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ADAM-bi Pearlescent Handmade Dildo

I have heard a lot of very good things about new kids on the block, Godemiche and decided that I had to get one of their hand made silicone dildos in to review. I placed an order for an ADAM-Bi Pearlescent and also a special edition Qube to give away in my 1st Year Blogiversary Competition. I was delighted that when they heard about my competition they added an extra, special edition dildo to the order free of charge together with some other products for me to review - how nice of them is that?

Niceness aside though that won't affect the outcome of this review as every toy that I test stands or falls on its own merit. I have heard some very good things about the Adam dildo but can it really be all that it's made out to be? Well read on to find out what I thought of it.

"ADAM felt great by hand but on a Fucking Machine it takes orgasmic delights to a whole new level. After my first session with him on the Shockspot I lost count of my orgasms and afterwards (once I regained the ability to use my legs) I felt like raising him over my head like a trophy and doing a victory lap of the bedroom."

Nova The Breeder - Creampie Dildo Fun

I received a Bad Dragon Nova the Breeder dildo for Christmas from my hubby as he knows just how much I love the Bad Dragon range and how turned on I get with ejaculating dildos.

This is my fourth dildo from Bad Dragon and I am starting to build up a nice little collections of them. Now as a girl, like most young girls I had fantasies about knights in shining armour and dragons. As I got older my fantasies got a bit naughtier than most and often had me chained or tied up by the dragon which would then have its wicked way with me. When I found the Bad Dragon range of fantasy silicone dildos I was over the moon as I could live out my dragon fantasies.

I emptied the syringe full of cumlube into my pussy as I started to orgasm and this added to the experience sending me into a shuddering orgasm. You can't beat being fucked relentlessly by a machine and then receiving a sticky creampie at the end.

So if you really want to find out what I think of Nova The Breeder then read on for an insight into how I like to use my dildos.

Saturday, 14 November 2015 19:14

Sex and Fucking Machine Wishlist

As you will probably be aware, I have a thing for sex and fucking machines and love playing with them. Either using them on someone, playing on my own with them or being teased with them by someone else. I would love to be able to review more to give you all the benefit of an honest and detailed review but they cost a lot of money so in real terms sex machine reviews will be few and far between.

I am constantly saving up for new toys and fucking machines and when I have enough I will be working my way through this list of delights. If you fancy chipping in to help me buy one then I will be forever in your debt, just get in touch with me to help me review these incredible products.

If you are a retailer or manufacturer and want me to do a review of them then please do get in touch I would love to be able to review something for you. Well without further ado, here is a wishlist of the machines that I would love to be able to experience and review for you all.....


Love Rider - Funky Rocker Clone

Loverider Monkey RockerAvailable from: sexmachines.co.uk
Price: £190.80

It sounds like a great concept, you use your own muscles and body movements to literally fuck yourself as hard and as fast as you want.

You sit on the Love Rider and thrust yourself forward and backwards, the linkage on it then translates that movement into the up and down thrusts of a dildo mounted on it.

With a maximum stroke length of eight inches I can't wait to be able to ride it to some great orgasms. Whilst enjoying the exercise.


Blue Balls XL Fucking Machine

Blue Balls XL Fucking MachineAvailable from: sexmachines.co.uk
Price: £238.80

This is a more traditional fucking machine and I like the fact that you can position it to use it whilst standing up. It offers a lot of potential for BDSM games and subbie fun.

It can deliver upto 300 thrusts per minute which should keep me happy and you can use vac-u-lock dildos on it as well as a male masturbator.

With a maximum stroke length of six inches I wont be complaining at all. Oh and the speed controller is also a vibrator so I get to enjoy some clitty fun with it as well.


Feel free to make a donation to buy me a coffee of help me save up enough to buy my next machine.
My Bitcoin Address: 13wXGFARGiktQX83Tomn7geMeXnSgd3PYn

Wednesday, 11 November 2015 10:17

Vasu The Naga from Bad Dragon

Vasu Reaches The Parts Other Dildos Can't Reach

I was asked by Bad Dragon if I could review one of their dildos for them and you guessed it I didn't have to think about it very much as they are one of my all time favourite sex toy manufacturers. If you are not familiar with their fantasy range of dildos and masturbators you really do need to get yourself over to their end of the internet and check out their wares.

They sent me the Vasu The Naga silicone dildo in exchange for an honest and informative review, this review doesn't contain any affiliate links. I am passionate about Bad Dragon sex toys, in my experience so far they have been of exceptional quality and very enjoyable, will the Vasu live up to its forebears high standards? Read on to find out...

I really got turned on though when I pressed the plunger on the syringe a bit and made the toy fill my pussy with cumlube. Everything suddenly got wetter and sloppier and this sent me over the edge into a great orgasm.

Friday, 25 September 2015 21:41

Shockspot 12 Inch Fucking Machine

Shockspot 12 Inch Fucking Machine

When you ask someone to name their dream car you will often hear names like Ferarri, Porsche and Lambourghini and these cars are at the top of the pyramid and quite rightly so. When it comes to Fucking Machines there are only a couple of contenders for the position of the best one and the Shockspot is definitely a contender for the title. I have been saving for a very long time to be able to get my hands on one of these and have been using it now for just over a month and so I feel that I know it well enough by now to give it a thorough reviewing.

The Shockspot is a sex machine designed and manufactured to order in the USA. I got mine through the lovely people over at www.fmachinefun.co.uk, this is the third machine that I have reviewed from them.

The thing is that this machine is so good you can give yourself a quickie on it or you can really take your time and enjoy a long slow sensuous fuck.

The Shockspot has a pretty good reputation and I certainly put it to the test so how did it perform....

Tuesday, 08 September 2015 11:54

Universal Fucking Machine Dildo Adaptor

Universal Stainless Steel Fucking Machine Adaptor

One of the biggest problems with having fun with Fucking Machines is the limited number of dildos that you can attach to them. Most fucking machines come with a Vac-u-lock adaptor which is great for quick dildo swaps but it ties you down to just a small range of dildos. I wanted to be able to use pretty much any dildo with my machines and so after looking round for solutions to this problem I found this one at www.fmachinefun.co.uk

One of my favourite uses of this adaptor is to use it to mount my Bad Dragon Flint dildo which allows me to fuck myself with it hard and fast to an amazing orgasm.

Tuesday, 04 August 2015 13:59

Beginners Guide To Sex Machines

Thinking About Buying A Sex Or Fucking Machine?

As with anything else, it always pays to do your research when planning a major purchase. Hopefully this guide will give you a few pointers to check up on before you part with your cash. Sex and Fucking Machines are expensive pieces of equipment and as with any type of product out there the marketplace is filled with everything from junk to amazing bargains.

The aim of this article is to describe the different types of sex machines out there and what to look at when considering buying one. With some luck it will help you avoid buying a lemon and mean that you get more fun and enjoyment out of your new bedroom accessory.

"Buying a Sex Machine is a huge commitment, there is a lot of choice available and it definitely pays to do your homework and find out what really makes the machine that you are interested better than the rest."

To start off then I will cover the basic types of sex machines available:

  • Fucking Machines
  • Sybian - this machine deserves its own section
  • Monkey Rockers
  • Power Tool Sex Machines
  • Home Made Sex Machines
  • Electro Stimulation Machines

These are the most common types of sex machines available and prices vary from about £100 to over £2000 for a top of the range unit.

One consideration you should think about is the materials used in any penetrating attachment. Check out my Sex Toy Material Guide for some great advice on material selection and more importantly, what to avoid.

The following sections of the article are based on my own experiences and are my opinion on the matter, you will decide whether or not it is good advice and I would love to hear about your experiences or thoughts about these types of machines.

Fucking Machines

I absolutely adore fucking machines and can spend hours just enjoying the feeling of being pleasured by something that won't tire out and will just keep on going until I'm the one worn out. A fucking machine is one that penetrates you either vaginally or anally and simulates intercourse by thrusting a dildo in and out at a speed which you can control.

Most machines use a flywheel to translate rotational movement from a motor into linear movement of a thrust rod to which a dildo is then attached. By altering the radius of the linkage arm on the flywheel different depths of thrust can be set up and the speed can be easily controlled to control the pace. Thrusting of upto four thrusts a second are not uncommon on faster settings.

Machines such as my F-Machine Pro and my Maestro use this principle to good effect. The biggest factor in how powerful these machines are is the torque output of the motors used. It takes a surprising amount of force to drive a dildo in and out of an orifice especially if that orifice is in mid orgasm and contracting like crazy. It is definitely worth buying a machine with a strong motor as you will regret getting one with a weak one. To give you an example, I can't stop the F-Machine Pro by clamping down on the dildo with my PC muscles but I can stall the Maestro if I do the same and that is purely due to the torque difference in the motors used.

The F-Machine Pro is a great entry machine but I have heard stories or people using it anally who have been able to stall a machine due to anal penetration requiring more force than vaginal penetration.

So lots of Torque is good in a fucking machine but it does have one drawback. A very powerful motor is great but if your machine is light and you are using it with a large toy you can actually cause the machine to move back and forth instead of the dildo. This is due to the torque over coming the resistance it comes across by moving the machine as opposed to the dildo. Some people clamp their machine down to prevent this, I simply place my feet on the feet of the machine and have found this to be an excellent way of overcoming this problem.

Some of the more expensive machines on the market such as the Shockspot and Tango use linear motors, these have no flywheel meaning that the machine can be more streamlined and smaller.

A quick note on some of the cheap machine gun type sex machines. They are much cheaper than a regular fucking machine but lack power and break relatively easily so only go for one of them if you cannot afford something better.

The Sybian

This machine is a legend in its own right and is an internet star, appearing on live shows like the Howard Stern show. It is basically a ride on vibrator, whilst that sounds a bit dull, believe me the Sybian is anything but dull, it is a raging power house that is designed to be able to rip orgasms out of you. It is quite simply the most powerful vibrator that I have ever used and features some neat tricks up its sleeve.

The Sybian is one hell of a ride

An attachment is placed on top of the Sybian and there are numerous ones available that offer the choice of penetration or non penetrative fun. A number of different sized sleeves are also available to alter the girth of the attachments to suit everyones tastes.

You straddle the Sybian and insert the attachment into your vagina, your clitoris rests against a nubbed portion of the attachment and these nubbs are designed to transmit the vibrations directly to your clit.

The machine just has two controls on a corded remote and these are rotation and vibration, each function has its own on/off switch. The rotation feature makes the attachment move around inside of you applying pressure to your g-spot whilst the vibration control alters the speed of the vibrations from amazing to OMG.

I can highly recommend the Sybian and using one actually caused me to squirt for the first time in my life, try one you will not be disappointed.

The Sybian is a very expensive piece of equipment but luckily there are a number of companies that rent them out so you can try one before buying one. I have used the services of www.fmachinefun.co.uk to try out the Sybian, they provide a new attachment that you get to keep at the end of a booking. Whichever company you use if you go down the rental route make sure that you insist on a new attachment and not something that has been "cleaned". Renting is a great way to experience the Sybian without the huge outlay of money.

The only drawback with the Sybian is with the noise it makes, it is loud, really loud. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone living in a flat or with parents as there is no way that no-one is going to notice it in operation.

Monkey Rocker

A monkey rocker is a human powered fucking machine where you sit on a seat that has a dildo attached to it. You rock the seat back and forth and this moves the dildo up and down allowing you to control the speed of thrusting.

A great way to get fit whilst you enjoy yourself

These machines are almost totally silent with the only drawback being that your thighs can soon tire, that said its a great way to have fun whilst working out.

Power Tool Sex Machines

I mention these machines just to satisfy your curiosity, I would never recommend that anyone tries using them as power tools are designed for anything other than sex and so safety is a big concern with these.

I am talking about the Drill-do and Fuck-saw here, you can buy adaptors to fit on a drill or reciprocating saw to allow you to fit a dildo onto them. Yes you heard that right a dildo on a powertool.

Don't try this at home without thinking it through properly

The biggest risk with these machines is through electrocution and friction, the human body is not designed to have things moving inside it with the speeds that these machines are capable of doing. That said though, if they do tickle your fancy, please use lots and lots of lube as you are going to need it.

Use a proper adaptor to mount a dildo, don't just stick a dildo on the end of a saw blade as anyone with a modicum of common sense can see what is going to happen if you use it and serious injury of god forbid death could result from doing so. Use at your own risk.

Home Made Sex Machines

Lots of people make their own sex machines and there are plans available on the net to build basic machines and a monkey rocker clone. If you do make one yourself get someone qualified to do the electrics and think about waterproofing them as body fluids do transmit electricity. Think safety first with every step of the build.

It is relatively cheap to make a sex machine

A lot of people use car windscreen motors for their builds, one bonus with doing so is that it will be a 12V system which is safer and you can get a lot of torque out of a windscreen motor but the top speed will probably be restricted to about 120RPM.

Whilst building a sex machine might appear to be a cheap option when you consider the safety implications of something going wrong it would probably be best to buy a machine designed as a sex toy rather than to cobble one together yourself unless you are very technically and safety minded.

Electro Stimulation Machines

In a nutshell, E-Stim or electro stimulation, (also known as 'estim', 'electroplay' or 'electrosex'), is the use of electricity to provide extremely pleasurable sensations in your body. The strength of these sensations can be varied to produce unique experiences, e-stim is great for play on your own but it's even better with a partner as you can surrender yourself to them and let them tease you to orgasm.

The e-stim kit is an amazing entry level kit for a female

A lot of e-stim units available are based on TENS units, these are pain relief machines that function in the same way as an e-stim however they lack the power and range of features of a true e-stim.

E-stim systems work by passing a current through a set of electrodes. These electrodes can either be monopole (such as the adhesive sticky pads available for tens units) or bipolar (such as the Veriprobe or Flange electrodes). If you are using monopole electrodes then you need two of them to form a circuit using the skin between the pads. Monopole electrodes have a cable going to each electrode. Bi-polar electrodes have both cables going to one unit that has two separate electrodes on it, as with the veriprobe when it is inserted into your pussy or ass your tissue makes the circuit between the two electrodes.

E-stim units can provide a multitude of sensations from the fluttering of butterfly wings against your skin to full blown muscle cramps and everything in between. I'd highly recommend that beginners start with something like the Intro2Electro kit from www.e-stim.co.uk

Check out some of my reviews of e-stim sex toys HERE.

Why Not Try Before You Buy

ian over at fmachinefun.co.uk runs a great sex machine rental serviceAs sex machines are such expensive pieces of kit, especially when you consider the more advanced and capable ones it makes sense to think about trying one before parting with your hard earned cash. That is where the service provided by Ian over at www.fmachinefun.co.uk is so good. You can rent either a Sybian, an F-Machine Pro 2 or a Venus Male Masturbator from him to see if they work for you before settling on buying one. If you then go on to buy one from there they will give you half of what you paid in the rental fee as a discount which is great. They send out new dildos or attachments with every booking and you get to keep those at the end of the booking as for obvious reasons they don't recylce penetrables. I have used their service on a number of occasions an can heartily recommend them. Check out www.fmachinefun.co.uk


I hope you found this article interesting and useful, basically take your time when selecting the right machine for you, do your homework and consider renting a machine before buying one to see if it is for you. Thanks for reading this, I'd love to hear what you think about it so why not place a comment below.

Sticky Creampie Action With This Amazing Ejaculating Dildo

I am a passionate fan of Bad-Dragon and their quirky, kinky and simply stunning fantasy dildos and masturbators. I was hooked the moment I first saw and tried my Elden The Faerie Dragon Dildo and have just added Flint The Uncut Studded Dragon Dildo to my collection. This is the first toy that I have that has a cumtube fitted and this allows for glorious creampie fun.

Just filling it with cumlube and priming it for use really gets my juices flowing and when you squeeze the dildo you can watch the cum run out of it, simply rub it all over the dildos shaft and you are ready to go.

I ordered a Medium and it is huge, I wished that I had paid more attention to the size chart as I can only get half of this dildo inside my pussy. I would love to be able to take it all - then again I love a good challenge so I'll see what I can do with some practice.

As usual Bad Dragon surpass themselves, in terms of both attention to detail and customer service. This dildo is a work of art, I just wish I could get away with giving it pride of place in the middle of my mantlepiece but alas, I think that course of action may raise just too many questions when I have guests.

Saturday, 27 June 2015 13:46

Bad Dragons Cum Lube

Bad Dragons Famous (or is it Infamous) Cum Lube Jizz Substitute

Bad Dragon have an option on their dildos to have a CumTube fitted and this allows for some pretty intense Creampie fun and games as your dildo can actually be made to ejaculate inside you when you are ready for it. I personally love the feeling of a cock or dildo unloading deep inside me as I push myself over the edge into a powerful orgasm almost as much as I enjoy the sticky wet feeling as a cock or toy is withdrawn from me and it all trickles back out.

Cum Lube is a waterbased lubricant that looks and feels just like the real sticky stuff and it is a lot of fun to play with. It even has a slight salty taste to it (I'd best not get into how I know that LOL).

I was a total mess when I pulled the dildo out and it seemed to not stop running out of me. I ended up rubbing it into my clit and scooping it up and rubbing it into my breasts and nipples until I came again.

If you order a Bad Dragon dildo with a cum tube you get a 250ml bottle of Cum Lube along with a sealed syringe (no sharp needle though thankfully) and the syringe fits the cum tube perfectly. You simply put as much of the Cum Lube into the syringe that you want and then attach the cum tube.

Doc Johnson Vac-U-Lock 8 Inch Realistic Cock - Flesh Coloured

I was sent this 8 Inch Dildo by SexToys.co.uk in exchange for an honest and frank review of it. At the time of writing this review it costs just £38.95 which is about par with the price on most sites that I checked.

This is another dildo that I have used with my F-Machine Pro and it's now a firm (snigger) favourite attachment for that machine.

This Dildo has both the length, texture and looks to really get my juices flowing. It's modelled from a real cock and the detail is superb, I particularly like the well definded head that feels great as it 'pops' past your vaginal opening. The balls give something for you to hold onto and squeeze, they feel amazing banging against you if you use it on a Fucking Machine.

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