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Dildo Reviews - Joanne's Sex Machine Reviews

Persian Palm Eva Classic Line Ceramic Dildo

Ceramic perfection from Persian Palm

This is a bit of a special review, special because once in a while you come across a product that is not only a very functional sex toy but also a work of art.

Persian Palm sent me this incredible personalised Eva Classic Line ceramic dildo for free in exchange for a fair and honest review.

There is something about having three different diameters to enjoy that has my pussy purring in satisfaction.

Joanne

I have had my eyes on their wares for a while now as they are handmade and just look so inviting and beautiful.

I was blown away by everything about this dildo, from its packaging to its performance but before I talk about the dildo itself here is some information about Persian Palm.

Dodil Mouldable Dildo An Update

A Dodil is a Dildo for all seasons

I was lucky to be an early reviewer of the revolutionary Dodil mouldable dildo earlier this year, and I enjoyed reviewing it so much.

I loved the concept, being able to create the perfect dildo for my style of masturbation was a real breakthrough. It's so much fun on many levels appealing to my creative side as well as my kinky side.

The Dodil is just so different to everything else available. In a world of technology, magnetic chargers and internet of things (IoT) toys and equipment it is refreshing to see something as simple and efficient as the Dodil.

Joanne

I can categorically say that the Dodil is my sex toy of the year 2017. Everyone should have one, and I was delighted to hear that they haven't rested on their laurels they are continuing to improve their product and are thinking laterally.

They sent me the second version of the toy to review which was a lovely surprise indeed.

Fleshlight Freaks Frankenstein Silicone Dildo Review

A monstrously good dildo ideal for some Halloween fun

This is my second Halloween special review, the first being the sickly looking Zombie Dildo. This one looks a little bit better but it still won't appeal to some. This is why it's only the second review I have ever done to carry a trigger warning.

After having so much fun reviewing the Zombie dildo I decided to give another of the Fleshlight Freaks a go. This time I chose the Frankenstein dildo since I love the Mary Shelly book - definitely read it.

The colouration of this dildo is beautiful, it is a mottled green and it's very shiny giving it a slick wet look. The detailing includes cracks, scars and metallic grafts all of them looking amazing.

Joanne

I acquired a Frankenstein dildo and I immediately started my reviewing process. I also did some special sketches as my Zombie dildo review ones were well received. So, what did I think of this collection of dick parts lovingly stitched together by Dr F himself?

Trigger Warning: This review contains pictures of a Frankenstein dildo that some people may find distasteful or disturbing. You can decide whether or not you want to proceed to those pictures by continuing to read this review.

Silicone Cock Skull Dildo Black

Today I'm redifining the term - getting Skull Fucked

I have long been an admirer of the wares carried by Meo.de. Having enjoyed reading many reviews of their products from some of my favourite reviewers.

So I was delighted when they agreed to let me review some products for them. With great German efficiency, the selected products soon arrived and I couldn't wait to get started. They had sent me a whole host of kinky BDSM equipment to review together with this oh so special dildo.

The lube retention coupled with the texture makes it a formidable yet enjoyable anal or vaginal sextoy.

Joanne

It's a size queens dream and it also appeals to my inner Goth. The skull at the base of it looks foreboding as well as adding a layer of dark kink.

I was sent this dildo for free in exchange of an honest review. I must admit though to under-estimating its size and my eyes popped out of my head on stalks in true comic book fashion when it arrived.

Fleshlight Freaks Zombie Silicone Dildo Review

The chilling tale of my encounter with the living thrusting dead

Are we all sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin. It all started mid-October when the delightful Scandarella got in touch with me asking if I fancied a new dildo to review. Well, that got my attention and then she told me what it was.....

You see, she had been sent the wrong dildo to review and as it was going to be replaced she asked if I wanted it.

Now I love my fantasy dildos especially as I'm a bit of a texture queen. I like my dildos to have lots of ridges and bumps but I have never had a dildo quite like this one.

The thing is all that detail and texture makes it one hell of a good dildo for thrusting. It wasn't long before I was sounding like a zombie myself - "Nnnnnnn, mmmmmm" etc.

Joanne

Imagine living in a world where Zombies roam the earth, very hungry zombies in fact. These zombies are not the usual ones though. 'Brains' are the last things on their corrupted decaying minds. Instead, they crave pussy and ass. This was the fantasy world that I was about to descend into.

Trigger Warning: This review contains pictures of a Zombie dildo that some people may find distasteful or distressing. You can decide whether or not you want to proceed to those pictures by continuing to read this review.

Review Of The Dodil Mouldable Dildo

Fancy a new dildo every night? You can with the Dodil

This is a review that I have been itching to write for a while now. There is a new dildo on the block and it's pretty revolutionary in that you can change its shape over and over again. You don't have to settle for a run of the mill generic dick shaped dildo now. With a Dodil you can let your imagination run wild as you create something unique.

I'm impressed with my first creation. I was scared that I would produce something looking more like a Mr Potatoe Head than a dildo. But that fear was unfounded and I loved being able to design my own sex toy.

Joanne

I was delighted that theDodil.com agreed to send me one of these beauties to review and I eagerly awaited its arrival. It's not often that you get to design your own dildo.

Review Of The Seahorse Dildo From Mr Hankeys Toys

This textured beast of a dildo will really make your eyes pop

As you may already know I'm a bit of a texture queen when it comes to my dildos. I like something that is going to stimulate and challenge my vagina (or my anus) when I play. So you can imagine my delight when Mr Hankey sent me this incredible looking fantasy dildo to review.

This is the toy to get if you like your texture and prefer to actually feel a toy moving in and out of your holes. Smooth toys don't give you that intense level of stimulation. You can feel and savour every bump, ridge and indentation as you thrust it in and out.

Joanne

I could hardly contain my excitement when I opened up the package to see what I had been sent to review. This has to be the weirdest and most textured object that my Foof has ever had the pleasure of tackling. I couldn't wait to get started with my review of it.

After three weeks of tackling this behemoth I'm ready to let you all know what it feels like. Together with whether or not it's worth recommending as let's face it, this is not a normal looking dildo by any stretch of your imagination.

CutlerX Silicone Dildo Review from Mr Hankeys Toys

This is the dildo that almost broke my pussy

Just when I thought I'd met my match when I reviewed the Anaconda from MrHankeysToys.com as it was shall we say a very nice and tight fit, I have yet again been given another challenge and that is in the form of the CutlerX silicone dildo. This mind-blowing dildo is actually a life-cast from the male pornstar CutlerX and to be honest I don't know how he stays conscious when he gets an erection as his penis is simply huge - as you will see in this review.

The trick is to warm up for it and to use lots and lots of lube replacing it as and when necessary. I know that a lot of guys will enjoy this one anally but it's just too big for me back there and so I'll just stick with having my pussy filled by CutlerX.

Joanne

This is the third dildo that I have reviewed for Mr Hankeys Toys and I have another one tucked away to review once my vagina recovers from its onslaught by CutlerX. So read on to find out how much I enjoyed this phallus and you can then decide if you are upto the challenge that is the CutlerX dildo.

GlassbyWoozy Glass Tentacle Dildo Review

A Stunning Fantasy Glass Dildo

I love glass sex toys and I also have a thing for fantasy or unusual dildos. So after reviewing the Icicles No 24 Tentacle Dildo I was delighted when I had the opportunity to review a handmade glass dildo from GlassbyWoozy an etsy retailer who produce some incredible creations. They are real artisans and their creations are works of art.

I really can't describe adequately the feeling of those suckers when they are drawn over my clit, it has my toes curling and me gasping for breath very quickly and it has delivered some cracking orgasms.

Joanne

GlassbyWoozy are based in Colorado Springs in the USA in what I can only imagine must be heaven for glass dildo enthusiasts. You only need to look their their range of incredible creations to realise that what they produce is really rather special. Follow them on Twitter for pictures and even the occasional video of them creating their kinky art.

Anaconda Silicone Dildo From Mr Hankeys Toys

The Phallic Shaped Vac-u-Lock Dildo That Will Make Your Eyes Water

After I had reviewed the Centaur Dildo from Mr Hankey's Toys I was pretty confident that I would enjoy this dildo and more importantly that it would fit inside my Foof. This is another huge dildo and it's actually the small, this dildo is designed for, well shall we just say the lover of all things "fulfilling".

It's made in the USA by proud silicone dildo creator Mr Hankey's Toys and the Anaconda is one of many amazing examples of big dildos on his site that are well worth checking out. My eyes are constantly drawn to the CutlerX - swoon. If you crave the bigger and longer dildos then this site is definitely for you, some of the designs are fantasy ones and others are incredibly realistic, this one sits between those two genres of dildo.

This is my second dildo from Mr Hankey's Toys and I am blown away by the product, some of the other dildos on his site look incredible and the CutlerX which is a life-cast dildo has definitely caught my attention and lets just say that I have a soft spot for it.

Joanne

So is this dildo with its tapered tip and squashed cross section something to rave or rage about? Read on to find out what I thought of it after spending a month getting to know it.

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Persian Palm Eva Classic Line Ceramic Dildo

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Ceramic perfection from Persian Palm This is a bit of a special review, special because once in a while you come across a product that is not only a very functional sex toy but also a work of art. Persian Palm sent me this incredible personalised Eva Classic… Read More
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