Joanne's Sex Machine and Sex Toy Reviews

Welcome to my siteWelcome to my site, I hope that you enjoy my reviews and articles. I have a fascination with sex toys and in particular sex and fucking machines, e-stim and BDSM.

I have a lot of fun doing what I do and I hope it shows in my reviews and articles.

I love hearing from my readers so please don't be shy, post a comment or get in touch.

Joanne xxx

Zumio An Amazing Clitoral Vibrator

The Zumio, the little sex toy that blew my socks off

It's here.......... finally I have managed to get my hands on a Zumio so that my clitoris could act as judge jury and possible even executioner for this controversial little clitoral vibrator.

The controversy about this little sex toy came about with its release and the marketing blurb surrounding it. Phrases such as "Guaranteed Orgasm" and "cum in under 60 seconds" soon had lots of reviewers and bloggers up in arms about this style of advertising. You see, the problem is that if you don't cum in less than sixty seconds or heaven forbid not at all you risk wallowing in self-pity wondering if there is something wrong with you and that is not the case.

For me, orgasms with the Zumio always leaves me smiling and breathless while looking at the ceiling and chastising myself inwardly along the lines of "Damn girl, you have no staying power at all".

Joanne

We all masturbate and orgasm differently, sometimes I can't achieve orgasm at all when I do due to pain or my meds, that doesn't mean I am broken sexually. Now I too hated the gimmicky advertising but I have heard good things about the toy itself, and so I had to satisfy my curiosity about it by getting one for a review.

Being a tight arse though I bought a second hand one from another blogger - the fantastic Little Switch Bitch (waves and sends a wink her way). Before you start making a face and thinking "Ewwwww - a second-hand sex toy" read on.

Allure Plus Size PVC French Maid Costume Review

Modeled by sub 'r', she was 'maid to serve' - Boom, Boom (I'll get my coat)

This is a review of one of the most delightful French Maid costumes that I have ever come across. It's from Latex Leather and Lace, it is part of their Allure Lingerie Collection. I love these guys for their ethics and astonishing range of outfits, shoes, boots and kink. You name it, and they stock it.

Stunt cock is training a submissive (sub r), and he took her into Latex Leather & Lace to choose a birthday present. It turns out that she has excellent (and kinky) taste.

"This is now the favourite outfit for submissive 'r', and she looks so sweet in it, almost as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, but I know otherwise LOL. I must admit as well that it is also my favourite outfit that she has as it looks amazing on her."

Joanne

As soon as they both walked into the Latex, Leather & Lace shop, they were made to feel very welcome. The staff there are just so knowledgeable and friendly. After perusing the fantastic selection of toys and outfits, sub 'r' decided that she fancied a maids outfit.

With three to try on, she was ushered into the changing area, and Stunt Cock was left to wait to see how his submissive looked in each. He didn't have to wait very long at all.

Spanking Machine v.2 Review

Machine delivered corporal punishment

I learned something new recently; spanking machines are a thing! I was delighted when the good people over at sexmachines.co.uk got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing one of them.

The chance to review another sex machine was too good to miss and as I do enjoy a good spanking, and so does submissive 'r' I jumped at the chance.

"I have been on the receiving end of it a couple of times now, but it is submissive 'r' who has really tested this out under the steadying hand of my Stunt Cock."

Joanne

I was then left viewing the assembly video on the sexmachines.co.uk website to understand how it all goes together so that I didn't waste any time when it arrived.

I didn't have to wait long as sexmachines.co.uk are always very quick with their deliveries.

Fifty Shades Of Grey Charlie Tango Vibrator Review

There is nothing grey about the performance of this little vibe

I was delighted when the lovely people over at Pleasure Attic got in touch asking if I would be interested in reviewing the Fifty Shades Of Grey Charlie Tango Vibrator for them.

Now, this is the first sex toy from the Fifty Shades franchise that I have reviewed, and I was curious if it would live up to its hype.

"It has a grey matte finish which looks really, really nice. I love the dark look, and the matte finish makes it easy to hold."

Joanne

Having read the books I was interested to see if this vibrator would live up to its description or if it would be just a terrible offering to E.L.James and the publisher gods.

As you can tell I jumped at the chance of putting it through its paces to see if it would bring me to my knees or if it would leave me frustrated and in a grey mood.

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Latest Reviews

April 19, 2018

Zumio An Amazing Clitoral Vibrator

in Vibrators
The Zumio, the little sex toy that blew my socks off It's here.......... finally I have managed to get my hands on a Zumio so that my clitoris could act as judge jury and possible even executioner for this controversial little clitoral vibrator. The… Read More
April 17, 2018

Allure Plus Size PVC French Maid Costume Review

in Other Reviews
Modeled by sub 'r', she was 'maid to serve' - Boom, Boom (I'll get my coat) This is a review of one of the most delightful French Maid costumes that I have ever come across. It's from Latex Leather and Lace, it is part of their Allure Lingerie Collection. I… Read More
Apr 06, 2018

Spanking Machine v.2 Review

in Sex & Fucking Machines
Machine delivered corporal punishment I learned something new recently; spanking machines… Read More

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I Am Reviewing The uFUC PRO v.2 Fucking machine

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