Dildo Reviews - Joanne's Sex Machine Reviews

Review Of The Seahorse Dildo From Mr Hankeys Toys

This textured beast of a dildo will really make your eyes pop

As you may already know I'm a bit of a texture queen when it comes to my dildos. I like something that is going to stimulate and challenge my vagina (or my anus) when I play. So you can imagine my delight when Mr Hankey sent me this incredible looking fantasy dildo to review.

This is the toy to get if you like your texture and prefer to actually feel a toy moving in and out of your holes. Smooth toys don't give you that intense level of stimulation. You can feel and savour every bump, ridge and indentation as you thrust it in and out.

Joanne

I could hardly contain my excitement when I opened up the package to see what I had been sent to review. This has to be the weirdest and most textured object that my Foof has ever had the pleasure of tackling. I couldn't wait to get started with my review of it.

After three weeks of tackling this behemoth I'm ready to let you all know what it feels like. Together with whether or not it's worth recommending as let's face it, this is not a normal looking dildo by any stretch of your imagination.

Reviews In The Pipeline

I'm such a lucky lass. I have a lot of toys in my collection that I will be reviewing for you all and just can't help myself from constantly buying new ones to add to it. So I very much doubt that this list will be getting any smaller. But here is what is coming up (in no set order):

CutlerX Silicone Dildo Review from Mr Hankeys Toys

This is the dildo that almost broke my pussy

Just when I thought I'd met my match when I reviewed the Anaconda from MrHankeysToys.com as it was shall we say a very nice and tight fit, I have yet again been given another challenge and that is in the form of the CutlerX silicone dildo. This mind-blowing dildo is actually a life-cast from the male pornstar CutlerX and to be honest I don't know how he stays conscious when he gets an erection as his penis is simply huge - as you will see in this review.

The trick is to warm up for it and to use lots and lots of lube replacing it as and when necessary. I know that a lot of guys will enjoy this one anally but it's just too big for me back there and so I'll just stick with having my pussy filled by CutlerX.

Joanne

This is the third dildo that I have reviewed for Mr Hankeys Toys and I have another one tucked away to review once my vagina recovers from its onslaught by CutlerX. So read on to find out how much I enjoyed this phallus and you can then decide if you are upto the challenge that is the CutlerX dildo.

GlassbyWoozy Glass Tentacle Dildo Review

A Stunning Fantasy Glass Dildo

I love glass sex toys and I also have a thing for fantasy or unusual dildos. So after reviewing the Icicles No 24 Tentacle Dildo I was delighted when I had the opportunity to review a handmade glass dildo from GlassbyWoozy an etsy retailer who produce some incredible creations. They are real artisans and their creations are works of art.

I really can't describe adequately the feeling of those suckers when they are drawn over my clit, it has my toes curling and me gasping for breath very quickly and it has delivered some cracking orgasms.

Joanne

GlassbyWoozy are based in Colorado Springs in the USA in what I can only imagine must be heaven for glass dildo enthusiasts. You only need to look their their range of incredible creations to realise that what they produce is really rather special. Follow them on Twitter for pictures and even the occasional video of them creating their kinky art.

Anaconda Silicone Dildo From Mr Hankeys Toys

The Phallic Shaped Vac-u-Lock Dildo That Will Make Your Eyes Water

After I had reviewed the Centaur Dildo from Mr Hankey's Toys I was pretty confident that I would enjoy this dildo and more importantly that it would fit inside my Foof. This is another huge dildo and it's actually the small, this dildo is designed for, well shall we just say the lover of all things "fulfilling".

It's made in the USA by proud silicone dildo creator Mr Hankey's Toys and the Anaconda is one of many amazing examples of big dildos on his site that are well worth checking out. My eyes are constantly drawn to the CutlerX - swoon. If you crave the bigger and longer dildos then this site is definitely for you, some of the designs are fantasy ones and others are incredibly realistic, this one sits between those two genres of dildo.

This is my second dildo from Mr Hankey's Toys and I am blown away by the product, some of the other dildos on his site look incredible and the CutlerX which is a life-cast dildo has definitely caught my attention and lets just say that I have a soft spot for it.

Joanne

So is this dildo with its tapered tip and squashed cross section something to rave or rage about? Read on to find out what I thought of it after spending a month getting to know it.

Centaur Silicone Dildo Review From Mr Hankeys Toys

Meet Centaur, From The Man With A Horses Cock

I have to admit that I am pretty chuffed with myself over this review. Not for its style or my writing ability but simply because I managed to get this behemoth inside my foof (pussy). It is huge and whilst this one is the small size it's still not for the feint hearted. It's made in the USA by proud silicone oficionado Mr Hankey's Toys and the Centaur dildo certainly has good company on his site.

I can quite honestly say that all of the dildos on the site are eye wateringly desirable (well maybe with the exception of the poop dildo) especially if you like to be filled to the brim with body safe silicone in whatever hole you fancy stretching and filling.

The detailing on the dildo, its head and the shaft is simply stunning with lots of gentle textures and it has a head that gives a nice pop as it enters you. It leaves you in no doubt that you are being penetrated by something large.

Joanne

I was delighted when Mr Hankey agreed to send me a small Centaur dildo together with a small Anaconda dildo (check out my review of that which will come out after my vagina recovers from this one). As you can already tell, this dildo is a force to be reckoned with and whilst it is the biggest thing that I have so far tackled, is it something that I could recommend to others. Well you will have to read on to find out the answer to this burning question.

New Pleasure Panel Review - Doc Johnson Vac-U-Lock 7 Inch Thin Dildo

A Nice Slimline Vac-u-lock Dildo

I did a quick review for the lovely Cara Sutra as part of her Pleasure Panel reviewer scheme and she was looking for someone to review two Vac-u-lock dildos for Bondara.co.uk and I of course jumped at the chance to try two new dildos on my fucking machines.

I had a lot of fun reviewing both and this is my second one, you can check it out by following the link below:

Doc Johnson Vac-U-Lock 7 Inch Thin Dildo

New Pleasure Panel Review - Doc Johnson 6" Raging Hardon Dong

Lovely Texture On This Vac-u-lock Dildo

I often get to do quick reviews for the lovely Cara Sutra as part of her Pleasure Panel reviewer scheme and she was looking for someone to review two Vac-u-lock dildos for Bondara.co.uk and I of course jumped at the chance to try two new dildos on my fucking machines.

I had a lot of fun reviewing both and this is my first one, you can check it out by following the link below:

Doc Johnson 6 Inche Raging Hardon Dong Review

Fun Factory Share XL Double Dildo 5.9 Inch Review

Hands Free Fun With This Strapless Strapon

I was delighted when Vikki from Uberkinky got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing a strapless strapon for her. Now I do enjoy a good bit of strapon fuckery but the thought of doing it without the need to wear a harness and to have it give me pleasure as I was dolling it out really piqued my interest. I immediately replied letting her know that I would love to review the Fun Factory Share XL Double Dildo.

A strapless double dildo is one with a sharp kink in it and a bulb at one end that is inserted into your vagina and held their by your kegel muscles. It means that you are hands free and don't need to wear a harness. The biggest benefit though is that movement and sensations are transferred from it to your clitoris and into your vaginal walls which feels amazing.

I had my hands free to hold my partners hips whilst I thrusted away like a she-devil.

Joanne

My Stunt Cocks eyes were like saucers when he saw the size of it and it was obvious that I wouldn't be using it for pegging so I called up my bisexual friend to see if she would like to assist in this review. It was as good an excuse as any to hook up with her again I guess, so read on to find out how we got on with it.

Demetra Wooden Dildo from Sex Wooden Toys

A Beautifull Dildo From Sex Wooden Toys

For those of you who have read some of my reviews you will know that I have a soft spot (I bet you can guess where it is) for wooden dildos. There is something so sensual about a polished and textured piece of hardwood, wooden dildos look amazing and also feel great in use. So you won't be surprised to know that when Sex Wooden Toys (SWT) approached me asking if I would like to review one of their dildos I jumped at the chance as I had been looking at their products for some time.

I was graciously allowed to pick anything from their extensive range of dildos, butt plugs and wooden vibrators and the Demetra caught my eye as I am a bit of a texture queen and it really had my mouth watering.

I was sent this dildo in exchange for a fair and honest review and I have really enjoyed getting to know it in order to be able to give an accurate account of its performance.

I love my Demetra, it is a very nice dildo with lots of texture and it will be one that I continue to use and so that shows you really what I think of it.

If you have not tried a wooden dildo before then read on to find out why you should and how much fun they can be.

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