General

General
Sex and Fucking Machine Wishlist

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Sex Machine Fucking Machine

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Sex and Fucking Machine Wishlist

As you will probably be aware, I have a thing for sex and fucking machines and love playing with them. Either using them on someone, playing on my own with them or being teased with them by someone else. I would love to be able to review more to give you all the benefit of an honest and detailed review but they cost a lot of money so in real terms sex machine reviews will be few and far between.

I am constantly saving up for new toys and fucking machines and when I have enough I will be working my way through this list of delights. If you fancy chipping in to help me buy one then I will be forever in your debt, just get in touch with me to help me review these incredible products.

If you are a retailer or manufacturer and want me to do a review of them then please do get in touch I would love to be able to review something for you. Well without further ado, here is a wishlist of the machines that I would love to be able to experience and review for you all.....


Love Rider - Funky Rocker Clone

Loverider Monkey RockerAvailable from: sexmachines.co.uk
Price: £190.80

It sounds like a great concept, you use your own muscles and body movements to literally fuck yourself as hard and as fast as you want.

You sit on the Love Rider and thrust yourself forward and backwards, the linkage on it then translates that movement into the up and down thrusts of a dildo mounted on it.

With a maximum stroke length of eight inches I can't wait to be able to ride it to some great orgasms. Whilst enjoying the exercise.


Blue Balls XL Fucking Machine

Blue Balls XL Fucking MachineAvailable from: sexmachines.co.uk
Price: £238.80

This is a more traditional fucking machine and I like the fact that you can position it to use it whilst standing up. It offers a lot of potential for BDSM games and subbie fun.

It can deliver upto 300 thrusts per minute which should keep me happy and you can use vac-u-lock dildos on it as well as a male masturbator.

With a maximum stroke length of six inches I wont be complaining at all. Oh and the speed controller is also a vibrator so I get to enjoy some clitty fun with it as well.


Feel free to make a donation to buy me a coffee of help me save up enough to buy my next machine.
My Bitcoin Address: 13wXGFARGiktQX83Tomn7geMeXnSgd3PYn

Sex Toy Reviews

Joannes ReviewsCheck out my sex toy reviews

I have a lot of fun doing what I do and I try to make my reviews interesting and above all informative. You can use the links below to view lists of reviews from each catagory.

If you see something that interests you then just click on the Read More link to open up that review in full.

The latest reviews are always at the top of the list. If you don't see something that you are looking for then use the search box on the left to look for it.


View By Type Of Review

Sex or Fucking Machines - Including the Sybian, F-Machine and the Shockspot

Vibrators - Bullet vibes, wands, multispeed vibrators and more

Dildos & Attachments - Fancy something inside you? Dildos are a lot of fun

Butt Plugs - Back door fun and games

Male Masturbators - These sex toys are definitely something more comfortable to slip into

E-Stim - Power boxes, electrodes and more

Lube - Great lubes form Sliquid, Licx, ID and SpunkLube

Sex Toy Cleaners - Don't overlook a cleaner for your sex toys

Other Items - Great sex toys not covered by the categories above


View By Type Of Material

The material that your sex toys are made out of is a big concern, these materials are listed in descending order with the most body safe material at the top and the least body safe at the bottom.

Silicone

Glass

Leather

Rubber

PVC

Sex Toy Discount Codes

I have managed to negotiate some great discounts with some of the UK's best suppliers. Check out their great range of stock and don't forget to use your discount code during the checkout process.


Sextoys.co.uk

I love these guys, they are super helpful and friendly and you can get yourself a great discount of 10% when you use this discount with them: JOANNE10

Get 10% off with discount code JOANNE10


Fmachinefun.co.uk

This is where I get most of my fucking and sex machines from and I also use their amazing rental service. I have negotiated a nice little discount that can be used on purchases and also rentals. Use this discount code to get 5% off: JOANNE5

Get 5% off with discount code JOANNE5


BonneAmour.co.uk

The new kids on the block, Bonne Amour are a great company offering many incentives such as free gifts and free shipping with orders over £30. Use this discount code to get 10% off: JOANNE10

Get 10% off with discount code JOANNE10

Blogroll - Other Blogs That I Love To Read

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Blog

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Blogroll - Other Blogs That I Love To Read

Other Blogs That I Love To Read

This is a list of related blogs that I love reading and are well worth a visit. They are in alphabetical order and whilst I do have my favourites it doesn't show on here. I can highly recommend them all to you:

Blogroll

Beck And Her Kinks

A sinful bitches journey to her kinks. If you are looking for amazing reviews and sex articles then definitely check her out.

Blissfully Orgasmic

Another great blog that is well worth checking out.

Cara Sutra

Cara is a multi award winning sex blogger from the UK who is top of her game, check out her amazing site.

Dangerous Lilly

Lilly has an amazing site and she is a safe sex toy material champion and it is her mission to educate people to some of the dangerous materials out there. Check out her Toxic Sex Toy articles for a real shocker. She is amazing.

Emmeline Peaches Reviews

Another UK blogger, Emmeline is an absolute sweetheart and super friendly. Her reviews are incredible go and check her out.

Just Indecerous

This guy is a barrel of laughs and I love his blog - plus he is kind of cute. Check out his amazing videos.

Kinky Bondage Fetish Blog

A relatively new but growing quickly fetish blog. Nothing is too kinky for these guys.

Kinky Kitten

Another amazing UK blogger and cute as hell to boot, I love her reviews and she is an amazing character.

Miss Ruby Reviews

An amazing reviewer who writes incredible reviews, she has been online for a while and has a wealth of reviews to enjoy.

Positively Sex Toys

A new and growing blog that I enjoy following.

Princess Previews

Grace is from Australia and she writes incredible reviews, check them out and tell her Joanne says Hi.


If you have any suggestion for blogs for me to follow please let me know.

Sex Toy Videos

Sex Toy Videos

I have started doing short video reviews to compliment my reviews on here and host the videos on my Youtube Channel.

I will also add them on here as a quick point of reference and of course you can click on the links shown to go to the full reviews.


Keri Rechargeable Vibrator From Svakom

A very nice body safe rechargeable vibrator from Svakom that packs quite a punch. You can read my Full Keri Review Here.


Venus For Men Masturbator Review

This is one amazing way for guys to get their rocks off and increase stamina. It is a sex machine for guys (and gals). You can read my Full Venus Review Here.


Lelo Ora 2 Video Review

This is a unique vibrator that tries to simulate the effect of having a tongue pleasuring your clitoris. You can read my Full Lelo Ora 2 Review Here.


Alien Fleshlight Video Review

I really love this Fleshlight and this is my first real video review, I hope you enjoy it. You can read my Full Alien Fleshlight Review Here.


ALien Fleshlight Internal Texture Video - "Cock Cam"

I really enjoyed reviewing the Alien Fleshlight masturbator and wanted to show the inner texture and so I used my Svakom Siime Eye Camera Vibrator to video a cocks eye view of it. You can read my Alien Fleshlight Review Here.


My First Blooper - Who wants to see my pussy?

I thought this was worth posting as its the first time my pussy has appeared in one of my videos.


Male Nereid Silicone Dildo

This is one stunning silicone dildo. I bought an off the shelf one in black and glow in the dark green and it really is a loto fo fun in a dark bedroom. You can read my Full Male Nereid Review Here.


Sybian Sex Machine Functionality

I absolutely adore the Sybian Sex Machine but it is often hard to describe just how good the sensations are on one or how the attachments move and so I did this short video to show just how powerful it is. You can read my Full Sybian Review Here.


Fleshlight Pink Lady Vortex Inner Texture - "Cock Cam"

I really enjoyed reviewing the Fleshlight Pink Lady Vortex male masturbator and wanted to show the inner texture and so I used my Svakom Siime Eye Camera Vibrator to video a cocks eye view of it. You can read my Fleshlight Pink Lady Vortex Review Here.


Boom Chi 10 Speed Silicone Vibrator Operation

This short video has me showing the controls of the Boom Chi, check out the Full Boom Chi Review Here.


Vibe Therapy Dive Slimline Pink Vibrator Operation

This short video is a demonstartion of the controls and functions of a this nice little vibrator, check out the Full Vibe Therapy Dive Slimline Pink Vibrator Review Here.


Welcome

Welcome to my little corner of the internet

Mystery LadyWho am I?

Well I am a married mother of two who is very confident about her sexuality. I have recently discovered the wonderful world of machine sex and I thought that I should put pen to paper (in the internet sense of course) to let other know about what has worked for me and what doesn't work so well.

Yes this is another one of those 'review' sites, but unlike most I will primarily be devoting my attention to Fucking Machines, Sex Machines, Dildos, Lube and their suppliers. That said though I will also be reviewing anything that catches my eye.

This is my first attempt at anything like this so please be gentle (and forgiving) with me, it's early days yet but I have high hopes for the site.

What's new?

To kick things off I have written two reviews, the first is about the F-Machine Pro fucking machine and the second is of my experience with the much vaunted Sybian Pleasure System.

Affiliates, Recommended Companies and Good Sites, etc.

There are a lot of great companies out there and some of them definitely deserve a mention here. So here are my favourite sex machine and sex toy providers and some information about them:

Joanne’s Affiliates

www.Bondara.co.uk

Free delivery, free batteries and free gifts. Bondara really is one of the biggest sex toy retailers in the UK and you can get some real bargain there. Check out their amazing selection of Special Offers.

Their products, service and general frienly nature are second to none.

Save £££ with our amazing Sex Toy Offers at Lovehoney Lovehoney Deal of the Day

www.lovehoney.co.uk


I have used Love Honey for years and their amazing product range coupled to their low prices and discreet service have ensured that they are one of the biggest sex toy retailers in the UK.

Check out their Deal of the day. For the guys though check out their Fleshlight Range, it’s the largest in the UK. Remember you can always attach a Fleshlight to a fucking machine for a mind blowing experience - they’re not just for the girls.

My favourites though are their range of Rabbit Vibrators, second to none and I have to hold my hand up to owning two of theirs.

FMachine Fun, rent or buy the best sex machines available

www.fmachinefun.co.uk


This is the site that got me interested in Fucking Machines and Sex Machines and they are a firm favourite of mine for their customer service and great down to earth attitude. Nothing is too much trouble and they are very helpful and a great source of information on sex machines in general.

They are the people that I rented a Sybian and got my F-Machine Pro from.

For anyone interested in trying a Fucking Machine or Sybian out before spending a lot of money on one it makes a lot of sense to check them out. Feeling kinky? Try out a sex machine for yourself in the comfort of your own home.

They run both a shop and a great rental service where you can hire a F-Machine Pro or a Sybian to use in your own home and I can attest to the discreet service that they provide. They include new attachment with their rental machines and you get to keep them so you are safe in the knowledge that they aren’t recycling them "Eeew what a thought".

Check them out and don’t forget to tell them that Joanne says "Hi".

sex toys uk banner 327x250

www.sextoys.co.uk

I bought my first ever vibrator from these guys and I have always gone back to them time and time again as they provide great service and some amazing special offers. They also have a huge range of sex toys.

Check out their great range of Rabbit Vibrators, Dildos and Male Masturbators.

I have watched their fetish lines of products grow and grow over the years and you should definitely check out their Fetish & Bondage Kits. The other thing that I am experimenting with at the moment is Electo Sex and they have some great products in that category.

sex toys 365

SexShop365.co.uk

These guys have a great selection of adult sex toys and carry a large selection of Glass Toys.

I have seen their range of products grow over many years of shopping with them and would highly recommend their services.


Disclaimer

This site contains content of an adult nature (inc. sex toys, erotica, and frank discussions about sex and sexual organs). Anyone who is under the legal age in their country to view adult-orientated material or who is of a sensitive nature when it comes to sex should not view this blog.


Disclosure

Sex Machine Reviews is my personal blog written primarily by a single author (with occasional insights from her partner).

I am not paid to review sex toys, however, I do occasionally receive free or discounted samples in exchange for an honest review of the product. They key word here is honest. I will never sugar coat a review because I received the item for free. Both my readers and those who send me free samples want the truth, and that is what I provide.

I will always let my readers know who sent me the free/discounted product in the spirit of full disclosure.

I am also a member of a few affiliate programmes focusing on adult products. If readers decided to purchase via affiliate links on Sex Machine Reviews then I do earn a small percentage. Where possible, though readers will be made aware of affiliate links so that it is their choice whether or not to use them.

Using these links helps secure the ongoing success of Sex Machine Reviews and it also keeps me in new toys (Yay). No-one should feel obligated to use any of the affiliate links. You can simply google the websites mentioned or manually type web addresses into your browser. That said though, if you do decide to use these links then I thank you, in advance, for your ongoing support. Thank you, thank you, thank you xxx.

About Me

Mystery LadyI'm Joanne, the writer, editor, re-editor, spelling corrector and creator of sexmachinereviews.co.uk a blog that I hope will help people as I share my personal experiences of the products you see on this site. I am very sexually liberated and have my kinks, the biggest of which I am sharing on this site and that is my love of mechanical sex. Yes I like fucking machines.

I am a married mother of two who is in her 40's. I could definitely be described as a 'Cougar' or 'MILF', I decided to grab the bull by the horns and do something different with my spare time - hence this blog.

I have absolutely no writing qualifications or for that matter experience so this site is going to be a steep learning curve for me. I hope you bear with me and stick in there as I think that it will be a fun place to visit.

This is my first blog but my sexual journey has been a long one indeed. I used to be a good girl but now I love it a little kinky. I have had my ups and downs like everyone else but every setback that I have encountered has made me stronger and more determined to be open about my sexuality.

My body has had its knocks and dinks over the years and I struggle with mild arthritis in my hands and wrists which is one of the reasons why I enjoy using sex machines so much - they are hands free.

I often provide pretty graphic accounts of what I get upto whilst doing reviews so they are not for the shy but if I like something I say so and if I don't like something then I will tell you why.

I am in absolute awe of some of the bigger sex bloggers out there and hope to forge links and friendships with them as I progress along this long road that is ahead of me.

What do I hope to achieve with this blog? Well I hope firstly to be able to help others expand their sexual knowledge and experiences and I hope that along the road I can become a better person for doing so.

Mystery Lady on her ShockspotI love writting sex toy reviews and intend to highlight the excitement and enjoyment that sex and fucking machines and their dildos can bring to your sex life.

I am really looking forward to any comments that I get so don't be shy, let me know what you think good and bad.

Oh and that's quite a likeness up there - just saying ;-)

Now What?

Want to check out the reviews? - Start by checking out my sitemap it will show you everything that I have written so far or try a quick search.

Disclosure

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Disclosure

Sexmachinereviews.co.uk is my personal blog where I review sex toys, sex machines and adult related products. The products being reviewed here are ones that I have purchased myself or that have been provided my manufacturers or retailers for me to review.

I always write honest and frank reviews no matter where a product has came from. It is important for my readers to know the good things about a product but it's more important to know the bad things related to it as well.

I hope that in the future I will be sent more products to review and if that is the case then in the review I will inform you the reader that it is a product that I have been sent rather than one that I've bought myself. Being sent something to review will in no way sway my review and each product will stand or fall on its own merits.

Reviews In The Pipeline

I'm such a lucky lass. I have a lot of toys in my collection that I will be reviewing for you all and just can't help myself from constantly buying new ones to add to it. So I very much doubt that this list will be getting any smaller. But here is what is coming up (in no set order):

  • F-Machine Rocky attachment and fleshlight
  • Spunk Lube - Hybrid
  • Spunk Lube - Silicone
  • Futuretech Rabbit
  • Mother Interior from Hole Punch Toys
  • Lovehoney Jessica Rabbit 2.0 G-Spot Vibrator
  • Classic Whisper Silent Vibrator
  • G Max Sybian Attachment
  • Magic Wand
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