche

ADAM-bi Pearlescent Handmade Dildo

I have heard a lot of very good things about new kids on the block, Godemiche and decided that I had to get one of their hand made silicone dildos in to review. I placed an order for an ADAM-Bi Pearlescent and also a special edition Qube to give away in my 1st Year Blogiversary Competition. I was delighted that when they heard about my competition they added an extra, special edition dildo to the order free of charge together with some other products for me to review - how nice of them is that?

Niceness aside though that won't affect the outcome of this review as every toy that I test stands or falls on its own merit. I have heard some very good things about the Adam dildo but can it really be all that it's made out to be? Well read on to find out what I thought of it.

"ADAM felt great by hand but on a Fucking Machine it takes orgasmic delights to a whole new level. After my first session with him on the Shockspot I lost count of my orgasms and afterwards (once I regained the ability to use my legs) I felt like raising him over my head like a trophy and doing a victory lap of the bedroom."

Dildo Review: Nova The Breeder from Bad Dragon

Nova The Breeder - Creampie Dildo Fun

I received a Bad Dragon Nova the Breeder dildo for Christmas from my hubby as he knows just how much I love the Bad Dragon range and how turned on I get with ejaculating dildos.

This is my fourth dildo from Bad Dragon and I am starting to build up a nice little collections of them. Now as a girl, like most young girls I had fantasies about knights in shining armour and dragons. As I got older my fantasies got a bit naughtier than most and often had me chained or tied up by the dragon which would then have its wicked way with me. When I found the Bad Dragon range of fantasy silicone dildos I was over the moon as I could live out my dragon fantasies.

I emptied the syringe full of cumlube into my pussy as I started to orgasm and this added to the experience sending me into a shuddering orgasm. You can't beat being fucked relentlessly by a machine and then receiving a sticky creampie at the end.

So if you really want to find out what I think of Nova The Breeder then read on for an insight into how I like to use my dildos.

Sex and Fucking Machine Wishlist

As you will probably be aware, I have a thing for sex and fucking machines and love playing with them. Either using them on someone, playing on my own with them or being teased with them by someone else. I would love to be able to review more to give you all the benefit of an honest and detailed review but they cost a lot of money so in real terms sex machine reviews will be few and far between.

I am constantly saving up for new toys and fucking machines and when I have enough I will be working my way through this list of delights. If you fancy chipping in to help me buy one then I will be forever in your debt, just get in touch with me to help me review these incredible products.

If you are a retailer or manufacturer and want me to do a review of them then please do get in touch I would love to be able to review something for you. Well without further ado, here is a wishlist of the machines that I would love to be able to experience and review for you all.....


Love Rider - Funky Rocker Clone

Loverider Monkey RockerAvailable from: sexmachines.co.uk
Price: £190.80

It sounds like a great concept, you use your own muscles and body movements to literally fuck yourself as hard and as fast as you want.

You sit on the Love Rider and thrust yourself forward and backwards, the linkage on it then translates that movement into the up and down thrusts of a dildo mounted on it.

With a maximum stroke length of eight inches I can't wait to be able to ride it to some great orgasms. Whilst enjoying the exercise.


Blue Balls XL Fucking Machine

Blue Balls XL Fucking MachineAvailable from: sexmachines.co.uk
Price: £238.80

This is a more traditional fucking machine and I like the fact that you can position it to use it whilst standing up. It offers a lot of potential for BDSM games and subbie fun.

It can deliver upto 300 thrusts per minute which should keep me happy and you can use vac-u-lock dildos on it as well as a male masturbator.

With a maximum stroke length of six inches I wont be complaining at all. Oh and the speed controller is also a vibrator so I get to enjoy some clitty fun with it as well.


Feel free to make a donation to buy me a coffee of help me save up enough to buy my next machine.
My Bitcoin Address: 1M5JMQi8Bsh1o3h8aHCfqbo1wJqoSgjEyj

Vasu The Naga from Bad Dragon

Vasu Reaches The Parts Other Dildos Can't Reach

I was asked by Bad Dragon if I could review one of their dildos for them and you guessed it I didn't have to think about it very much as they are one of my all time favourite sex toy manufacturers. If you are not familiar with their fantasy range of dildos and masturbators you really do need to get yourself over to their end of the internet and check out their wares.

They sent me the Vasu The Naga silicone dildo in exchange for an honest and informative review, this review doesn't contain any affiliate links. I am passionate about Bad Dragon sex toys, in my experience so far they have been of exceptional quality and very enjoyable, will the Vasu live up to its forebears high standards? Read on to find out...

I really got turned on though when I pressed the plunger on the syringe a bit and made the toy fill my pussy with cumlube. Everything suddenly got wetter and sloppier and this sent me over the edge into a great orgasm.

Shockspot 12 Inch Fucking Machine

Shockspot 12 Inch Fucking Machine

When you ask someone to name their dream car you will often hear names like Ferarri, Porsche and Lambourghini and these cars are at the top of the pyramid and quite rightly so. When it comes to Fucking Machines there are only a couple of contenders for the position of the best one and the Shockspot is definitely a contender for the title. I have been saving for a very long time to be able to get my hands on one of these and have been using it now for just over a month and so I feel that I know it well enough by now to give it a thorough reviewing.

The Shockspot is a sex machine designed and manufactured to order in the USA. I got mine through the lovely people over at www.fmachinefun.co.uk, this is the third machine that I have reviewed from them.

The thing is that this machine is so good you can give yourself a quickie on it or you can really take your time and enjoy a long slow sensuous fuck.

The Shockspot has a pretty good reputation and I certainly put it to the test so how did it perform....

Reviews In The Pipeline

I'm such a lucky lass. I have a lot of toys in my collection that I will be reviewing for you all and just can't help myself from constantly buying new ones to add to it. So I very much doubt that this list will be getting any smaller. But here is what is coming up (in no set order):

Universal Fucking Machine Dildo Adaptor

Universal Stainless Steel Fucking Machine Adaptor

One of the biggest problems with having fun with Fucking Machines is the limited number of dildos that you can attach to them. Most fucking machines come with a Vac-u-lock adaptor which is great for quick dildo swaps but it ties you down to just a small range of dildos. I wanted to be able to use pretty much any dildo with my machines and so after looking round for solutions to this problem I found this one at www.fmachinefun.co.uk

One of my favourite uses of this adaptor is to use it to mount my Bad Dragon Flint dildo which allows me to fuck myself with it hard and fast to an amazing orgasm.

Beginners Guide To Sex Machines

Thinking About Buying A Sex Or Fucking Machine?

As with anything else, it always pays to do your research when planning a major purchase. Hopefully this guide will give you a few pointers to check up on before you part with your cash. Sex and Fucking Machines are expensive pieces of equipment and as with any type of product out there the marketplace is filled with everything from junk to amazing bargains. I should know as I have tried the best and the worst.

The aim of this article is to describe the different types of sex machines out there and what to look at when considering buying one. With some luck it will help you avoid buying a lemon and mean that you get more fun and enjoyment out of your new bedroom accessory.

"Buying a Sex Machine is a huge commitment, there is a lot of choice available and it definitely pays to do your homework and find out what really makes the machine that you are interested in better than the rest."

Joanne

Bad Dragons Flint the Uncut Studded Dragon

Sticky Creampie Action With This Amazing Ejaculating Dildo

I am a passionate fan of Bad-Dragon and their quirky, kinky and simply stunning fantasy dildos and masturbators. I was hooked the moment I first saw and tried my Elden The Faerie Dragon Dildo and have just added Flint The Uncut Studded Dragon Dildo to my collection. This is the first toy that I have that has a cumtube fitted and this allows for glorious creampie fun.

Just filling it with cumlube and priming it for use really gets my juices flowing and when you squeeze the dildo you can watch the cum run out of it, simply rub it all over the dildos shaft and you are ready to go.

I ordered a Medium and it is huge, I wished that I had paid more attention to the size chart as I can only get half of this dildo inside my pussy. I would love to be able to take it all - then again I love a good challenge so I'll see what I can do with some practice.

As usual Bad Dragon surpass themselves, in terms of both attention to detail and customer service. This dildo is a work of art, I just wish I could get away with giving it pride of place in the middle of my mantlepiece but alas, I think that course of action may raise just too many questions when I have guests.

Bad Dragons Cum Lube

Bad Dragons Famous (or is it Infamous) Cum Lube Jizz Substitute

Bad Dragon have an option on their dildos to have a CumTube fitted and this allows for some pretty intense Creampie fun and games as your dildo can actually be made to ejaculate inside you when you are ready for it. I personally love the feeling of a cock or dildo unloading deep inside me as I push myself over the edge into a powerful orgasm almost as much as I enjoy the sticky wet feeling as a cock or toy is withdrawn from me and it all trickles back out.

Cum Lube is a waterbased lubricant that looks and feels just like the real sticky stuff and it is a lot of fun to play with. It even has a slight salty taste to it (I'd best not get into how I know that LOL).

I was a total mess when I pulled the dildo out and it seemed to not stop running out of me. I ended up rubbing it into my clit and scooping it up and rubbing it into my breasts and nipples until I came again.

If you order a Bad Dragon dildo with a cum tube you get a 250ml bottle of Cum Lube along with a sealed syringe (no sharp needle though thankfully) and the syringe fits the cum tube perfectly. You simply put as much of the Cum Lube into the syringe that you want and then attach the cum tube.

Latest Reviews

November 16, 2017

ElectraStim Silicone Noir Rocker Butt Plug Review

in E-Stim
A silcicone butt plug with a shocking twist I was delighted when the lovely Cara Sutra sent me this silicone e-stim butt plug to review for Bondara. It ticked all of my boxes, these being fun butt sex and of course e-stim action. I was sent the Electrastim… Read More
November 13, 2017

Oscuro Barbed Wire & Suede Leather Flogger Review

in BDSM Kit Reviews
This is a visually stunning flogger to both intimidate and delight One of the staple pieces of BDSM equipment in any kinksters toybox is a good flogger and I've now reviewed a few of them. This one though definitely stands out from the crowd though. I have no… Read More
Nov 09, 2017

BDSM Gas Mask - Breath Control from Meo.de

in BDSM Kit Reviews
"Take my breath away" - with a gas mask for kinky fun and games Gas Masks are one of… Read More

Recent Articles

November 11, 2017 168

The Sybian Riders Guide

Getting the most bang for your buck with a Sybian The Sybian is a legend in its own right, for 30 years it has been providing hard orgasms to women all around the world. It's without a doubt the most powerful vibrator that I have ever had the privilege of… Read More
November 02, 2017 105

A Guide To Nipple Play

I love nipple play, it is the gender free sex organ made for loving Well, they're made for loving and nurturing actually. The most amazingly fantastic thing about nipples is that we all have them. They are also definitely under stimulated in lots of us. I am… Read More
Sep 25, 2017 363

10 Tips For Great Sex

Sex should be pleasurable but can it be even more pleasurable? As you are reading this I… Read More

Latest Blog Posts

November 17, 2017

Black Friday And Cyber Monday SexToy Sales

in Blog
You can save big time in these sextoy sales Looking for a bargain, who isn't? These Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales have to be seen to be believed. Get yourself ready for a very kinky Christmas by grabbing a bargain for yourself or that special friend who… Read More
November 15, 2017

Custom Artwork - Boxer Dog

in Blog
I don't often get asked to do pics for people so I enjoyed doing this one I was asked on Twitter if I did custom art commissions and I declined, saying that I'm not good enough to be able to charge for my work. Someone wanted a colourful picture that they… Read More
Nov 05, 2017

Sex, Censorship, Nazis and Social Media

in Blog
What the hell is going on with social media For anyone who is unaware, recently most… Read More
Sex Blog Directory

Sex Blog Toplist