Reviews

Joannes Reviews I have a lot of fun reviewing sex toys and adult related products and I hope that you enjoy my reviews and find them useful. It is always good to see someone's opinion of an item before you consider parting with your hard earned cash.

Reviews
Zumio An Amazing Clitoral Vibrator

Tagged under:

Review Clitoral Vibrator Vibe Rechargeable USB Waterproof Silicone ABS

Overall Rating:
9.4

Zumio An Amazing Clitoral Vibrator

The Zumio, the little sex toy that blew my socks off

It's here.......... finally I have managed to get my hands on a Zumio so that my clitoris could act as judge jury and possible even executioner for this controversial little clitoral vibrator.

The controversy about this little sex toy came about with its release and the marketing blurb surrounding it. Phrases such as "Guaranteed Orgasm" and "cum in under 60 seconds" soon had lots of reviewers and bloggers up in arms about this style of advertising. You see, the problem is that if you don't cum in less than sixty seconds or heaven forbid not at all you risk wallowing in self-pity wondering if there is something wrong with you and that is not the case.

For me, orgasms with the Zumio always leaves me smiling and breathless while looking at the ceiling and chastising myself inwardly along the lines of "Damn girl, you have no staying power at all".

Joanne

We all masturbate and orgasm differently, sometimes I can't achieve orgasm at all when I do due to pain or my meds, that doesn't mean I am broken sexually. Now I too hated the gimmicky advertising but I have heard good things about the toy itself, and so I had to satisfy my curiosity about it by getting one for a review.

Being a tight arse though I bought a second hand one from another blogger - the fantastic Little Switch Bitch (waves and sends a wink her way). Before you start making a face and thinking "Ewwwww - a second-hand sex toy" read on.

Allure Plus Size PVC French Maid Costume Review

Tagged under:

Review LatexLeatherLace PVC Maid Lingerie Kinky

Overall Rating:
9.4

Allure Plus Size PVC French Maid Costume Review

Modeled by sub 'r', she was 'maid to serve' - Boom, Boom (I'll get my coat)

This is a review of one of the most delightful French Maid costumes that I have ever come across. It's from Latex Leather and Lace, it is part of their Allure Lingerie Collection. I love these guys for their ethics and astonishing range of outfits, shoes, boots and kink. You name it, and they stock it.

Stunt cock is training a submissive (sub r), and he took her into Latex Leather & Lace to choose a birthday present. It turns out that she has excellent (and kinky) taste.

"This is now the favourite outfit for submissive 'r', and she looks so sweet in it, almost as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, but I know otherwise LOL. I must admit as well that it is also my favourite outfit that she has as it looks amazing on her."

Joanne

As soon as they both walked into the Latex, Leather & Lace shop, they were made to feel very welcome. The staff there are just so knowledgeable and friendly. After perusing the fantastic selection of toys and outfits, sub 'r' decided that she fancied a maids outfit.

With three to try on, she was ushered into the changing area, and Stunt Cock was left to wait to see how his submissive looked in each. He didn't have to wait very long at all.

Spanking Machine v.2 Review

Tagged under:

Review BDSM Sex Machine Impact Play Sex Toy

Overall Rating:
9.4

Spanking Machine v.2 Review

Machine delivered corporal punishment

I learned something new recently; spanking machines are a thing! I was delighted when the good people over at sexmachines.co.uk got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing one of them.

The chance to review another sex machine was too good to miss and as I do enjoy a good spanking, and so does submissive 'r' I jumped at the chance.

"I have been on the receiving end of it a couple of times now, but it is submissive 'r' who has really tested this out under the steadying hand of my Stunt Cock."

Joanne

I was then left viewing the assembly video on the sexmachines.co.uk website to understand how it all goes together so that I didn't waste any time when it arrived.

I didn't have to wait long as sexmachines.co.uk are always very quick with their deliveries.

Fifty Shades Of Grey Charlie Tango Vibrator Review

Tagged under:

Review Vibe Vibrator ABS Silicone Fifty Shades

Overall Rating:
8.8

Fifty Shades Of Grey Charlie Tango Vibrator Review

There is nothing grey about the performance of this little vibe

I was delighted when the lovely people over at Pleasure Attic got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing the Fifty Shades Of Grey Charlie Tango Vibrator for them.

Now, this is the first sex toy from the Fifty Shades franchise that I have reviewed, and I was curious if it would live up to its hype.

"It has a grey matte finish which looks really, really nice. I love the dark look, and the matte finish makes it easy to hold."

Joanne

Having read the books I was interested to see if this vibrator would live up to its description or if it would be just a terrible offering to E.L.James and the publisher gods.

As you can tell I jumped at the chance of putting it through its paces to see if it would bring me to my knees or if it would leave me frustrated and in a grey mood.

Bathmate Shower Strap Review

Tagged under:

Review Penis Enlarger Bathmate Vacuum Developer

Overall Rating:
9.0

Bathmate Shower Strap Review

The hands-free kit for your Bathmate penis enlarger

Stunt CockStunt Cock here again for a quick update on my quest to shall we just say "maximise my potential".

I am still using my Hydromax X30 Wide Boy Penis Enlarger, and if you read my review of it, you will know that the only downside with using it in the shower is having to hold it in place.

"Before I started using a strap, my usual showering ritual consisted of using the Hydromax X30 Wide Boy enlarger as part of my regime, but I had to focus on that and then clean myself."

Stunt Cock

Use in a bath would be much easier. Bathmate produces a handy shower strap, and about halfway through my review, I made a homemade creation using an old exhibition lanyard.

That wasn't a permanent solution, and the nice guys at Bathmate agreed to send me one of their shower straps for free in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Fun Factory Buch Dick Silicone Spanking Paddle Review

Tagged under:

Review BDSM Paddle Silicone Fun Factory CrimsonPrincess Dildo

Overall Rating:
9.4

Fun Factory Buch Dick Silicone Spanking Paddle Review

This exceptional silicone paddle is great for BDSM impact play

I love some BDSM fun and games and impact play often form part of this type of sessions.

I was therefore delighted when one of my sites sponsors Crimson Princess (check them out they are great) got in touch asking if I wanted to review the Buch Dick from Fun Factory for them.

"After a good paddling, your skin becomes red and very sensitive, in this state, you can enjoy some excellent texture play, and the rough side feels amazing"

Joanne

Now, Buch Dick in German translates to 'Bend Over' which is perfect as that is what this sex toy is all about. Bending over and taking your punishment.

The Buch Dick is a silicone spanking paddle, and I was sent this one free of charge in exchange for a fair and honest review. No affiliate links have been used in this review.

Rocks-Off 10 Speed Vortex Vibrating Butt Plug Review

Tagged under:

Review Rocks Off Bullet AAA ABS Silicone 10speed Butt Plug Anal

Overall Rating:
8.8

Rocks-Off 10 Speed Vortex Vibrating Butt Plug Review

Give yourself some quality bum loving with this vibrating butt plug

I am a big fan of Rocks Off and the sex toys that they produce, their bullet vibes are fantastic value for money, and so I was delighted when they offered to send me one of their Vortex vibes to review for free in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Rocks Off are a great UK company that is renowned for their creations; there are a few I am still dying to get hold of to review like their amazing Ruby Glow. But this review is about one of their vibrating silicone butt plugs.

"I gave a little jump as I switched on the RO-120mm bullet vibe, the vibrations caused an involuntary clenching onto the plug that felt good too."

Joanne

I do enjoy a good butt plug and having one that vibrates is even more fun. I have enjoyed getting to know the Vortex.

It isn't just a butt plug though; the 10-speed bullet vibe is removable which means you can have so much more fun with it so here are my thoughts on this silicone butt plug.

Hot Octopuss Atom Plus Vibrating Cock Ring Review

This is not just your usual run of the mill cock ring, this is a super hero of a cock ring

I love it when I receive a couples sex toy to review. I was therefore delighted when Hot Octopuss got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing one of their latest creations. I didn't have to think long before answering, after all, who wouldn't want to try the latest product from this fantastic company.

Hot Octopuss are the creators of the fantastic Pulse III Duo that we had so much fun reviewing as well as the Queen Bee and Pocket Pulse. They make amazing sex toys and are one of my favourite UK brands.

"I came quickly, and I came hard, this set him off and while we didn't experience a simultaneous orgasm the first time, both of us were left breathless and blown away by the experience."

Joanne

They sent me one of their new Atom Plus Vibrating Cock Rings to review free of charge in exchange for a fair and honest review.

So, let me tell you why I think the Atom Plus is the mother of all vibrating cock rings.

Black And White Leather Bondage Collar From MeoBond

Tagged under:

Review MEO Restraint Collar BDSM Leather

Overall Rating:
8.8

Black And White Leather Bondage Collar From MeoBond

A high contrast wide collar that is like a posture collar on me

Anyone who reads my reviews knows that I am a sucker for a beautiful BDSM collar. I am a gal who loves to feel that form or restraint around my neck while getting up to all sorts of kinky fun.

You can imagine my excitement when the kinky boys at meo.de asked me if I would be interested in reviewing another collar for them. This time one of their black and white leather bondage collars. Naturally, I couldn't refuse such an offer, and here I am about to fill you in on the details of what I thought if it.

"Meo always impresses me with their Meo branded products; they take the time to source the best materials and artisans, I can say with my hand on my heart all of the products that I have reviewed for them have been first class. I just love reviewing for them, they are so kinky, and their product range has to be seen to be believed."

Joanne

This collar is from the same range as the black and white leather bondage wrist cuffs that I recently reviewed from Meo.de, and it looks fantastic.

Rocks Off Bamboo Fire 10 Speed Bullet Vibrator Review

Tagged under:

Review Rocks Off AAA Bullet Vibrator Vibe ABS Waterproof 10speed

Overall Rating:
8.8

Rocks Off Bamboo Fire 10 Speed Bullet Vibrator Review

The chisel shaped clitoral pleaser

One of my all-time favourite vibe manufacturers is Rocks Off. They are a UK based manufacturer of very reasonably priced vibrators and sex toys. Don't let the fact that they are cheap put you off though. I have the utmost respect for the genius in their orgasm engineering department. He or she designs first-class vibrators.

I was delighted when they asked if I would review their Bamboo Fire Vibrator for them. This is a design that they have had on the books for a while. I have had my eye on it, and so I jumped at the chance to treat my clit to some Rocks Off loving again.

I like Rock-Off vibes; I find that they work well with my masturbation style. I always have no problems getting off with them. This one didn't disappoint.

Joanne

The Bamboo Fire was sent to me for free in exchange for a fair and honest review. That has not affected the outcome of this review in any way.

I didn't have to wait long for it to arrive and I must say it looks fantastic. I guess that you are more interested in how it performs though and so on with the review.

Latest Reviews

April 19, 2018

Zumio An Amazing Clitoral Vibrator

in Vibrators
The Zumio, the little sex toy that blew my socks off It's here.......... finally I have managed to get my hands on a Zumio so that my clitoris could act as judge jury and possible even executioner for this controversial little clitoral vibrator. The… Read More
April 17, 2018

Allure Plus Size PVC French Maid Costume Review

in Other Reviews
Modeled by sub 'r', she was 'maid to serve' - Boom, Boom (I'll get my coat) This is a review of one of the most delightful French Maid costumes that I have ever come across. It's from Latex Leather and Lace, it is part of their Allure Lingerie Collection. I… Read More
Apr 06, 2018

Spanking Machine v.2 Review

in Sex & Fucking Machines
Machine delivered corporal punishment I learned something new recently; spanking machines… Read More

Recent Articles

February 10, 2018 750

EStim Resources

This page is the hub of everything estim related on this site Three years ago the amazing guys over at E-Stim Systems got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing some of their e-stim equipment. I had to be honest as I had never even heard of… Read More
November 11, 2017 2669

The Sybian Riders Guide

Getting the most bang for your buck with a Sybian The Sybian is a legend in its own right, for 30 years it has been providing hard orgasms to women all around the world. It's without a doubt the most powerful vibrator that I have ever had the privilege of… Read More
Nov 02, 2017 1495

A Guide To Nipple Play

I love nipple play, it is the gender free sex organ made for loving Well, they're made… Read More

Latest Blog Posts

April 15, 2018

4000 Twitter Followers Mega Giveaway Competition

in Blog
Celebrate this milestone with me by winning some kinky sextoys I am fast approaching 4,000 followers on Twitter and thought it would be nice to be able to celebrate this milestone achievement with a fantastic giveaway. Three amazing companies have stepped… Read More
March 02, 2018

I Am Reviewing The uFUC PRO v.2 Fucking machine

in Blog
I have just received another fucking machine from sexmachines.co.uk I am delighted to announce that I will be reviewing the uFUC PRO v.2 Fucking machine for my new sponsor sexmachines.co.uk It arrived today and I have *cough* already shall we say conducted a… Read More
Feb 19, 2018

Eroticon - Come meet and greet me

in Blog
The virtual meet and greet With Eroticon 2018 just a few weeks away everyone is… Read More
×